My aunt and cousin came down to stay over for the night. I had a friend over, and my other siblings were all there. I'm 18, and the siblings are all younger. Our parents were out of town. We had what I thought was a great night: made veggie fajitas together, all planned to watch a movie. My cousin, however, has Downs Syndrome and is deathly afraid of dogs, which she promised she would deal with as did my aunt. Our dog came in, she freaked out, and the two of them locked themselves in a room upstairs. My brothers had lightly teased her, saying "hey cuz, that's a BIG burrito!" or just laughing with her about the dog. Really, nothing bad. We all minded our own business, checking on them. We put the dogs out and kept them out and in the basement with us to sleep. We invited them back down. Still nothing. We had an extra dog over for the weekend, because my friend was taking care of them. So we went on our own ways, just watching a movie down stairs. This morning my aunt flipped out at us saying we were rude and disrespectful, that we didn't love or want our cousin there, and that what we did was wrong. She then stormed out. We are teenagers. I could have gone out. I instead cooked dinner, stayed in, offered for them all to come watch a movie. Instead, they watched Jepoardy upstairs by themselves. We went on our own way, my brothers and friends, and just hung out. I am so hurt and upset. She's called my parents saying that we made fun of my cousin and were awful and disrespectful. I have NEVER seen her act like this, she is kind and loving and usually an amazing woman with a beautiful heart and soul. I don't get it. Please shed some light. I am so hurt and feel sick to my stomach. Thank you.
Chalk it up to something else going wrong with your aunt. There are issues at work here that had nothing to do with you and that won't be discussed with you, but you did everything right.
I just lost my whole flipping post. Anyway, how old is your cousin? She has Down's, and I get the feeling she's in her early teens or around there. If she's starting puberty, I bet your aunt is enormously stressed, having a child who can't understand what's happening to her body, but experiencing all the negative effects, mood swings, messes, etc. Her statement, "You don't love your cousin or want her around!" is a guilty expression of her own feelings, possibly. And it's normal for her to have those feelings. Can your mom or dad try to talk to her about it and see what you guys can do as a family to maybe give her some relief?
I agree with creedle...sounds like there is much more at play here than just the dogs and/or your cousin. I think you need to talk to her once this all settles down and tell her you didn't think this would happen since you talked about it beforehand and you are hurt that she didn't accept your help when you put the dogs downstairs to keep them away from your cousin.
Unfortunately, we have a society where people often like to take cheap shots at innocent people, even when it is something really low, like being mean to someone with Downs Syndrome. So maybe other people have been mean to your cousin, and that puts your aunt on the defensive. I think it can also be really stressful to have a disabled child. Maybe she thought you brought in the dog on purpose, or were making mean jokes about her being afraid of the dog. Maybe she thought that you were using the dog or had the other dog over to exclude your cousin. Some of the jokes that your siblings made were perhaps intended to be friendly but were taken the wrong way. I think that if you talk to your mom (your aunt's sister?) and also directly to your aunt, you will probably be able to straighten things out. Maybe you could go and visit your aunt? hope this all works out!
e7m8 i think you hit the nail on the head. I talked to my aunt today, and that is how she felt. Thank you for your wise words. Thank you all for being so caring. It really means a lot.
