Try tampons with no applicator. I like natracare organic tampons but OB are the same size/shape They are just little cotton bullets and much easier to insert comfortably with your finger I don't know much about hymens but I would guess that some are not as easy to break as others
go with the plastic tampons, those are awesome! And I am exactly like you (age, virginity) and I felt like that too, the normal ones wouldnt go in, so then I tried the plastic ones and they are a miracle! haha
I found I couldn't use tampons while I was a virgin, too. Everybody is different and you should use whatever makes you feel comfortable.
I started my periods at 12 and I only used my first tampon at 23 for this very reason. I was nervous about it, and risks had been way overhyped. Now, I'm so happy I can finally swim and bathe and feel more comfortable during my period, and I have had no problems apart from the odd ache when I first tried and didn't quite get the angle right. I never realised how nasty and itchy pads actually were. Wait until your flow is quite heavy, but not your first day (too heavy can mean messy and slidy, which will put you off) read the instructions (plastic apps are fantastic) keep your legs apart, relax, and slide in at the right angle (you'll be able to feel what this is as the tampon hits the walls of your vagina) Also, seek medical advice whenever you need it (for actual medical issues) despite what your mother says.