For me personally, sex = love. I would never have sex with somebody that I wasn't completely devoted to, and who I didn't think felt the same way about me. I know for most people, sex doesn't mean love at all anymore, but I'm wondering how many other people out there feel the same way that I do?
I feel the same way Nikki. Mind you, I'm still a virgin and I DO have a pretty disgustingly romantic idea of how I want to lose my virginity. For me, I'd need to love my partner before I can actually come to the decision to have sex with her. I have a couple of friends I'd be honoured to have sex with, though, because we have such special connections emotionally/spiritually. Again, though, I DO love them as people so the love aspect is still there.
yes, I must love a guy before I'd ever have sex with him. As casual as sex is nowadays, I still think it's something you and someone you truly love should do together.
I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic or not, but I do plan to hold onto that. I find myself being disgusted even at the thought of being with somebody who I'm not romantically involved with. Oh, Alternative_Thinker, I feel the same way. I'm also a virgin, and I want my first time to be special and romantic and everything. It's different to lose it to a friend than a lover, as much as you love your friends, it'd still mean more to you to lose it to somebody that you're in love with. I completely agree. I have nothing against people that are down for casual sex, that's just not my type
That's true. I just came out of an online relationship like 6 months ago(ok, so it's been 6 months but I couldn't get over my ex until like last month, lol), and I can tell you she was the only girl who could turn me on then. We'd talk of meeting up someday and about our first time together and everything. She and I are still friends, though, so I'm happy about that. With my friends... There are only very few, and mainly only one who comes to mind. I had a HUGE crush on her in 2009 till the beginning of 2010. We really are better friends now, and because of our very special friendship, I can say I'd regard it as an honour if she and I ever had sex. It's not a very likely possibility, though. Plus, I'm happy just to be her friend.
sometimes when I'm drunk I think I'm in love and I have sex but then I wake up and I'm like, "wtf?" and do the walkf of shame back to my bong
Wasn't being sarcastic, it's just that you're still young, I mean your sexual ideals/morality still have quite a bit of time to get settled.
Sex for me = a night of pleasure with a girl, who I will probably have sex with again if w like each other, if not it's a one night stand. I'm about to turn 34 and thought I was in love several times, turns out I thought I was in Love and it was more like I was in "Lust"..Sex is better when you care about someone, but it's still good even if it's a random encounter or an occasional thing. Sex for me has nothing to do with love. When I meet the right girl and am in love and we have sex, we will be making love so to speak, be sex and love should not be confused, and it's not just my opinion, A lot of people my age and older know this to be true.. Sounds jaded and all that, and it may be, but it is the real world I'm talking about, no "romantic fantasys" of sex and love!!
^This is a prime example of why I want ya to hold on to stance Nikki. I, like Scott, have fallen in and fallen out of love and each time it's harder to "love" again. Thus I take sex for what it is, mutual gratification for all parties involved. I love sex, and it would just be too much work to get into the romantic/relationship motions every time I want to get physical with someone but if you feel like you can do that Nikki, more power to you! :sunny:
When I was 17 sex meant love too. But I didn't have a lot of experience. I only was sleeping with one person and I was young and believed we would get married etc. I wouldn't have sex with anyone that I don't care about. But sometimes sex is just a physical need and we can't all be lucky enough to find "the one" right when the engine gets roaring??.. I think it's good to respect everyone you sleep with. But for those of us who maybe don't believe there is just one person out there who you're meant to be with.. but still enjoy sex. I think it's just easier to love them all equally and keep boundries. Then again i'm still exploring.
There are at least two different kinds of sex. There is sex that is just pleasure sex, there is not a real emotional attachment, just physical. There is making love, and this isn't just slow sex, any kind of sex with someone who are romantically involved with is different than with a friend or stranger (for those who like anonymous sex).
I agree as well. I lost my virginity to my current boyfriend and personally, I am so glad I did. For a girl, losing your virginity and sex means so much more than it does for men. Women often times get attatched to men they have sex with, especially the first man they have sex with. Now even though I have never had sex with anyone other than my boyfriend, I can't say I will always be attatched to a person I have sex with. My boyfriend and I are deeply in love so hopefully I never have to consider having sex with anyone else, but in my opinion sex is good. It always makes me feel better and frankly, sex is the only escape I have other than weed. So even though right now sex=love for me, I'm not sure if this will always be the case. But if you're a virgin, you want it to be with someone you love! So many young women get fucked up by losing their virginity in the "wrong" fashion.
I've always personally seen sex and love as being intertwined. As in I definitely could only sleep with a guy I was totally in love with and who felt the same way for me. Although being physically unable to have sex has surely had an effect on how I view it, I think my core feelings would still be the same regardless. It's been mentioned that being a virgin can sometimes influence how you see sex, but in my own case I don't think that is so. Im certain I'll always feel the same way, even if I lose my virginity one day. I also don't look down on people who can have casual sex with no love involved, although I myself could never do that. Sex on it's own, isn't connected with love at all, and can be totally seperate from it. Although for myself, the two things are connected, because I could only have sex with someone in the context of love.
Yeah, that's exactly how I see it too. I don't look down upon people that have casual sex and I myself have had..not "random" hookups, but I've hooked up with people that I wasn't exactly dating. I think that's what made me realize that I wanted to lose my virginity to somebody that I'm dating, and completely in love with, and that's what I'm gonna do.
