positive enthusiasm

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Paul5445, Apr 18, 2011.

  1. Paul5445

    Paul5445 Member

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    hey, so a gf that i guess you could say i loved was cheating on me, i found out in a pretty bad way it was such a fucked situation. now i dont talk to her or a whole group of people i used to hang out with because how fake they all were. But now i find myself constantly thinking about it, its always in the back of my head and pops up to fuck with me all the time. i feel ive lost all my confidence and seem to be pretty down in the dumps, im trying to get positive but its so fucking hard so i guess im just asking for some enthusiasm anything will help thx :)
     
  2. grlw/theflowerinherhair

    grlw/theflowerinherhair Member

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    well paul5445 i know how you feel recently i found out my now ex bf of 26 months had cheated on me a good 8+ times,and it still comes back to frigg with my head too,the way i look at it is,ppl r ging to wrong you and it hurts like a bitch,i still have not regain all my confidence and it did make me very alone and unsocial,but the best thing to do,is make new friends and cheer up! you know things always get better and ur gunna find like most amazing farout girl oneday who will ofcourse make the waiting worth it. you shudnt be unconfident(even tho its normal) because the only one who shud be feeling bad is ur ex for being a scumbag and cheating. HOPE this helped...not so great with peptalks!
     
  3. Cherea

    Cherea Senior Member

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    Sorry, but I feel it's more natural to let the feeling sink until it hits bottom. I'm sorry about what happened to you.
     
  4. Paul5445

    Paul5445 Member

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    ya i feel like this is guna be with me forever and im always going to have trust issues
    thx grlw/theflower it helped
     
  5. grlw/theflowerinherhair

    grlw/theflowerinherhair Member

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    time will only tell,im sorry.
     
  6. LoneDeranger

    LoneDeranger Trying to pay attention.

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    Yeah, it's small comfort right now, but time really does heal. Keep busy. That helps too. If your mind and body are occupied, you'll find yourself spending less time brooding and more time feeling okay.

    Hang in there.
     
  7. Alternative_Thinker

    Alternative_Thinker Darth Mysterious

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    This is true, and totally was the case for me. And I pretty much kept myself busy for almost half a year solid until I was finally able to flirt with other girls again. But for me it didn't really affect my confidence much. It affected my physical health because I was so emotionally stressed out.

    @ OP - Sorry to hear about your situation. It may take a long time, but it's something you'll have to go through. And it may be really hard at times, but the pain you feel will be temporary. In my case, however, my ex and I are still friends. For the longest time, I believed she and I would get back together, that the breakup was a temporary thing. So, up until very recently, I held onto the belief that we'd be together again someday. She was on my mind every day, every hour. Every time I saw even her name, my heart skipped two beats. I couldn't look at porn where the girl looked like my ex. Ok, maybe I still would be a bit uncomfortable with that, lmao. xD When she talked to me, I was so happy. Even after the breakup, I regarded her as the one I was meant to be with for a long time. I couldn't have even thought of flirting with other girls then.

    Right now, though, things are a bit different. Something made me snap out of it, and now I feel like I'm ready to date again. It's funny because I couldn't stop thinking about my ex up until very recently, but now I find myself thinking about her way less often. I still think about her, but I can regard her simply as a friend now, whereas doing so would make my heart ache before. So yeah, with time, you'll be able to get out of wherever you are emotionally right now. And if it gets unbearable, just cry. I remember the nights where I'd get really drunk and just cry like a child because I missed her so much. I remember writing journal entries swearing that, someday, she and I would get back together and live happily ever after.

    But here I am, about 6 months after the breakup, talking to other girls and I'm actually more physically fit now, too. The breakup made my appetite to really drop, and my insomnia came back full force. Plus I wasn't exercising at all. All the booze I was consuming to achieve sleep certainly didn't help my health situation. I lost a lot of weight which in itself wasn't that bad, but the way it happened wasn't how I wanted. So I took up fitness training again. I got back into weightlifting which enabled me to eat more. Exercising also has been helping me sleep better. OK, I still drink but much less so. All the physical training definitely helped my focus from shifting back to my ex, also. I no longer overload myself with work(unless I need to purely for work reasons) because I don't need to any more, but I still exercise just because it's good for you, plus I'm lovin' the visible results! :p So yeah, time heals indeed...

    All the best!
     
  8. Cherea

    Cherea Senior Member

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    Unfortunately, it is quite possible.
     

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