So sick of it all...

I had a few glasses of wine, so I think I may be a bit dramatic right now: But I'm so fucking sick of my living situation.

I'm living with someone who I care a lot about, BUT:

We're breaking up so HE can go and try out other relationships. This hurts me every time I think about it. I feel like I'm not good enough, and he tells me he already has someone in mind to ask out once I move out. Ouch.

Recently, he's been having a lot of parties. I ask him to ask me first as we're still living together, and one time I had a paper due and I asked him specifically not to have anyone over... He has a huge party anyway. I was stuck in my bedroom writing my essay all night. Now he's having another party tomorrow night, and he won't cancel even after I tell him I don't want to have it (I have 3 exams coming up). I enjoy parties, but not this frequently.

He is not who I thought he was. He's great, but.. I know now that all we'll ever be is friends. It hurts to realize this, because I've invested a lot into the relationship, but he doesn't even seem to care about me anymore. Dramatic, I know, but it feels like this is so.

 

Damn.. I'm sorry. I got thrown out one night after I came home from work. The only explanation I received was "Pack your stuff. I'm just not ready for a serious relationship right now." We were together for 5 years... although he was regularly cheating on me for some time before that but I "tolerated" it like a stupid kid who thought there was nothing else to life than this boy.

I'm sorry. I know exactly how it hurts. But you know what? It's fucking great that you can say you realize this because that's the first step to moving on. You're strong enough to admit that to yourself, so you are strong enough to get over the hump. In time, this will be nothing more than a small blip on the radar... Hugs and positive energy to ya.

 

it sucks when you think about a relationship as a waste of time, but that is the worst way to view the situation. it was probably enjoyable most of the time, and all relationships, well for most people, are trial and error; in order to see if two people are truly compatible. i'm guessing you are still in school so you are fairly young, you haven't wasted much time, you just gained a life experience that will impact your future.

he might be acting out more lately just to push you away

i'm not one for relationship advice but love yourself, focus on school and friends and wait for the next great guy who adores you!

 

ethan sounds like a douche....stop bangin him

 

Yeah, it's too bad, but I lost a lot of my friends because of him (whether they didn't like him or because they hit on him). I dislike this thought, he did make my life better and he made me a better person is a lot of ways. It's disappointing that this is what it comes to. No way was my time with him a waste of time. I would have given him everything, but he needed to experience different things I guess... I just wish I wasn't at the short end of it all.

Thank you for responding.

 

Be free

 

He has his moments... and I guess I am going to stop... gonna have to find a new fuck buddy :9

 

That's what I did after my last relationship.

 

I guess that's what everyone has to do after their last relationship

 

Sounds crappy. I have to admit I acted a bit like that in a relationship once, and I have felt awful about it ever since.

But I made it a propriety to be great friends with her again, and we are and I can't help feeling that maybe I made a big mistake. Point is, someday he will stop his partying and wish he had somebody to invest in him.

Either way, yeah, get another people to screw around with. You may like him more than you care to, but there's always someone better out there for you- somebody who appreciates you for what you are.

 

I think that's what I always hoped would happen. I imagine him having his fun while I am his best friend who will always be there for him, hoping that eventually he'll realize he loves me more than his other relationships or parties, etc.

It's a fantasy that I'll think of from time to time, but he's moving on, so for the time being, I'll try to as well. He sure is one hell of a guy though. Maybe we'll want the same thing some day.

 

A bit off topic but I love the bees in your signature picture, so cute!

 

I think it's important that you don't take this personally. It seems like the man isn't ready to settle down, and he's in fact moving in order to follow his own path. This has nothing to do with you not being good enough. The catch 22 here is that he might regret it later, but if he doesnt do it, he will remain unhappy and eventually resent you.

About the parties, that's not cool of him, but hang tight, a silver lining to him moving out is that you will be able to have peace and quiet whenever you want.

All that being said, grieving does suck. Me and my girl decided to separate 2 weeks ago and I feel like complete shit. I don't really have any advice for that part, except maybe don't try to ignore it. Be sad, dont panic, try to stay as rational as possible.

Good Luck.

 

I agree with Shivaya. He's not ready to settle down and he has to find his own path. I did this once when I was with someone...I needed the freedom and felt like I should be out meeting new people and trying new things. In the relationship, I was so tied down to him and I felt restricted.

The fact that he can't respect your wishes and he's being immature about the parties means you don't deserve him anyway. Good luck and take this time to learn about yourself and maybe find someone that will treat you right.

 

i don't think anyone here can say how "ready" he is for anything when we haven't heard from him in over a year.

also, the thread title reminded me of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-5-vKrJOvw"]YouTube - Theory Of A Deadman - Hate My Life + Lyrics

i'd really rather not think about that song ever again, so i'm alright if this thread dies swiftly.

 

You must have to bring this thread back up a year after it was done. :sunny:

 

Gee, thanks ha-ha.

Things have settled since then. We're still friends, but we are going our own ways. There is too much to see to think of settling so young. I think things ended up for the best

Thanks, everyone. I think more choice has been good for the both of us!

 

Good luck.

 

Hahahahaha here I am trying to give advice without realizing this. LOL

 

I meant that like he doesn't deserve you haha! Not in the bad way