Here's the situation: My ex and I split up almost 2 years ago when my son was born. Since then, my ex has not seen my son more than a handful of times...maybe 5. When we split up we went to the courts to try and sort out custody/child support. He refused to sign the paperwork that would've gotten the ball rolling as far as meeting in court to discuss these issues. The prosecuting attorney has been looking for him for 2 years and still can't find him to serve him. Basically, my husband and I are stuck in a waiting game until my ex decides to either sign off his parental rights or try and fight me for custody. (Highly unlikely but ya never know.) Background on my ex: -Never held a job longer than 6 months -Does not have a permanent place of residence -Unreliable truck with no backseat for a car seat -Sells/grows weed (ALOT) -Emotionally unstable -Anger issues -Belittles children -Ignores responsibilities There's more but I don't need to bash on him to much, just want to state the facts why he is not a good person/influence for my son. Anyways, my question to you is: Have you ever been in this situation? (Custody battle) How did it turn out for you? Regrets? Things you would've done different? Do you honestly think the courts would give him a chance? Should I wait until more time goes by to further prove he is not interested in my son before I pursue finding him myself? Thanks in advance for the advice guys. More than anything I just want someone random to talk this out with. All of my friends seem untrustworthy. Oh, and if you need more background info on our situation let me know.
Btw, I swear I'm not a knieving (however you spell that) bitch, I just want what's best for my son and that's for my ex to be completely out of his life. My son already has a wonderful daddy (my husband) and we just want to start our lives without constantly worrying about what/who's lurking behind the corner.
Well I've never been in that situation before, but it sounds like your ex is blowing off all responsibility for your son. I doubt the courts would ever take him from his natural mom, they usually dont like to do that.
you conniving bitch LOL.. he is handing you 'full and final' custody on a platter....get a fucking lawyer...or fire the old one...exe doesnt need to be in court..he will be classed as a no show...serve the papers baby....I have full and final on my son...his mom was a no show also....make sure the court date is on a monday morning haha....good luck
Phew, that makes me feel a LITTLE better. We don't have a lawyer yet bc nothing has actually been done. They have to serve him the papers before they can go any further. They just can't find the SOB. Yes, monday morning!
From what you have stated I am going to assume that he is not paying child support. I question why they have not attached any assets or wages and why you have not pursued this through court. If he works, owns a vehicle, gets social programs, he can be found. They can track him through his drivers license. The courts today hesitate big time to sever any parents rights, even those who have not seen their child in a long time in a physical sense. Unless he signs off you will have a long process to sever the rights and you also must show grounds. You do not have any based upon the things you listed, because he is an idiot or lazy is not grounds. At any point in time it is his right to have visitation. All he has to do is appeal to any court and it will be granted. With his track record he would not be able to get custody but visitation is his right and also the right of your child. You chose this person to have a child with and with hindsight it may have been a poor choice but that does not mean that this child does not have the right in the future to know his actual father. He has done nothing to actually harm this child and instead is just absent from his life. I personally would not want to have to explain years from now to my kids why I felt I had the right to sever that legal tie. That is a tough sell.
in most juristdictions there is guidelines that MUST be followed to try and locate the bio-dad...such as placing ads for x amount of days in the news paper...mailing the documents to all known previous addresses and relatives...a lawyer in your area will know this info but it is available free at most social services offices
From what you have stated I am going to assume that he is not paying child support. I question why they have not attached any assets or wages and why you have not pursued this through court. If he works, owns a vehicle, gets social programs, he can be found. They can track him through his drivers license. Everything he does is "off the books". He makes sure of this. And I haven't pursued it bc I don't know where to start. I've tried talking with lawyers and they all say I have to wait until he is served. (No, he doesn't pay child support yet.) The courts today hesitate big time to sever any parents rights, even those who have not seen their child in a long time in a physical sense. Unless he signs off you will have a long process to sever the rights and you also must show grounds. You do not have any based upon the things you listed, because he is an idiot or lazy is not grounds. I know, that's what I'm worried about, I don't have any physical proof he is doing the things he's doing. At any point in time it is his right to have visitation. All he has to do is appeal to any court and it will be granted. With his track record he would not be able to get custody but visitation is his right and also the right of your child. You chose this person to have a child with and with hindsight it may have been a poor choice but that does not mean that this child does not have the right in the future to know his actual father. He has done nothing to actually harm this child and instead is just absent from his life. And in the future I will not have a problem with discussing it with my child, I just don't want him around him while he's impressionable, if that makes any sense. I personally would not want to have to explain years from now to my kids why I felt I had the right to sever that legal tie. That is a tough sell.
No disrespect to you but that is not really your call. Just like it is not the call of all parents who are separated and do not always agree with what their ex partners do or say. All kids that come from divorced parents are impressionable. That does not mean that you should or have the right to then decide that they should have nothing to do with the children. If he is served and he does go to court he will have visitation.
Provided it's not around the kid, I don't think selling weed or growing weed is bad, at all. But the rest doesn't sound ideal.
