I'm a kinky lesbian pro-domme with what amounts to an identity crisis. About a year ago I began having sexual feelings for one of my male clients and recently I acted on them. I don't know why I feel like I want to have sex with him - especially since if it was found out it would severely injure my girlfriend (we have been in an open relationship for two years); evict me from my communities; and alienate my friends. The only person I have managed to be honest with in all of this is the guy who in turn has been very clear and supportive. His suggestion is that I stop trying to take care of everyone else and worrying and to just enjoy the present. He thinks that is the only way I will relax enough to figure out what I am doing and why anyway. That coming clean (esp in my communities) would only hurt me unnecessarily if what I am going thru amounts to a curiosity. He has pointed out that he is not young or naive and that as long as we are honest with each other about where we are when we figure it out that it's fine. We've separated the sex from the kink as well. I am going to put things with my girlfriend on hold. Knowing would devastate her and keeping it from her is unfair to her as well. I also feel that if I am doing just about the only thing that would bother her that perhaps I am trying to push her away for some reason. Like any couple we have our strengths and weaknesses. Being cheated on when you are in an open relationship is fucked up...no one deserves that. I'm open to hearing any feedback or suggestions. If you need any more information just let me know too. Misty
you're in an open relationship? then why didn't you just tell your partner? would she be that upset that you might be bi instead of completely gay?
Yes, she would go ballistic and I couldn't really blame her. I would be devastated if I perceived that a woman left me for a man. Even if I was trying to stay with her she would feel this way. Bi women are really looked down upon in the gay community. I have not been one of those that feel that way about them but I see it all around me. She likes to fuck men in the butt with her strap-on. I actually am pretty sure that she also gives oral and titty jobs as well. I don't ask because she seems to feel uncomfortable with me asking questions about it and she isn't having unprotected sex so I really don't care one way or another anyhow. So there may be a double-standard here but even if there is, I can't turn this around on her. I'm the one at fault here. I'm also not attracted to other guys.
Its funny how it changes over time. In my 'college' days, couldnt really give a crap if they were also doing girls, my attitutide then was pfft, no competition, more annoyed at the crap you get from the straights. 20 years later, over time you end up getting more crap up front from the bi's then the straights, straights will just say stupid things, where as the bi's will DO stupid things, usually of course when no one else is watching - get angry at you cos for some strange reason you are not honoured to come back and help him bang the wife. Members of your community will get a whole lot of stuff that you or others may never see. Its about the trail, if the rumours get out that one of your gang does guys as well, then some may suffer for it more than others. Especially if you are dom, aggressive, rather intimidating gay gal, you wont experience much of guys propositioning you for a threesome, but your more submissive girly sisters will, and of course those guys usually never have the balls to do it when anyone else is around, and likley those girls will just let it go rather than telling you for fear you might end up getting yourself in an assault charge. I'd advise if you are continue with this guy, best to keep it secret. But some of your gang will still be able to tell. Some of their instincts may no doubt work better than yours. One of two may even be able to smell him on you for example - even though you cant cos you are used to the smell
