Honesty feels really good

Honesty is something I've been "practicing" more of lately. Not that I was ever a horrible liar or anything (though I was a salesman for a few years).

But you know those times in life where you're sort of painted into a corner and you feel that you're forced to lie? That's a shitty feeling.

You're "forced" to lie so as to avoid telling someone the truth because you know that the truth will either hurt them or piss them off. You have to outweigh the morality of not hurting someone's feelings, thus lying in the process being forced to do something you don't want to do, and weighing that against telling the truth and risk hurting or upsetting somone.

But doesn't a good friend, brother, sister, lover, father, mother, tell you the truth?

I've been super, blatantly honest lately whenever speaking or being asked something, just to see how people react. It feels really good. It's an incredibly freeing feeling. I think I actually feel lighter. It's not even that it's good karma, if you believe in karma, it just plain feels good.

There's nothing concealed that won't be revealed, and nothing hidden that won't be made known...

 

I find myself constantly volleying back and forth on this issue.

There are many situations in which people don't want the truth, and to me, it becomes rather questionable whether it is selfish or not to give them the truth.

And then there are some people that just aren't good with the truth, can't handle it, don't want to handle it; I have one of those in my life. And depending on the situation, I feel it can be rather rude not to let them have their bubble.

Respect for their philosophy and lifestyle.

 

Exactly Duck, that's how I see it. Many don't want the truth, it is too disturbing to their scope of reality. Am I a bad person to "force" the truth on such a person, or do I allow my respect of their ignorance to "force" me to lie?

I can't answer that question at this point.

To be honest I have yet to encounter a situation in which the truth could really rattle somebody. I don't know what I will do when that happens.

But I have to respect my own philosophies and my own morality. I shouldn't be forced to adopt that of another so as to spare them the figurative light and allow them to live in the dark simply because things look better to them that way.

On the other hand, what kind of person forces their opinion of the truth on another?

 

I used to have a problem with lying. It started out I would lie to spare someones feelings, but those small lies can metastasize pretty quickly. After a while I realized sometimes I wasn't even sure when I was lying and when I was telling the truth. Sometimes a lie would roll out as easily as the truth, even when it wasn't neccessary to spare someone's feelings. I would get caught in lies too because I would forget if I told someone the truth or a lie.

I stopped myself before I became a complete pathological liar. That was a few years ago, and my life has been so much simpler since then. Its much easier in the long run to hurt someone's feelings a little bit than to lie. People can be surprisingly understanding with even the harshest truths, but nobody likes a liar.

I've never admitted to anyone that I was on the road to becoming a pathological liar. It feels good to be honest about that

 

I often question this when talking about media with someone. I have in the past shattered people's illusions about stuff they liked and felt bad afterwards. I always have to measure how critical I should be and how candid I should be of my opinion as to not spoil things for people.

With christianity, it's easy, because they already force their opinions on the masses; but with the little things, it's hard; and with personal matters, I rarely speak up.

 

I have this habit of saying exactly what I mean anywhere ,anytime to anybody. I never have to worry about having to think back about something I said to make SURE of what I said. Got me in some trouble a few times during the Viet Nam war when stating my opinion around vets. But I can handle trouble. It is freedom,no doubt.

 

I really appreciate everybodies input here.


Still though I wrestle with the idea;

A person who lies all the time is likely considered a bad person.

But what about a person who tells the truth all the time, even if it is at the "expense" of another's feelings. Sure, it makes someone honest, but does it not also make them callous?

Perhaps others are often too sensitive. This (too sensitive) is the conclusion I tend to lean towards.

 

I like people like that, straight shooters. They're easy to deal with, you know where you stand, and there's no bullshit.

 

Well,there is the factor of omission of opinion. If one is not asked--one does not get tit in wringer. However if one is asked--insert tit and take pain.

 

I'm about as sensitive as they come, but I would still much rather hear the truth.

Break ups are a great example to use here - everyone always tries to cushion a break up. "Its not you, its me." "I'm just in a difficult place in life right now." "I'm not ready for a relationship." etc, etc..

Hearing these lies leaves the other person wondering for months, sometimes years what the real reason was. If a person is actually honest during a break up it might make the other person feel like absolute shit for a few weeks, but then they can properly move on with their lives without any lingering questions.

 

I like being honest and not having things on my conscience, but it seems when I have nothing to worry about and become bored and depressed... I was actually thinking about this earlier today.

"I rather feel pain then nothing at all"

personally say when I steal, I don't like the anxiety of are they gonna find out... but today I was feeling empty.. so im not sure.

 

Hard call sometimes. While lying is not an answer either sometimes simple discretion is an option.

I have known someone who prided themselves on being brutally honest. The only thing is that was also self serving and generally only made them feel self important.

Perhaps the intent behind the brutal honesty is the kicker.

 

honesty feels ok, fleece feels really good.

 

I made a girl cum 9 times in one night once.

Honesty does feel good

 

Honestly, people look at the honest as though they had two heads, they are hard to comprehend, appearing, counter intuitive.

 

I made a girl go for the rest of my life.

 

Why you gotta bring lies into the honesty thread?

 

I don't understand how someone can, in the same breath, speak of respecting someone, and lying to them...

Reverse it... If someone lies to you, witholds the truth from you, or misleads you and you find out... do you feel respected? Do you feel loved?

Stop and think about some of the things that have been said in this thread... (and in others like this)... If you care about someone, sometimes you lie to them... Sometimes it is better to not tell the truth... There are times when it is better to lie then hurt someone...

When someone lies to you, doesn't it hurt, doesn't it feel disrespectful? Does it really matter why they say they lied to you when you find out? Why would you do it to someone else... ESPECIALLY someone that you say you love, care about and respect?

When you lie to someone to protect them, what you are saying, is; "You are too stupid to handle the truth, so I will keep it from you... If I had more respect for you and thought you could handle it, I would tell you the truth. Seems I don't though, here is some bullshit to occupy your feeble mind while the truth goes by you..."

 

That is, she hasn't returned yet

 

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