Pretty rough, 4-30-2011 Homosexuality in America Two guys hold hands, two girls kiss Their hearts a flutter, they wonder, could it possibly get any better than this? Men bow their heads for prayer in a room in the South The circle prays for an end to temptation together through one's mouth A Protestant preacher leads a double life at night Picking up young boys downtown to cheat on his wife Some gays find their desire, while other suppress it Some may struggle all their lives; trying to fight who they are inside While others, lie dead; through hatred and bloodshed Not because they did anything wrong, but because they disobeyed some christian's goD. edit: Oh, and feel free to comment about anything this poem is about.
To be honest I felt that the reference to the south was a little cliche and unnecessary. Same with the reference to a preacher. Though those two examples do have relevance, they didn't do much to highlight the idea of homosexual oppression/freedom you were getting at. I understand the reference to division. Maybe because it was quick I wasn't sure what you were trying to say. I understand that homosexuals face oppression, I just wasn't sure what your poem was stating I guess. I did appreciate it though.
I can see where you're coming from; originally this played out much different in my mind, and I was going to imply that by the South, I really meant the darker depths of the human mind, and the second stanza was going to be a family praying for a relative's salvation When I was actually writing it, well, you see what came out. Aside from being cliche (which I can see), this is roughly the sort'f reaction I was going for. I might illuminate my full feelings a little more later. The first three stanzas and their contrast are really important and the ending one may do them a little injustice.. hm...
Oh, and an aside, I just read your poem after I posted this, but wanna reread it and see if I can think of anything to say at another time, cause I was fully empty.
i give 200 kudos points to straight people that give thought to the subject. its not something anyone thinks of everyday. or almost any day for that matter. and for that i feel bad saying this, i don't want to sound spiteful, apathetic, or hypocritical, i dont mean to, but i think the poem may be a lil vague. going into a specific circumstance would add more power. some circumstances can be about femininity, masculinity, self-worth, social pressure, parents, etc.
I think that is a great point, and that lunar was kinda getting at it as well. I don't think I'm straight, anyways. I just identify as it cause I haven't been field tested =P But whether I am or not, gay rights have always been an issue real close to my heart. I'm a romantic and I see anti-gay sentiment as an attack on love itself. (Which is sorta the focus of the first stanza)
I find this line syllabically cumbersome. I'm with Kyle on the kudos points. 200 more from me. I'm hoping to write a slam soon about cross-dressing. Awareness FTW
