Womens' equality

Greetings. I am all for equal pay for equal work but do you guys really want to live with a woman who wants to be treated like a man? I am from the UK, presently living in Indonesia. Came here 8 years ago and met and married a fantastic local girl. Eight years of total happiness with never a fight or even an argument. Let me tell you that the culture here is totally different from that in the West. My wife wakes up with a smile that never leaves her. In eight years I have never known her to be in a bad mood. Even on the few occasions that we have fallen off the motorbike into the mud, she is still laughing and giggling. She is intent on being treated like a women. In bed, she doesn't like to have her head higher than mine, wanting to feel that I am big, strong and protective. She will instigate wrestling matches to assure herself that I am stronger than she is. She devotes her life to making me happy and of course I recipricate, never taking her for granted. No, she is not a doormat, just a really caring person. When we first met, she would precede me when leaving someone's house to turn my sandals around so that I would not have to bend down and do it. When I told her that I didn't expect her to do that she replied, "Please don't stop me from doing something that shows that I love you." To this day, she still does it. Could never have found anyone like her in the UK. So, if that's the type of girl that you would like to end up with, head this way.
Ok girls, I am ready for your hate mail.

 

Personally, I do not wish to be treated like a man-just equal to.

 

I expect to be treated as an equal, not superior to or inferior to anyone regardless of gender

 

It's a cultural thing. Equality really is more mental-based than action-based in my opinion. So when something like the turning around of the sandals is exercised by a female, in certain cultures, that's simply how things are done. It doesn't necessarily mean they aren't treated badly. I think this type of thing is often seen especially in Asian cultures. As long as they are treated well, they are often happy to be walking a step behind you rather than side by side.

Although, I myself would prefer if my partner was walking side by side with me, lol. xD And I personally believe equality shouldn't mean treating women like you would treat men. I don't think that's necessarily sensible in my opinion. Women tend to have a slightly different way of dealing with things compared to the way men do...generally speaking. I believe in gender equality but gender equality in my view still holds respect for the sexuality and characteristics of the opposite sex.

 

lmao, that's the funniest thing I've heard this week.

 

This is probably something to take into consideration, but these words that she said,

indicate it's not about the custom necessarily. I know for my boyfriend, and lover, that there are things I do for him (all the time too) that indicate my love in small ways. Not because the task I do indicates love, but because it's something I wouldn't do for anyone else (in some cases I might do similar things for friends that I love, but now I'm rambling). Women want to be treated like royalty (not necessarily indicative of money) by their man-well many do- and my love for my boyfriend is so strong, that I think he deserves the same treatment. I don't know man, I haven't fought with my boyfriend once in our 8 months of dating, and for me that is rare. I think love (friendly or romantically) can elicit and perpetuate these random acts of kindness.

I say good for you OP, glad you found what you needed

 

comparing men and women is like comparing apples and oranges, no?

i think what you have sounds great, i'm old school - i can't be dealing with chicks with dicks or a girl asking me to get emotional.

 

Yeah, that is true. Love is a universal thing, and no matter which culture you're from, I think one of the major ways you express it is through your hospitality... But then, in my opinion, with love added into the equation, it is no longer simply a gensture of "hospitality"; it becomes a gesture of love. Sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with your boyfriend. I'm very happy to hear that.

As for the section of what OP said that you quoted... I think it DOES go back to the cultural thing a bit too, though. I've lived within both western and Asian cultures myself so I know the general difference between the two when it comes to relationships. The whole "ladies first" concept, based on my experience, is more western than Asian. It is more common for Asian women to be more hospitable toward men than western women are, generally speaking. In many Asian cultures, women still play the more submissive role. That doesn't mean they are treated poorly. The OP's wife is a prime example. But it's still part of their societal expectations in a way.

Religion also seems to have something to do with it, too. It's like the Islamic culture. From an outsider's perspective, Muslim women may NOT be treated equally. That may be so, and in some cases they may even be downright abused. But even Muslims are against abuse, which has been something made clear to me through talking to all of my Muslim friends. Just like with the western counterpart, there are those who are treated well within their own cultural environment, too. Different cultures have different ways of expressing love sometimes. But if both parties can find happiness in their relationship, "equality" may not play as important a role as some may expect it to.

In the case of the OP's wife, chances are she would have been almost as hospitable toward some other guy, had the OP never entered her life. She could have met someone who wasn't as gentlemanly, and quite possibly, she still would have "turned the sandals around" for him. Many Asians are unique like that. I'm happy for both the OP and his wife, because the OP sounds like a very loving and grateful husband to have been happily married to a lady who sounds like a very loving and grateful wife.

Blah, this turned into a bit of a messy post, lol. Pardon moi... xD

 

Great for you. You have a happy relationship from what we know and a wife who likes to be submissive in the bedroom and likes you being manly. Congratulations. Now get on with being happy with it and don't worry about what anyone else does with their private life.

I too can be bedroom submissive, and I also do little things to show my partner that I love him. But he also does little things for me, and I fail to see exactly where gender comes in here unless you've got things a bit twisted in your head. Every person is different. Some women are bedroom dominant naturally, and that is fine. Some men are more comfortable with a headstrong woman. Really, it doesn't matter which gender does what as long as there is equal mutual respect and both parties are truly happy with what they do and how they're treated.

I have to say the shoe thing reeks a bit of the extreme, and the fact that you see this as a gender issue rings alarm bells for me.

 

U.S. Guvment Certified Trolling (USGCT).

 

My personal tastes prefer someone who is just as intellectually competitive as I am, but intelligent enough to realize that having a "superior" in a relationship is redundant and cooperation is essential.

I mean, I'd like a woman who doesn't want to just be a regular wife by modern standards, but rather someone who will take opportunities and try to lend humanity a helping hand through work, science, or what have you.

However, I CAN'T STAND women who feel they have some kind of "right" to be superior than men. They don't try to be superior to other people, they claim that they want to be superior to just men. It's obviously a vendetta spawned from some narrow-minded cultural intolerance they've developed. I don't make it my life's goal to be superior to women.

 

I just like women. Hell with the rest of it.

 

Best answer.

 

But how do you like your women, Scratcho? Dominant? Submissive? A shoe picker upper or a ball breaker?

 

Equality isn't a huge deal to me only because I am mentally and emotionally stronger than most men I know. 9 times out of 10, I'm wearing the pants in my relationship and I don't mean for it to be that way...I was just raised to be a strong and independent woman.

I've dated plenty of guys who couldn't handle that. They needed someone more submissive and quiet and honestly, someone dumber than I am. To each his own in my opinion

 

Sense of humor,loyal,empathetic,sense of fairness that is returned in kind.No doms-no subs. Just a good person. I have always liked women better than men,anyway. And another thing --you women smell good. Looks don't matter--it's what's in the heart. Guess I did have some qualifications after all. I can tell a ball breaker from a mile away--and that's exactly the distance I will keep them. And the description exactly fits my friend I stay with when I go back to California to work. Oh yeah---smart and good conversationally.

 

I love women who state that they are strong and independent. They never are either. People who are strong and independent have a confidence in them. It never occurs to them to say they are strong and independent.

 

I like a feminine woman. I am attracted to girls. I have no time for the career woman. I have never met one who understands balance. Without balance she will never treat me as an equal. She will be too busy keeping score. Equal is a two way street. Compromise is never 50/50. Relationships are a balancing acts that are never level. Someone is always getting more then giving. It should go back and forth like that. If you as a woman understand and agree with what I just said, you understand what equality is and may be worth the effort.

 

Ya can’t have two bulls one has to be the cow

 

Man and Women are Unequal.....