Smokes a lot of cigarettes. She is 59 and has been smoking since she was 19. It is difficult to breathe inside her house. There is not a lot of ventilation and she chain smokes inside constantly. The only time she isn't smoking is when she's working, and even then she gets a smoke break every two hours. Anytime she does something outside of the house, she gets irritable if she isn't able to smoke a cigarette every 30 minutes or so. She's probably more addicted to cigarettes than anyone else I've ever seen. I generally have a pretty live and let live attitude, but its difficult to ignore all the negative health consequences when it involves my mom. My siblings and I worry constantly, but she gets defensive whenever we bring it up. I understand addiction, particularly cigarette addiction, and I know there is essentially nothing I can say because she has to want to quit. Still, its hard to watch. Sometimes she looks really frail and I know she has the type of stoic personality to suffer silently through any bad illness without telling anyone. I just don't really know what to do but it worries me.
That's how my mom is She's got emphazema or w/e and nodules on her lungs and just recently began complaining that her boss fucked up her insurance and now rather than needing to pay a copay, she has to pay for half of all her perscriptions (rather than all cuz we're poor) but still.. just her advair is going to be almost 150$ a month and she 'doesn't know how to solve this problem' um duh, stop fucking smoking
Its fucking ridiculous! Emphesema scares the shit out of me. What bugs me the most is if she quit, after the hard part would come a vastly improved quality of life. How the hell do you convince a lifelong smoker of that?
it sucks...my dad quit everything bad for 6 months and then decided he was more miserable than ever before in his life so he went back to smoking and moderately heavy drinking..he had a stroke and died 30 days after my son was born...your mom is from a different generation where the flintstones advertised winstons and cig companies specifically targeted people like your mom....she will likely never quit ,but if you can convince her? great!...just make sure you dont spend your moms last few years arguing with her...maybe start by getting her to agree to a 1 hour discussion each week about smoking as long as you agree to not discuss it the rest of the week...thats an hour of solid debate guaranteed every week as opposed to fighting about it
this is a great idea. Honestly all I want is one hour, period. She gets so defensive that we've been hesitant to even ask her for one hour to talk about it.
i dont want to brag...but i thought of that while composing that post....i hate that i smoke and and am working on it..1 pack of 20 regular size every 3 days
its something i struggle with too. I have a love/hate relationship with cigarettes, although lately its been leaning closer to hate. I quit for the 7437393973.76th time two months ago. I've had maybe 3 since then but didn't enjoy them at all. I kept saying I was going to put down cigarettes forever whenever my mom quit, but I just got tired of waiting for her to quit.
My husband was a very heavy smoker for many years. He was a truck driver and sort of smoked for 'company' whilst on the road, his mates were the same. It got to the point where he was practically chain smoking, not realising he'd just put one out and reaching for another. He wouldn't give up, not even when the kids asked him, so we compromised and he smoked outside. Last year he died of stroke and I'm sure smoking was a contributing factor. Once a person stops smoking it takes 15 years to get their body back to that of a non-smoker. Makes you think, is it worth it?
my mom is dead...she died when i was 6... .. whenever you are with her, try once to make your point against smoking - - keep trying with all your heart to make your case, to say what's in your heart.. and that is all you can do... my dad smokes out of control,- i know, it is fucking insane how rough he smokes..- i just do what i can, express yourself fully when you are together - - but eventually you have to accept the limitations of your expression.... sometimes acceptance is hardest!
The cigarettes might be the only thing keeping her alive, by which I mean the stress of stopping smoking after so many years might finish her off. Get off her case, she's made her choices - She's a grown woman who's brought you up, she really doesn't need to be hassled over her lifestyle by her own offspring. She's your mother - Enjoy your time with her and don't make her feel guilty about her pleasures. Judgemental (disguised as concerned) little shite.
excuse me? who exactly is being judgemental here? I'm not on her case, at all. Ever. And I'm not judgemental either. I know what its like to be addicted to cigarettes. I know what its like to feel like cigarettes are a friend. Quitting smoking wouldn't finish her off. Thats ridiculous logic. Emphysema and lung cancer kills people. Doing things to correct a physically destructive habit will only improve one's quality of life. I don't want to watch her suffer, and smoking inevitably leads to suffering. Smoking related illnesses are not fun and they generally last a long time. I started this thread because I wanted to know if anyone had any ideas as to how to bring up her habit without hassling her. Hassling her is the last thing I wish to do, so perhaps you should not judge a situation which you know nothing about. little shite.
There aren't any ways to bring up her habit without hassling her - I'm sure she's weighed up the pros and cons at least once during her venerable 59 years. And if you don't want the situation to be judged, why post about it on the internet? For heavens sake - Just be glad I'm too much of a nice person to pull you up over the "about" that should appear between the words "situation" and "which" in the final sentence of your paragraph. Honestly, I may come across as a wanker here, but god almighty, your mum smokes - Big deal, is that the biggest problem you've got?
Actually, yeah. That literally is the biggest problem I have. I have a great life. I would like my mom to stick around and be part of my fantastic life for as long as possible. She's my best friend and I love her and I don't ever want to see her suffer as a result of something that is self-induced. I don't care if the situation is judged but don't be hypocritical about it. Don't call me a judgemental little shite when you're actually the one being a judgemental little shite. Give yourself a pat on the back, dude. Pretending not to be a grammar nazi while really being a grammar nazi makes you a really great person.
Yeah alright, fair play on the grammar nazi, you got me there, too-shay (however it's spelt). Honestly though, if the fact that your ma smokes really is the biggest problem you have to contend with (and I really don't see it as a problem, smoking won't necessarily kill her, but one thing's for sure, your mam's gonna cark it), then shit, worry about something that matters - There's car fumes, fuck-knows-what pollution in the water table, Chernoble fallout and short sighted mugs can only bleat about smoking. I'm genuinely sorry I'm coming across as such a dick (coz I can see I am), but I really can't couch this in any other terms than - Get some real problems. And that sounded patronising as fuck didn't it? Sorry, but I stand by it. And what I meant about the judgemental gig was that you shouldn't judge yer mam for a habit she's had for probably longer than you've been alive (can one be dislexic at maths? I reckon I am). The point I'm trying to make is that I see no contradiction or hipocrisy in my judging you for you judging or disapproving or being concerned of/about her smoking. Anyway, having said all that, I hope you and your mam enjoy many more happy years together, and well, can I just say that I reckon it's great that you and your mam are best friends?
touche with one of those funny little french accents. I worry about plenty of issues that effects people on a large scale, trust me. I do understand what you mean, though. You're being callous towards me for the same reason that I'm callous towards people that have comfy, easy lives but complain constantly about being depressed and anxious. Its creating problems where problems don't really exist. I know I should focus on spending time with my mom now, but I just can't stand the thought of her suffering from her heavy smoking one day. I don't think you can just go out and "get" real problems. I think real problems have to find you, yes? Until then I'm perfectly content living my relatively easy life. I'm not judging her. I just don't want her to suffer in the future. for a grammar nazi, that sentence was a huge cluster fuck :sunny: thanks. That was a pretty nice thing to say, coming from a wanker.
