Swingers/those in open relationships -- how'd you get started?

How did you get started?
Were you a monogamist? Was/were your partner(s)?
What caused your interest?
How was the transition, or early experiences?
Was it a hard decision for you and your partner(s)?

Anything at all please

 

well I was cheating on my wife for a few years with guys and got outed.

After a spell we tried visiting a swinger's club and meeting another bi-guy there. She was not keen at first - was only going along with it for me, but found that she liked it, esp the 3-sum.

I think once you've been married a good while it cna be good to open up and experiment - just need to put ground rules in place between the two fo you as to what is allowed between each other, and that you are the primary partnership. That doesn't mean that these rules can't change, you just need to re-discuss.

Good luck,

Simon:sunny:

 

Haven't been here in a while but for me it all started when I met my g/f... she was so sexy and always wanting sex. She was a virgin but was always talking about being desperate to start having sex and how she had made out with many guys and they all went as far with her to the point of having her stripped down and then they'd back out at last minute and leaving her all hanging. She would tell me all this when we were friends but I thought her desperation was sexy. The thought of so many guys having taken this beautiful girl so far was hot. Eventually after being good friends for a while and I took her virginity, I thought she would continue to go out with guys afterward so I prepared myself not to get attached for when I saw her with oher guys.

Time passed and she was actually not going around with others... I continued with the thoughts of her being promiscuous and thought it was very hot. At 16 I was honest with her and told her it really turned me on and thought of seeing her with other guys as being my fantasy, After coming clean with her, I told her that if she wanted some freedom to go to parties with out me or simply go on dates with other guysl I'd be fine as long as she's honest and upfront.

3 years later at 19 she finally took the plunge with a guy she met at work, he was a customer who spent a little extra time there talking to her. She liked him and decided to bring up the topic by asking me if I remember what I suggested a long time ago... all this with a little smile on her face. She then explained that she met a guy she'd like to finally try the idea I suggested.

After she had sex for the first time with someone other than myself, she started getting more and more comfortable talking to other guys as well as making this a normal activity in our lives. She didnt' even need to ask me anymore, we got to the point where I didnt meet the guys anymore or she would just text she was either coming late or not coming home. We both got adjusted and both like the lifestyle.

 

You know my story, don't you?

 

Mostly.

I'm not sure how you met your boyfriend, but I understand that your husband suggested it after seeing your chemistry together.

 

Well, my husband introduced us. He and my husband had just purchased some real estate in partnership. Before him I had always had eyes only for my husband and I was the least likely person to have an extramarital affair.

 

Amyoxl, are you still with your boyfriend?

 

Yes, though I don't get to see him as often as I would like

 

We're in more of a closed relationship than an open one.

He's not that into the idea and I'm not that into the way people usually do it.

I still think we should have a set of rules so if we wanted to use them we could without having to feel guilty and or confess. But in all honesty I don't really want us to be screwing other people.

We've only flirted with it (mostly me). I've had other girls feel his body and butt. I once tounge kissed a gay guy while straddling both of them.

 

What do you mean by this?

 

Yeah good question.

That doesn't make much sense because I have no idea how people usually do it. There's probably so much variety that there is no mainstream.

I do think that the things I'm interested in might be a little odd and not interesting to anyone but me.

 

Your just causing me to ask more questions!

You can PM me if there's some reason you don't want to divulge in public, but I just have to know what kinds'a things you mean!

 

No man, I don't keep anything to myself on HF.

For instance, I like to get touched and felt up but I'm not ready to venture too far into sexual contact outside of my relationship. I just enjoy a little stimulation like we've done in the past.

I's love another girl to touch him and tease him and get him all raging like he's gonna taste some new pussy for the first time but then release him to me all teeming with his desire for her.

Nobody likes a tease, but since I'm timid about sexual contact, I don't know how any outsider's gonna get their rocks off.

Maybe if another couple was interested in just teasing and turning each other on before splitting off for our separate romps, but I assume most swingers are too experienced and kinky to waste their time testing boundaries with us.

 

This is something I'd consider trying, but the thought of having an open relationship sort of scares me. I dunno, maybe its because I was cheated on. If we discussed it and it was something we'd both like to try then maybe.

I give credit to those who are comfortable enough in themselves and their sexualities to do it, though. I definitely don't want any secrets with my boyfriend, so if it were something that could keep our communication in tact and make us both happy, then I'd consider it.

 

That actually sounds sooooo fucking erotic, kissing and making out with another couple but with no intention of going all the way - just to turn up the heat. Deliciously dangerous!

How far would you go, I wonder? How far is too far? What if it got so good that you couldn't forestall orgasm (without intercourse)? What if it got too good to turn back?

 

lovelyxmalia and amyoxl
Thanks for putting my fears [that my fantasies would bore the pants off anyone other than me] to bed

(puns untended

 

I also think about having a guy that's like my personal trainer physical massage therapist just working out with me and handling me

[EDIT] ^^^ random thought... didn't mean to submit post

But as long as I'm on that road...

I would be happier than a pig in shit to meet a guy that was really into dryhumping

 

I love being rubbed through my jeans, I'd imagine it'd be even more fun pressing it b/w a cute girls legs dry humping in underwear is the best - tho it tends to never be totally dry

 

Have you thought about having another couple in your bed, making love next to you, with boundaries that would be comfortable for you? For instance, you might limit genital contact to your respective mates, but have lots of good sensual touch carrying the sexual energy between the couples. There is something about fucking my lover with others present that really turns me on, especially if the others are paying attention to us and sharing in our energy, and are generating energy of their own that we get to experience.

 

^i'm still mostly into the idea of teasing

it's been so long since i've kissed another man's trousers... *daydreaming* and i've never really had the freedom to touch and kiss another girl.

I don't know how many girls like to be horny as much as i do (i could be hot all day, not get any sexual release, and love it) I think me, with the right girl, could get each other really hot for our men...

Oh brain of mine, you have an awesome sex life imo :-D