I'm not sure if the correct term is "mental fixation" or "ridiculous obsession" but I'm definitely suffering from quite a strong bout of it. And the worst part is that it was inspired by a silly uninformed comment from an old schoolmate. She had said that recipients of welfare should be drug tested, but what really struck me was when she said that DFS should take away the children of those who are on drugs. Now, we all know that nothing is that simple and I should have just disregarded the comment altogether. Now, I don't care about this person in the least. In fact, I barely know her. And I honestly can see why she feels the way she feels. But her remark got so much popular support that I just cannot stop thinking about it. (My family was torn apart by a drug addict -but- I have very strong reasons to believe that things would have been much better if my brothers were NOT taken away by the state.) It really won't leave my mind. My thoughts endlessly circle about what she said and what would happen to other families like mine if her wishes came true. I toss and turn at night with an endless mental dialogue going on in my head between me and this woman. It's the first thing that I think about when I wake up. All day while I'm trying to work, I cannot stop thinking about my childhood and how wrong I felt this woman's sentiment to be. I thought that these wounds had healed a long time ago. This fixation and mental funk is now getting in the way of personal relationships. Why the hell can one comment (and a comment that I've heard before, even!) make me so miserable? Why can't I stop thinking about it? The past week has been filled with this mental dialogue - I cannot enjoy a single moment of respite. I don't have kids and I'm not addicted to anything but soda pop - so I don't think that my feelings are a result of guilt. What causes this kind of unexpected obsession? Is this related to my anxiety, or is this something else altogether? Have you ever developed a mental fixation? How did you overcome it? I feel like I have lost all control. I would greatly appreciate any kind of advice or personal stories about overcoming your own fixations. Thanks.
I don't think you have a "mental fixation". Your family was torn apart 'cause your brothers were taken away. A traumatic experience. This persons comment has brought up pain that has never healed. Understandable. If I were you I would talk to this person about their comment, calmly, and explain what sort of pain you went through when this happened in your life. I know myself, if I don't speak up, things will prey on my mind.
Some people make comments like that without considering that often times scenarios are not that black and white. Anyone can make a quick judgement of welfare recipients without ever really understanding their circumstance. It isn't until someone they know or they are forced into the situation that they are empathetic and more understanding towards others. It's easy for someone like her to make these harsh suggestions with clean hands. She's a fool. Some people are also just bags of dicks. I'm sorry that her stupidity has brought up painful memories for you. If it makes you feel better maybe reply to her comment about your experience. But don't expect her to change her mind. Some people are just as fixated on their own bullshit perspective.
I didn't think that the wounds were still that severe. I'm usually pretty good at getting over things. My brothers were gone for a few years, not forever - things certainly could have been worse. I just wish I could get that through to my shaky hands and uncooperative brain right now. I definitely get what you mean about unspoken words eating at you. I had that problem a lot in the past. I would have done so, but to explain the situation would take a rather lengthy discussion. I did bring up that nothing is so simple, but she (not understanding what addiction is like) basically just stuck with her guns. I don't really want to dignify her remarks with a look into my personal life if I don't have to, but I definitely will remember the suggestion. I'm not too proud to hit her up with a completely unexpected response weeks later if it will really help. And thanks for the words, wild-flowers! I definitely don't expect understanding from this person, which may sound intolerant on my part but it's true. She has her own struggles and a very limited world view, and I do understand why she would put her own "needs" first (the reason behind her statements were tax-related in the first place. I know, I know.) I definitely feel more comfortable after venting here and getting some feedback. I still cannot stop thinking about it, but at least the thoughts aren't as angry or miserable.
