ive found out who my roommates are for college in the fall and i was wondering if i should tell them or not... im not very open but i'd like to be open in college so i guess telling them right at the start would make that happen. i dont want it to be awkward though.... ive been talking to one of them (i have a 4 person suite, and ive met one of them online) through facebook for like a couple weeks and im not sure if i should just wait until we're actually living together, or if i should just tell her now to save myself from the trouble of her figuring it out/me having to tell her later. also it would be wayyyy easier to tell her online than in person.
I think you should tell them. I lived with 4 girls while in Alberta and became really close with one of them. We were both bisexual but afraid to tell the other girls. Well one night we all got ridiculously wasted and blurted it out and 2 of the 3 girls had no problem with it whatsoever. The 3rd never acted the same around us but whatever, I didn't like her anyway haha
They only problem with telling them online is they don't really know you for who you are yet and first impressions do mean a whole lot in this world to some people still. If you tell them now, online, they might come up with stereotypes about you and that's all they might think of. If you wait till they know you for who you are, instead of what they think you are, then they will realize you have been like that the whole time and nothing is going to change. Sure it might be harder to tell them but once you get to know them a little more and warm up to them you never know, it could be easier. Hope that makes sense..... haha
I think you should tell them, and you should make your decision based on what feels right for you, but if I may offer some input: I think you should tell them in person. And don't make it the first thing. Wait a few days, feel them out and find a good way to put it in conversation, don't just IM of FB message them, if I got a facebook message like that I would be a little weirded out. But in the end, you need to do what's right for you. Good luck!
Why say anything ? Just go to college and live with your roomies.You definitely don't need to hide your sexuality, but you don't need to blurt out I'M GAY either. Just be you, if you meet a guy and want to talk about it than do so, if they ask, then tell them. When i meet new people i don't go , 'OH and by the way I'm bisexual!' I don't see why sexuality has become such a defining feature in people. We're all human. But whatever will make you feel better than that's what you should do!
well one of them is conservative and catholic, and not to be stereotypical at all, but im a little nervous she wont like that im a lesbian...
i agree that you should tell them, but in person. especially if you're wanting to be more open about being gay in college, then i think your roommates would be a great place to start. like someone else said, don't make it the first thing... like a disclaimer, lol! like... oh, i'm a lesbian... just thought i should let you know in case you need to complain to the school that you need a new roommate but anytime you get more than 1 straight girl in a room, it's only minutes until the topic turns to guys and how to hook up with guys and dating and so on and so forth. so inevitably you'll have a nice, easy situation to slip in the fact that you date girls rather than guys. but you don't have to be defensive about it... just... "i prefer to date women." then you can let them know that you're willing to talk about any questions they might have, if they're curious and/or unfamiliar with lesbians. sounds like at least one of your roommates may not know that much about gay people. though don't write her off just because of how she was raised. i grew up catholic and conservative, and i'm as gay and non-traditional as they come. indoctrination doesn't always take.
It might be an idea to tell them before you are all together later in the year, as if it is a real problem to one of them, then they could (presumably) choose to be living elsewhere.
Get to know them first --- your sexuality shouldn't define you --- your personality should. Only after should you share with them, but honestly, they don't even have to know. They're not going to come out and tell you that they're straight. It took me a few months to tell my roommate. She was OK with it, but I think that if I had told her from the get-go it wouldn't have been the same.
THIS! Just be normal about it. You don't need to sit them down and have a big confession. The more we show people that being gay is normal the more it will be accepted. If one asks if you have a boyfriend casually say no, and that you don't have a girlfriend either. Then let it drop. (alternatively, get in first and ask if they have a boy or girlfriend) If someone points out a cute guy, say you couldn't really tell, or guys aren't really your thing or whatever. There is no need to make a big deal about it, but no need to hide yourself either. If someone has a problem with it, be surprised - make them look like they are overreacting.
I wouldn't say anything. It's no ones business but your own. Just live your life and if they find out on their own, no biggie.
If it's someone you have to interact with everyday and you plan on dating I would let them know ASAP. The sooner they know the less weird it will be for everyone.
