A guy in the street felt my arse today

A drunken football ned fuck came out of this dodgy pub as i was cycling into town and him and his mate were staggering along the street still drinking and being as obnoxious as they could get away with.

I nearly had a collision with one as I was cycling past this taxi, which wouldn't let them in the cab. I had to brake, and as I started to pedal away from the scene he went "wahay!" and felt my arse up a bit.

This caused me to miss the green light at the junction, and so I shouted back to him "hey thanks dick head now I have to wait for 5 minutes while the lights change again!"

I sort of then realised that I had to stand there while they walked past me again, and pondered the potential folly of my actions.

So I stood there trying to ignore them, and again dickhead walks past and feels my arse up. So I look jim square in the eyes and say "try that again mother fucker.,"

He then looked as though he was more than willing to match, if not trump my bluff of a bit of one on one male action in the street, so I backed down because (a) it would have ended up a scrap with me and two drunken neds in the middle of Haymarket at 4 o clock on a saturday afternoon, (b) all of us getting arrested and (c) me probably getting a bit of kicking/bottled.

 

So that's my story for the day. Celtic won the cup, and now the town is full of drunken arseholes fighting. For all of you who don't know just to fill you in on some background details here the manager of Celtic recently started to receive death threats from Prodestant Rangers supports, and the police intercepted nail bombs that were sent to him in the post. There's always been a bit of rivalry between the "Old Firm" but it's never descended into sectarian violence of Northern Ireland proportions like this before.

 

Drunken footy pricks don't half fuck me off.

My dad wouldn't take me to an old firm game as a kid because I was too young. Now I'm way into my 20s and he still says I'm too young. Damn footy hooligans! Sectarianism sucks

 

can I get an english translation please?

 

I believe it said something like, "I like soccer and getting my ass felt up", but I am kinda rusty.

 

Did you tip him, or is that an American thing?

 

I Thought He Meant To Say....I Like Soccer....I Like Big Rugged Soccer Lads..:love:

And The Reason I Didn't Just Ride Through The Red Light To Get Away,

Was To Give Him A Second Feel Of My Trim, Taunt, Tanned, And Toned Ass....



Cheers Glen.

 

Uh oh, what did I start...

 

the guy was being a bit of a nob jockey like, and was fucking lashed

 

he wanted his end away

 

you blokes are so barmy...especially when youre arseholed

you should have just let him touch your John Thomas you wobbler !!!

 

It's a beauty.... but I can promise sticker shock.

http://www.crkt.com/M16-14-Special-Forces-Black-Tanto-AutoLAWKS-Combo-Edge

Never fear, CRKT offers many other fine knives at as low as a third of that price for a quality tactical folder, with the only safe side spur style locks in the industry, just might be safer than many lockbacks or similar designs.

To keep from reading too much like an ad: CRKT sucks dick, because they discontinued my daily carry knife, the M4-03. Don't know why, but I do know I wish I could get another one new, because I fucked up the blade, got it waaaay hotter than it should have been, doesn't hold a proper edge anymore. It was a sexier knife than the above one.

 

Whatever Happened To The *cute assed* Poster That Created This Thread.....??



Cheers Glen.

 

Erm... I'm still here?

And you've never seen my ass.

 

True, I Might Not Have Seen It, But Let Me Ask You, Was My Description Of

It Accurate.....??



Cheers Glen.

 

I don't know. Right now I can't seem to stop farting. This happens sometimes when I have been drinking the night before. I also had a massive shit earlier and it took several flushes to get it to take the bend.

Other than that, aesthetically it might not be too bad, it has been commented on, and certainly it seems drunken football louts can be partial to it. It's quite hairy and I don't really have the best legs in the world. I'd say my redeeming feature is my manly chest.

Also, Several years ago when I was living in edinburgh this also happened to me in the street I just remembered LOL , this time by two very under age looking girls!!! who were walking past me one of them patted me on the backside and went, "hey sexy". I just walked the other way...

 

Too Much Information.!!...



Cheers Glen.

 

You did ask

It's what it's for innit! people often forget that when they are eyeing up other peoples bums.

 

Nonsense, breathing and dick sucking are the only bodily functions that pretty girls preform.

Well some of them blink too.

 

Don't you live in Scotland? When is it not?