How to live, where to live - as a serious hippie'ish idealist?

So, hi!

I'm a 19 years old Norwegian male kid, young adult, whatever.
I wouldn't really know where to begin, and how to put it, but generalized I think I can say that since early childhood I felt what I can connect to my man Robert Anton Wilson saying here (up to 4:43).
I also felt this early - if I remember it right and is not just some form of bias or memory distortion, that there was (is) either a conspiracy (".. of the stupid" as RAW termed it) or something appearing much like a conspiracy, -involved, to cause all this disfunctionality, all that which still seem to me be this fake layer, this blindfold, that humanity has let themselves wear (put on them by the conspiracy, or put on themselves - for strange reasons I'm unable to see clearly.. (which is why I'm inclined to believe it be more likely to be a conspiracy)).
Question is: what am I gonna do with it?
"Expose the conspiracy"? Nah, that's just not me - I don't believe in convincing people what is right over their will, I will not be the guy preaching conspiracies or anything similar.

What I do want to, is start with "likeminded" people like myself, or people who are easier accessable to these kind of ideas, not due to gullibility, but open-minded-ness or carrying similar intuitive feelings or other various acceptable reasons, to just "live in peace", as the Hippies say, to live and let live, to live like a family, and then inspire the spectators, "if any".
I'm also zippie in that I believe in free everything - I might accept modern technology for instance, but be it free and available for everyone, and shared with the world.

Now the issue is that I haven't really found anyone like that.
The best I've got is someone I barely know, that enjoys taking walks in the forest.

Here's some more specific, yet general information about me:
Unemployed, refuse to work, no welfare, living at my mom's house who's given welfare (FYI: she's worked her entire life until the last 6-7 years of mental illness, self-proclaimed being inflicted upon her by the government (bureaucracy) system) - but unhappy, she pays the Internet bills & food - but wants me staying here (due to her illness, but I'm growing tired of her negativity-complexes), no education (primary school for 9 years), 130'ish IQ, about 200$ saved, helping my grandmother out daily with her work for 20$, got an acceptable tent (it's extremely wet from moisture the day after in any weather... it's a Eureka one, I forgot the model, a middle/bad-rated one), a very good sleeping bag worth 200-400$ with a -30C comfortable rating and -50C extreme, acceptable winterboots, random, fairly poor winter cloths and basic gear (strong and long-lasting flashlight, handaxe, matches), and that's basically it. I have really no experience about killing (which I dislike very much anyway, especially opening up/ripping apart after kill), about backpacking, about anything. The pros I do have is: strong/crazy will, resistant to pain, cold, warmth, etc (ability to adjust by mind etc) & "good" at mantras and other autistic functions to keep hope & regenerate strength, also a fairly quick learner and creative figure-it-out-person.
But I'm still sort of lost - I don't really wanna backpack, especially not in this -20C-country (and all alone... I'm lonely enough as it is), I just bought this gear in case I got thrown out or something, like it becomes a necessity.

Again, I don't really know where to start, so: help?
I just wanna be taken care of by my own god damn race, what is this...
I don't believe in the black magic philosophy, or "satanic" if you want: every man for himself. That's not how the univerese work. That's not how our bloody race works, we're dual-gendered for ¤%)" sake! And there's no room for improvement if you're all alone - no new/different thoughts available..!
I just want people to connect, and I've been spending these last ~4'ish years on the netz trying to do just that: connecting with people.
What should I do, and why?
Is it not a pity that I'm not taken care of - like I would take care of them?
Does and should it really come to "anything for survival"? Which I don't believe in anyway, so I'll more likely succom to death, but errupt into race-hatred (human) as I go there, running around with a shovel, beating people in their heads.

 

Let's create a a tribe in the woods somewhere in the world. We will grow our own food, live on our own with no connections to the other people in the world. It'll be like our own world. . . How I wish this would happen, it'd be awesome IMO.

 

I totally agree with you. I'd love to chat with you any time, feel free to add me on MSN: zoecakes@live.com

You should look into communes around the world, it seems like living in one would suit your tastes nicely.

 

I second the idea of looking into communal living. Could be exactly what you're looking for - an alternative way of living for a while.

I feel your pain man, and really hope you manage to find a way to deal with some of the much less flattering parts of modern western society.

Peace

 

I totally get you. I have similar aspirations but I grew up being taught to aim for generic success in America but now that I've changed, I feel like a hippie trapped in a classroom (which might be more literal than I think it is).

Definitely message me if you want to talk about anything.

 

The whole "let's live by killing and burning things in the woods in a non-sustainable way" thing isn't as hippie is it sounds.

It might have been originally. Now, we know better, and we know that if the world tried to do that many millions would die, and the environment would be totally wrecked.

If you're a REAL idealist, you'd pretend to be sane and get involved in politics, and try to work towards a freer world without bullshit laws that is built upon sound and renewable ideas.