If you could give one piece of advice

..to a newborn child about life, what would it be?

 

eat your beets..

 

Remember that you took it.

 

As the newborn wouldn't be able to understand and remember sentiments conveyed via language yet, it would be a pointless endeavour.

If I had to advise a five-year-old, I'd tell them to remember life's magic every day.

If I had to advise I fifteen-year-old, I'd tell them to learn how to think critically.

 

shut up. just stop crying. shut up. SHUT THE FUCK UP!

 

That's probably the point at which you'd start doing the shaking and the police would turn up.

 

Shaking babies is an alternative way to dial 911? Freaking sweet.

Also, I'd tell them don't get shit in your eye, cuz it hurts like a motherfucker and ends up tearing your eye all to shit and then you feel like you have something in there until it heals. (I just came in from outside and the wind blew something into my eye and I just spend 15 minutes digging in my eye to get it out).

 

Never turn your back on fear. It should always be in front of you, like a thing that might have to be killed.

 

The sense of danger must not disappear:
The way is certainly both short and steep,
However gradual it looks from here;
Look if you like, but you will have to leap.

Tough-minded men get mushy in their sleep
And break the by-laws any fool can keep;
It is not the convention but the fear
That has a tendency to disappear.

The worried efforts of the busy heap,
The dirt, the imprecision, and the beer
Produce a few smart wisecracks every year;
Laugh if you can, but you will have to leap.

The clothes that are considered right to wear
Will not be either sensible or cheap,
So long as we consent to live like sheep
And never mention those who disappear.

Much can be said for social savoir-faire,
But to rejoice when no one else is there
Is even harder than it is to weep;
No one is watching, but you have to leap.

A solitude ten thousand fathoms deep
Sustains the bed on which we lie, my dear;
Although I love you, you will have to leap;
Our dream of safety has to disappear.
-W.H Auden

 

Kinky, you have the best sig pic on the forums:2thumbsup:

 

i'll tell them the reason why they will be prebeaten

 

Life's a bitch, Make the best out of it.

 

Your parents are really vampires, and one day, to become an adult, you must slay them. Only then can your real parents be free.

 

only take the last cookie when nobody knows your in the house.

 

if you could advise a baby to grow up to be the best person they are

tell them to care about everything

the stupidest shit i do is because i'm only caring about what i want

if someone had reminded me i might not think a 12 pack was worth the trash to get me drunk

maybe not

 

that would be a pretty miserable life.