Relationship problems... letting my guard down...

At work I feel very stiff. It's been over 4 months and I am very stiff. I am scared to make jokes (I am very young and my colleagues all have children) because I feel like I am immature and I would come off as offensive. I also feel for some reason I could jeopardize my job with my offensive humor? I always feel like I have to give a fake smile to people and I just feel very empty at work...

As far as my personal life goes... I used to be very shy around girls but after college I started drinking and having many one night stands. Eventually I gave up liquor and have become sober but have been meeting many girls. Anyways, for some reason I have this subconscious desire to sleep with a girl and throw her away... I'm not sure why but when she asks to tell me more about myself and tries to get closer, I am very very stunned by the question because I don't know how to answer... For some reason girls always ask me, "tell me more about yourself".... How am I supposed to answer this open ended question?! In any case, I am very good at making jokes and connecting with people at a superficial level but when things get emotional, I have a very very hard time showing myself.... showing her my deeper layers because deep down inside, even though I may not seem like it to those who don't know me, I am a severely insecure person.... and it's like my ego doesn't want them to know this so I push them away or something....

I was wondering what advice anyone can offer to someone who is tired of superficial relationships and seeking something more meaningful... I've become quite lonely inside because of this...

Thanks guys!

 

Bring out your inner self as opposed to be superficial ... it is good to play things close to the vest and as I read your passage you have only experienced sex not true intimacy or passion ... if you expose some of your inner self while playing close to the vest you will bring in a finer person and find a better person in yourself

 

Best thing at work is to keep your mouth shut and people at arms lenght!
You are way to young to have a meaningful relationshsip.
another 10 years of flings will do it!

 

Never said how old he is ... regardless sounds likes he has fucked a lot of one-nighters.

Agree re: work ... be yourself but don't get personal, just do your job, punch out and enjoy life

 

I also used to move around a lot.... Lived in 6 different countries and went to 3 different high schools, 2 different middle schools, etc. Wonder if that has something to do with it... I'm wondering if I am messed up

 

Keeping your cool and being composed at work is actually what is recommended. If you open too much or make lot of jokes, you may end up being not taken seriously. Make a joke once in a while letting them know you have a lighter side too, but going extreme may backfire.