Why am I so scared to take control?

I've recently got into a new relationship and there's a strong possibility of us 'getting it on' soon. I've had sex before, he hasn't. So you would think I would be the more confident one & would know what I'm doing - but I really don't!
I was in a relationship for a year and a half before this guy, and I'm ashamed to admit that I only went on top once and for the majority of the sex stuff it was him giving. I'm not the sort of person that just lies there or anything but I didn't 'give' as much as I should have, not that my ex ever really complained. But I literally have no idea what men want or what feel's good for them etc.
But the thing is even though I think one of the reasons my current boyfriend likes me is because I come across as quite cute and innocent to him, I think he is expecting me/wanting me to take control - and to be honest this would help him out a lot as it would be his first time and everything. But I am just SO insecure and uncomfortable with taking charge - getting on top, being the one 'doing' foreplay. Basically anything that means me doing the work. And this honestly hand on heart isn't because I'm lazy or because I don't want to, it's purely lack of confidence. I'm scared of my appearance when I'm on top, terrified I'm not doing it right and making a fool of myself, I get embarrassed and paranoid of what the guy's thinking all the time.
The reason I'm writing this is because I've never cared so much about a guy as I do this one, and I've never been so scared of losing someone. I want to please him, and I want to make more of an effort than I have in the past. I just need help or tips on how to get over this insecurity I have about it all. I want his first time to be something he'll want to remember instead of something he'll want nothing more than to forget!

 

okay, so if he's a virgin how's he gonna tell the difference whether you're every guy's dream or just a sag in the sack? the more you get it out, the better you'll get....that's what me and my lady done and now she's amazing in bed!

quit over analyzing it and just enjoy yourselfs....

 

a vagina.

 

role play

tell him ... you be the doctor, i'll be the sexy cadaver

 

You`ve answered your own question. Good luck.

 

Hey there, you aren't alone. I suffer from anxiety disorders too. Do you see a psychiatrist? You can PM me with this info if you want, and we can get a little more in depth. If you're comfortable with posting it here, that's fine too.