Is my friend gay and should I make a move?

Hey,

Don't usually post on forums but I can't find anyone to ask. I go to a religious school, I'm not out, and I have a really big crush on one of my friends. He is single, really good looking, and I think we would be great together if something ever developed. However, he is straight but I think he may be gay or at least bi. He hasn't had a girlfriend for two years (he has only had one, and it was his senior year in hs I believe), doesn't date, but has a line of girls who would date him in an instant. We wrestle a lot and he always pretends like he's into me, then laughs it off afterwards. We were sleeping over at a friends house one night, we both fell asleep on the couch - my head on his shoulder - (everyone just crashed around the room), but at like 2:00 in the morning I woke up and he moved off the couch and went to sleep on the floor next to some other guys. Maybe I'm reading to much into this, but I'm really confused. I REALLY like him, but I'm not sure how to find out if he is gay without outing myself. I don't know what to do, and all I can do is think about him. Any advice?

 

hey.
it's hard to say. it could be that he is gay and not out, or it could be that he's straight and not good with approaching girls, or sth else altogether.

one way to go about finding out is to direct the conversation on girls, ask him if he's interested in someone, what kind of girls he likes, or whether he'd like to double date with you sometime, etc. see how he reacts to that. if you have good reason to still think he might be into guys after that, then you could try being more physical with him. you know, sit closer to him than necessary, lean your leg against his and keep it there, touch him on the arm, etc....and see how he takes that. that's how i would do it.

you gotta be able to read the more subtle signals if there are no obvious ones.

also, if he is a real good friend, then at some point you might consider telling him about yourself. if he's a true friend he won't turn away from you because of this, and if he turns away he wasn't a real friend to begin with.

good luck.

 

Ask him if he likes the film "Mamma Mia" and you'll get all the info you need.

 

Well you go to a religious school maybe he has like a no sex before marriage or like celibacy thing going on that’s why he’s not into girls. My usual response to this is get him drunk and see how responsive he is to touching and maybe a gentle kiss lol. I don’t know him or you so I don’t know how this will play out if you were to get him drunk. In my life I never make the first move I just create the environment for these things to play out. With you we need more info. Do you know if he watches porn? do you watch porn? have u been with a guy before? how gay do you think you are? how far did he get with his hs gf? how far would you like to go with him?

 

Just make the move when there are no witnesses.

Then if he freaks out, just get him in a full nelson

 

I he's a talkative drunk then bring up sexuality while you're both drinking. Ask him something like, "What do you think of bisexual guys?". That's almost exactly how I came out to my friends. But don't be hasty and make sure you're reading the signs right.

Peace and Love eace: