how to stop my reoccuring nightmare. please help.

hey there,

i thought i would ask you all for some advise on a nightmare that keeps coming back. it's really starting to bother me and i would love some advise from anyone who could help. i can't really afford to seek professional help at the moment so would be grateful for any help you are willing to offer.

i guess there is history as to why this nightmare keeps coming back and i don't know what i can do to stop it.

it's basically that in my dream, my partner is taking drugs, or around drugs, or dealing them etc. in front of me when he knows how much i hate drugs. i'm upset and he doesn't react or care that i am bothered by what he is doing. he doesn't care that i am so upset. which upsets me and i end up waking up half screaming/half crying in a stressed way and he consoles me and i calm down but it's still always on my mind in reality. they have been happening since april 15th about twice a week now.

the history is i've always hated drugs. i find it distasteful and i find i seem to like someone a little less if i know they are drug users. i've never taken any or intend to. (i have smoked a joint on occasion but this has caeased every since my nightmares started - and it started to make me paranoid too). i can get panic attacks if i lose hold of reality which scares the hell out of me. a bad expierence of laughing gas, have had my drink spiked twice i think which have caused panic attacks in the past.


i guess it's something that i don't understand and from my expierences i just don't like it.

april 15th my partner had some boys over which i wasn't expecting and i did my own thing. later that night it was just him and his mate he hadn't seen in years hanging out in the kitchen. i didn't want to bother them as they were catching up so i acted like i was fine about it but i wasn't. i knew what they were doing and it really upset me. i don't know why. i guess i love my partner so much that i'm scared of something happening to him ... i didn't sleep at all that night and was anxious all night.

i felt it was hard to speak to him the next day and i finally confronted him the next night. saying how i don't like what he did and in future, i don't want to know or have anything to do with it. i don't want to see anything that reminds me of that stuff around our house, hear you speak in code on the phone and have nothing to do with it and that i will act in a funny way each time i've known that he has taken drugs. and that i will always act funny/upset/shoet/mad if he does do this in front of me. he said he was sorry for upsetting me and nothing will happen in front of me in the future.

i'm over these nightmares and don't know what to do to make them stop. please please please ... any advice would be so appreciated.

 

From the sound of it, this causes you allot anxiety and fear. It is not surprising this transfers over in your dreams.

I think you need to have a honest discussion with your partner and make it clear how much stress this is causing you. Mention the dreams.
Only the two of you can work something out. Until you do that this will probably bother you.

Not all drugs are same by the way. Maybe by talking to him you may learn something.

 

thank you for your advise ... i'll have a chat with him. i'm not really sure why i am anti drugs ... i think i have some repressed memories or something going on about my past. thanks again.

 

I was in the same situation as you and we ended up splitting up. I am a lot happier now personally. It's easier to just start out with someone who agrees with you than to try and change them.