Exceptable dress

I've always been a bit confused on this issue. I've always believed that it is the woman's decision what to wear and how she wants to portray herself. I've also believed that it's better for woman to be able to wear "sexy" clothing rather then be condemned for her sexuality. I personally do not consider it fashionable or attractive to dress with half of your body showing, but I'd rather live in a society where they can do that than live in a society where woman have to be completely covered up at all times.

However, some people think that when a woman dresses like that, they're objectifying theirselves. I can sort of understand that argument. But do you think that when a woman wears a short skirt and a belly shirt that people are going to respect them any less because of it? Maybe, I do hear people call other woman who dress like that "slut" a lot. But that doesn't make those people right. And I don't think that anyone should have to catter their wardrobe to what other people think is exceptable.

What do you think?

 

I think it would depend on why a woman was wearing a short skirt and belly shirt. Is she doing it because she is comfortable with her body? Or is she doing it to objectify herself? Is she still able to present herself as an intelligent being? Or is she just trying to get people to stare at her body? I don't see anything wrong with women being sexual people... but I do see something wrong with women being seen SOLEY as sexual people. That whole "I don't have to learn anything because I'm pretty" thing pisses me off... unfortunately I think a lot of women buy into it still. But the bottom line, I think too, is that people don't get to know others before they judge them. So if a women in a short skirt and belly top is smart and not a slut, and is ok with people thinking she is stupid and a slut, then I guess that's her choice. Personally, I'm not into that...

 

I think that if women dress with most of their body hanging out in this culture are objectifying themselves. Men in our culture (for the most part) are not predisposed to respecting women.

Although, I think that is a shame. I would love to live in a society where I can forget about wearing a bra without being oogled for being able to see my nipples under my shirt. For god's sake, men have nipples too...sheesh

Hell, I hate clothes in general. I live in texas, and it is always hot here. I would love to be able to walk around without a shirt on, and be considered normal instead of trashy.

The clothing, or lack of, isn't the real problem. The culture is...

 

yeah society has a rather idealised view of things; if women wear sexy clothes or non sexy clothes, they immediately subject themselves to be stereotyped. however, i feel that there's no need to show so much skin sometimes, unless it's really hot (of course) but i've seen girls wearing nothing but a really miniscule strapless dress and be subjected to all kinds of verbal insinuations; perhaps they enjoy being objectified and stared at, but in my opinion they just make themselves look like a piece of meat for guys, who only see that in them.
I could never be seen with a really short skirt or showing a little more, cos i'm not comfortable that's all. but there are women who are and i respect that, as long as they know that they do it for them, instead of doing it for the attention.

 

My old guidance counsellor from highschool used to have this conversation with girls who would come to school practically naked and then go crying to her when people called them sluts:

Guidance counsellor: Are you a slut?
Student: No!
Guidance counsellor: Then why are you wearing the slut's uniform?

That's not, of course, to say that women who dress skimply ARE sluts... of course not all are. But women have to realize the way they're going to be seen by others. Like I said before, if you don't care what people say about you, more power to you. But be prepared. If you don't like being called a slut, (or whatever), don't dress like one. You only get out of the universe what you put into it... so what are you putting into it?

 

super_grrl, I love your sig pic.. so cute!

anyways, back to the issue at hand

I've been guilty of judging people based on their clothing, especially girls who dress in a very revealing fashion (I generally call them skanks). I see no problem with dressing sexy (even on a daily basis) but when 85% of your skin is showing when it's -10C outside, I don't really understand what's going on.

There's a difference between dressing sexy, and dressing revealingly (is that even a word).... there are a lot of jean & tshirt cuts that can be very flattering, especially to those girls who do have the skinny figure. You don't have to wear a tube top and a mini (that's pleated so that the moment there's a breeze, everyone can see everything) to feel sexy. All taht's gonna do is get you offers of $30 bucks for an evening, IMHO.

I guess, I just feel like this whole dressing provocatively thing has gone overboard. Sexy vs barely clad. And not even barely clad because it's comfortable, it's because the majority of those girls want to either be noticed by guys or fit in with the fashion of their gal pals. The majority of girls who dress like that (around here at least) are 14-18, with the occasional gal above 19 doing it too. I just feel like they shouldn't be dressing so provocatively at such a young age (I know, I'm a youngun too, but I've never dressed like that).



aagh, ranting.

women should be allowed to wear what they want, but society is going to make assumptions about you based on appearance and clothing no matter what you do.

 

I think women should dress modestly to a reasonable extent-it shows respect of yourself and respect towards the person you are with.

 

Hey ihmurria,

Thanks My piggie is almost 3! And he knows who's boss... him lol

Anyway I totally agree with your entire post... just wanted to let you know I think you made awesome points.

 

Lynsey, I totally agree. Do you want to talk to my 18 year old, the "Belly shirt girl?" I know she wants to be attractive, but she sometimes goes overboard. I wouldn't want the kid in a Burka, but damn, she tries to get attention the wrong way sometimes. I think maybe her self esteem was damaged by years of having to deal with having severe ADHD and Tourette's Syndrome, and the way a lot of her peers dissed her because of those ailments. She wants people (especially boys) to notice something about her other than her sometimes odd behavior. (Well, she is a lot better, but it used to be really difficult for her.) So, yeah, I think it is a self esteem issue. Her 16 year old sister dresses very differently. Had a much different childhood experience, the way peer related to her, and has not yet seemed to notice boys.

OTOH, I think our society should be one where a womyn can wear anything and not be judged, but "Should" is often a very useless word, because that isn't how our culture is. And the media doesn't help. I mean, if you had someone looking and dressing and acting like Paris Hilton, would you be more or less likely to hire her for an important job than someone dressed a lot more modestly? (Excluding working for say, a brothel or Hooters.)

 

One of my pet peeves. Womyn MY age who dress like my 18 year old. What IS that?

 

Maggie, I totally agree with you... people's moms should not be running around dressed like Spice Girls. That's just wrong... lol I'd flip if my mom started dressing like me. Yah, we swap clothes *sometimes* but it's usually things like sweaters. I'm not saying moms should dress like grandmas or something... but they shouldn't dress like their kids either.

 

So what are you saying, Sharon Osbourne needs to cover up? Lol.

Yeah, I understand that a lot of woman do dress that way to get to wrong kind of attention. I also know that there's such thing as going overboard. I do believe that there's a difference between being dressing in sexually flattering clothes and practically streaking. (Example: Paris Hilton's clothes are not only as bit over the top, but they're far from flattering) My father always said that the best arguement against pornography is that no little girl says "I want to be a porn star when I grow up!" Now, I'm sort of undecided on that topic, but I think that's a good point. He's basically saying that there's a reason people go into that feild, and they're not always positive reasons. I suppose it's the same sometimes with woman who dress this way: Sometimes woman dress that way for a reason, and it's not always positive.

I think, though, in most situations, these woman are not dressing like that for any particular emotion reason or to be sleezy, that it's mostly just a fashion thing. While there are some alphets that really are too showy, in general, I feel that our society is just a bit uptight about this particular topic. Meh, our society is too uptight about a lot of things.

 

There was actually an article about that in USA Today last week -- that whole "casual workplace" thing got out of hand, so that some people are showing up in spandex & belly shirts, with pants so low you can see the top of their g-string in the back, while others show up in pajama pants, a t-shirt, & slippers. I guess companies are realizing it's time to reign it in & establish a dress code if need be, because some of these people are offending clients.

As for wearing revealing clothes, it really depends, kinda like what has already been said... I have no problem with a tight tank top & no bra, with a bit of my belly showing in the summer, when it's 95 degrees with 98% humidity (gotta love mid Missouri summers). That same tank top with a push up bra when it's 60 degrees, that would look like I'm advertising... Spandex bike shorts for a bike-a-thon, cool, jean shorts that are as tight as those spandex shorts, not cool (because it doesn't look comfy or sexy, it looks painful).

 

Honestly, I don't think that the way she is dressed has any bearing on her intelligence or how much knowledge she has. I have known some incredibly intelligent women who occasionally dressed that way -- when they were looking for a one-night-stand, cuz they were between boyfriends, didn't really have time for a boyfriend, but wanted to get laid.

I would still react to this woman differently (especially if she tried talking to my boyfriend) -- because she is clearly advertising, not because of any assumptions about her IQ or education level.

 

What is a sluts uniform?
Since when did clothes ever dictate sexual behaviour...

I know a saying thats been around a lot longer than that

"Never judge a book by its cover."

Now I agree, you cant change others perceptions of you, but then again, anyone who says your a slut because they are too narrow minded to think outside the square of their social condidtioning is not worth knowing anyway

I'm a proud skimpy dresser, I find my sex empowering.

 

What is most disturbing, is the fact that we are all women here, and we are the ones who attack eachother the most. I have always found that if I am introduced to a group of men and women, the women decide how the men will react to me.

Just take a look in your loungeroom next time you watch telly. Who does the most critisizing of women, I bet you'll find its other women.

Words like 'fuck me boots' or 'hooker boots' are all part of the problem, theyre just boots for fucks sake, since when has anyone ever put on a pair of boots and magically transformed into a sex worker, its a load of crap, since when does foot wear play a part in intercourse? (well forgetting shoe fettishes)

 

er, well, I feel waaaay sexier in knee-high boots than in runners. Especially in my boots with a 3.5" heel! But I don't wear them with mini's (well, I don't wear mini's period, they just aren't flattering to me)


mmmmmmmmshoes

 

The term "slut's uniform" is what my guidance counsellor used to describe the (usually 14-year old) girls' outfits when they came to complain to her about sexual harassment. Sexuality may be empowering (i'm not saying it isn't) but if you're 14 years old and coming to school (where raging hormones live) in a mini skirt, a tight shirt with no bra that shows your belly button and then some, and enough make-up that your face might cave in... you're wearing the clothes that people will associate with sluts. Whether you ARE a slut or not is irrelevant.

 

what I'm saying is that sluts dont have a uniform, people just make stupid assumptions about people by thier clothes.
I think 14 year olds should dress however they please.

I mean most of us probalby disagree with the "I raped her, did you see her clothes? she was asking for it" mentallity, now this is no different.

 

I don't think a person should ever dress to please anyone but themselves, however, people do judge people by how they dress, so if a person does show too much flesh, they are obviously wanting to be noticed more. Or, like a lot of other people, they wear unusual clothing that is different from others for a statement. So, yes, it does make a difference, because whatever a person wears, does say who they are and what they are all about.