tried EVERYTHING to for pleasurable anal, please help!!

hi there,
did a google search and stumbled on this forum. great to see so many people discussin anal in so many topics. mine is the following. my girl will do absolutely anything for me but she is having problems with anal. her resistance stems from the fact that she is afraid it will hurt. she has tried to give it to me on a few occasions with varying levels, but still limited success (anywhere from just the tip to a few thrusts). on a side note, i am neither well nor poorly endowed so this shouldnt be the problem. when we have normal vaginal sex, she loves it when i stimulate her ass with my fingers and cums much harder with my fingers inside her ass. ive even had 2 fingers completely inside her and she loved it. however as soon as she stops cumming, my finger(s) inside her starts to hurt her. unless she is cumming she doesnt like my fingers inside her ass but loves the stimulation on the outside.
ive tried all the relaxing techniques; candles, massage, wine etc. we love to smoke weed and 75% of the time we do smoke before we have sex. so ive tried combinations of all of these and she still complains of pain. when i try and go in her ass i can feel shes not relaxing so it seems shes still nervous or something.
we have been together for many years now and share a loving, passionate and highly energetic sex life. i am always very sensitive to her needs and never forceful regarding the anal issue. as some of the other guys on this forum have said, i am fixated by it (watch anal only porn) and will do anything to get my girl to do it. the small taste i have had has made me an anal lover and really want her to enjoy it and be able to give it to me (even if its a once a month thing! lol)

thanks so much for your help! :afro:

 

Dude, I can't believe you wasted all those years. You finally get into her butt and she can't do it. You gotta be a man and give her an ultimatum: take it in the ass or say goodbye. If what you say is true, that you've "tried EVERYTHING," it is time to consider your exit strategy. Deep down she does not have the mental capacity for it, so it is time to move on and look for an anal whore who will be an even better girlfriend for you. This would be a better solution in the long term, because since she won't give it to you, you will eventually end up looking elsewhere for it. As long as you will be with her, and as long as she refuses anal, the longer you will be torturing yourself. I would break up.

 

This has been posted like a MILLION times. You need to go SLOWER! Don't try your cock just yet. The first thing you need to do is eat her ass and get her to enjoy anal stimulation before you move to the big guns.

Next fingers, and then get a beginner butt plug set that goes from small (about the size of a pinkie) to large (about the size of a penis).



I will take a few sessions until she's able to comfortably have the large plug in her ass, but it'll happen. It's all about taking things in steps.

You see the problem is not relaxing consciously but unconsciously. The secondary sphincter in her ass is an involuntary muscle she can't relax on her own. Putting something small in there will not hurt her and giver her secondary sphincter time to get the message to dilate, then you can move to the bigger plugs and finally your cock.

Analingus and butt plugs w/lots of lube will be the keys that will open up the back door. Her ass needs to be relaxed, not stretched or broken in like some think.

Attempt to put in the small plug after you have eaten her pussy and ass. After you put it in leave it in there while you just focus on her pussy so that way her anus can get acclimated to anal stimulation. You have to train her ass to relax. Leave it in while you're having vaginal sex, she needs to get use to the idea of something being in her ass during sex.

After a few sessions of that move up to the middle plug, then to the large plug. At the final session with the last plug in, when she feels is right, slip out the large plug and replace it with your cock.

Another secret to smooth anal penetration is having her bear down like she's drying to pass gas when you are inserting your fingers/toys/cock in her ass. This may seem counter-intuitive but this action dilates the anal opening for MUCH easier penetration.

I don't thinking giving her an ultimatum will make it less painful or help her relax. I disagree with back door man in finding an anal whore, I don't like whores they carry diseases and will cheat on you. Find the girl next door, and bring the freak out of her that's worked best for me.

I don't think dumping her is the best solution, OBVIOUSLY she finds anal stimulation exciting, you just need to get her ass to relax and the plugs will get of a great assistance in that area trust me.

 

Try Triple Ace's suggestion. If she still doesn't like it, dump her and look for an anal whore. Don't waste any more time.

 

My suggestion is not to involve any drugs / alcohol as they can hide pain, which anal can be done without!
Are you using lots of lube when you use your fingers? If not that may be why she feels the burning sensation, it is VERY sensitive and doesn't produce its own lubricant! If your using your fingers make sure your nails are cut and smooth you could be irritating her inside.

My suggestion is to go slowly, massage her ass gently with a well lubed finger or massage her anus with your tounge for a couple minutes at least until she starts to relax. Don't even insert it just apply pressure and massage in a cirlce, if she likes you can massage her clit at the same time. After awhile you can apply more lube and try to slowly insert your finger! For me it's all about the breathing and relaxing. If shes worried about the pain then that will cause her to tense up, so just remember go SLOW and use a ridiculous amount of lube. Once shes comfortable with your finger.. well you get the point.

Hope it helps, enjoy! My girlfriends orgasms are intense from anal!

 

Triple ace has it right, but so does backdoor man. She likes it, so I wouldn't dump her yet. As long as she tries then don't dump her. When she decides not to try anymore, then dump her. Serious love will try to make eachother happy.

Pspot is good too, but don't use so much lube! Too much will turn the turds into diarrhea... :ack2:

The pushing technique is by far the best, but can produce some dirties. But if you are really disgusted by that, then you prob don't want to mess around with someone inexperienced with anal.

BTW, if you have your whole cock in there (past the second sphincter) then just stop there and don't thrust. Give her a message and just sit in there. Sometime I can cum just sitting in a tight whole. Once she is a little more relaxed, start moving in and out at like a half inch distance. After about 10 minutes she should be relaxed enough to get a inch distance thrust, then a 2". After 2" she should be able to handle whole thrusts. I think this is a better technique than then 4" dildo-6". I know it took my girlfriend about 5 tries using my penis to get relaxed enough to get the whole things moving in and out comfy.

 

Ps the pushing technique will not produce "dirties".

 

When I feel a guy might bitch out and try to stop ii tie them up and make them take it cause after the pain comes pleasure