Okay, I know many of you will think "this guy is lame" or just inexperienced, but I don't think that is the case, at least the inexperienced part lol. Anyways, I'm basically making this post to test the waters and see if there is anyone else out there that is like myself. I find it nearly impossible to avoid having a "bad trip" while taking a tryptamine. Usually my tryptamine experiences go something along the lines of I hallucinate a shit-ton, and nothing wrong with this except that it's usually some really f***ed up shit that fills me with immense horror for the remainder of the trip. Trips that are practically always centered around death and destruction. I've experienced being stabbed and and left for dead, re-living my dying moment in an endless loop while "bleeding to death" on dpt while pissed off "demons" flew at me screaming obscenities I'd rather not repeat. I've met with a very angry Buddha figure multiple times on different substances, demonic orgies, some crazy Mayan gods, and a lot of other stuff that even sometimes bleeds over into affecting others in the real world, who are not tripping, in a negative way. For example, one time while tripping on a heavy dose of dipt, I saw a very tall shadowy figure in my hallway next to my roommate's bedroom. As soon as I noticed the being, my roommate who was asleep and completely sober woke up and started puking everywhere. Of course this freaked him out the next day when I told him. I used to do a lot of tryptamines just because I kind of found a thrill in these horrid experiences, but after a while I just have gotten sick of it and it is for this reason that I am even relatively sure I'd rather not try LSD even though it is readily available to me. Basically it's gotten to the point where I only do phenethylamines because anything over a small dose of a tryptamine will set me off. Is there anyone out there who is like this as well? Just curious.. Edit: The only tryptamine I haven't had this experience with is amt
I don't think you're lame, I think that you have some issues about death/anger/violence that are deep enough that only something like a tryptamine can truly elicit. It doesn't surprise me that phens don't trouble you like this, in my experience they really can't go as far as the trypts can, especially if we're talking about the more 'candy' phens like mdma. I don't know what to tell you, you can either avoid this class of compounds and avoid exploring this issue within yourself or you can face it head on. My trypt experiences tend to be very euphoric and beatific. Maybe you are not connected with some aspect of yourself in some way. Thanks for sharing though it's a fascinating topic am curious to see responses from others and yourself
Definitely not lame in any way. Every experience is different and there's no reason why you should think you're in any way inferior to any other tripper because you've had shit experiences. I don't know that I can say much for having a bad time on every tryptamine except for the fact that they are all similar in some ways and it's not too far off to think that tryptamines just remind you of some bad experience/though that puts you into that death/destruction thought loop which you don't like. Your powerful experiences with DPT however don't seem too out of the normal.. a lot of people including myself and others I know have had some very powerful, fear inducing reactions to DPT. Maybe just taking a break from tripping, or at least tryptamines for a while will set your mind back on course for some fun next time you try a tryptamine. Sometimes all you need is a little break when your mindset gets too strange for tripping..
Couldn't agree more with both these guys ^^^ as far as taking a break from trypts for a good while. Personally, I find tryptamines the hardest to handle out of everything I've tried in my life and I really only dose a trypt when I'm in need of a good, raw, core-shaking experience (which isn't very often these days, haha) But I can relate, I feel pretty lame about it sometimes too, but the reality of it is that for the past year or so my head has just not been in a good space for getting the most out of tryptamines (or any heavy dose for that matter). I think that sometimes you need to experience sober-reality to offset tripping "reality" to find a good balance or make the most of it. It's been 6 months since my last genuine trip and although I'm feeling a pull lately, I don't know if I'm quite ready just yet. Nothing wrong with breaks from time to time...
I tend to get anxiety post trip (like the following day(s) after) from some of the heavier tryptamine trips. During heavier trips like DMT and DPT I tend to feel how you used to, they are sort of thrills but I actually do find much value in the trips as well. But responding to your point, I actually find very little 'horrid' in the DMT experience, it's utter perfected alienness bombarding me beyond the point of processing is a bit unsettling to me on some trips though. I had a DPT trip last week and I find that trip very paradoxical, it no doubt has a very heavy overtone with some intense and horrid mental imagery for me as well but I also find it has some very shallow elements. It sort of reminds me of like a psychedelic graphic comic, For instance last trip I beat one off while I felt my legs were floating in space and various disturbing mental image coursed through my mind. You can either take a break and avoid the tryptamines for awhile as others have mentioned or my advice is to maybe push further and explore Salvia Divinorum. Heavy Salvia Divinorum trips sort of work as my reset for psychedelics, I find the salvia space a far more bleak and grim trip then what tryptamines provide and it's more mind altering. As intense as those tryptamines mentioned above and others can be I sort of feel as if they allow my mind to remain in my own skin (literally or figuratively) which in fact can stem some of the anxiety I believe as where Salvia is like paper mache that wraps the sense of self and identity up as if it were glued to the salvia space and then pretty much has it's way, Something about being that far out of my head makes facing some of those tryptamine trips easier for me somehow. MDMA + Salvia is a magnificient combo as the MDMA tends to lessen some of the flight or fight response that is common with Salvia trips and it slightly extends duration as well without changing the nature of the trip.