Seems like a big downfall of being heterosexual. My main two relationshits I had I thought it would be a good idea to have a child. With the first I really tried to get her pregnant, then when I realized the reality of the situation I prayed for her to not be. She was not. Grateful for that. Most recent relationshit I thought AGAIN that it wouldn't be so bad if she got pregnant. Didn't really try like I did with the other gal but still, why the hell would I think that would be a good idea? I think that its because being with someone in that manner feels so "good" and it totally tricks the individual human beings into creating another human being. Ehh.. I am 20, I am not up for that kind of responsibility right now. That second gal I was with for a little while had two kids already too.. with that first hand experience of what having kids is like I'm not sure that I ever want to be a dad. I have heard over and over, it is different when they are your own children. I can grasp that to a degree, and understand that if those were my children I interacted with, things would have been a whole lot different than they were. I'm just going to cut my testicles off...
Well I did write a T instead of a P indicating that I wasn't too thrilled with the relationships that I have had but am baffled by the fact that I thought it would be a good idea to have a child with them. I need to be more selective in who I open myself to. If I felt I was in a healthy relationshiP that I could see myself actually committing to than I would likely feel a whole lot more comfortable with having a child.
I've always believed that the opinions and wisdom of those older than me carry some merit to some degree, considering that they have more life experience than I do. That being said, almost every person I know older than myself who has a child/children has always told me to never have children. I think having a family is something that is implied by our societal standards, and something that many feel they must achieve in order to fullfill some goal in life. Not everyone of course, I'm speaking generally. Not to mention most religions teach it as a religious goal that must be fullfilled in order to better serve god.
I have heard much of the wisdom that you type of. One lady I know said, "I hope everyone has kids... so they can go through the same bullshit I went through." Clearly that lady has some resentments.. I have heard a lot of people say that it is a good thing and I can see how it could prove to be an enriching experience. Bold: You are not a complete person unless you have a "significant other" and then when you get with someone you are not "whole" until you have children is what societal standards seem to press. So I guess I have heard both sides of the similar stories.. I would like to read more of what the HipForum'ers have to type on this subject.
Life is what you make of it...so if you choose to have children and raise them to be something great, then so be it. Just remember that people now find it necessary to raise kids without fathers/mothers because of divorce rates and whatnot. I don't think this is right, especially since I come from a situation like that. So if you are going to have kids with someone, make sure its someone you love and will be with forever...no kid deserves the "every other weekend" treatment
I wasn't aware of that really.. they should probably pick a better partner if they have that much fear about the stability of the relationship. I lived in every other week for my entire childhood upbringing. It fucking sucked, never felt like I had a home, whenever I got comfortable, all my belongings got picked up and I was at the other house. I still think that I would like to have a child some day.. I don't know I am not there yet. Thank you for responding.
That's for sure-every kid deserves to have a mommy and daddy that stay together and take an interest in raising the child together-broken families are destroying this country.
