I am a young adult, and I am independent of my father. I usually talk to him a couple of times a week on the phone. He and I get along well, but I frequently get angry after talking to him on the phone. I'm not really sure why I get angry, but I think I just need to try talking to him less often. I am more of a spiritual person whereas my dad is a staunch southern baptist. I mountain bike, and that brings me joy. He can't understand that. I am a vegetarian, and that brings me joy. He can't understand that either. My dad has never been inspired to do anything in life with enthusiasm whereas I have been. I think it may be better to talk much less often. Anyone who has experienced similar difficulty have any input?
it sounds like your dad doesn't understand that he doesn't have a life long permit to make decisions for you/ give running commentary in your life. I think that a lot of parents have a hard time letting go of that role. I think that there is more than one way to handle it. You're not obligated to talk to him frequently, so not talking to him so much might be good. If you want to talk to him as much as you do now, it's just that he is getting annoying, you could try putting your cards on the table. maybe something like "look, I like doing xyz, but you keep hounding me about it. It makes me not want to talk to you when you won't let things go." hopefully he'll get the message
I try to be compassionate to my parents because I firmly believe that when I get angry in similar situations as you it's more about my own feelings. Yeah, i'm more open minded than my father and more passionate and embracing of life and it does bother me that we can't relate on a deep level. I also know that when I get angry it's because I want him to understand, relate, and who knows, how awesome would it be if he were more open minded and we would be able to connect like friends. My feelings are about what I want, need and would like to expect from my parents. Might it be similar for you?
old people are set in their ways just try and figure out what you can agree on and try not to talk about about anything that causes conflict my dad and I have the same occupation..(he is retired now)..we could never work together because we think differently...always bumping heads lol...he is a save save save type person who worked a 8 to 4 job his whole life (until retirement) and Im a self employed spend it now/work when I want to type of person lol...it took a while but we both seem to have figured out what types of conversation/actions to avoid and things have been just fine
