But I suppose that's not the correct way to word it. I don't want to be a woman, I am a woman. Atleast on the inside. It's difficult to explain the feeling, but its always been there and only in the past several years have I unearthed its meaning. It makes sense really, I tend to only associate with girls around my own age. I have male friends, but I don't identify with them as well and nearly all of my closest friends are female. The majority of my interests are things that society has deemed to be feminine. In terms of sexuality, I am a straight male. As a woman, I am bisexual. If that makes any sense. I often fantasize about myself with other men, but I can only do this when my mental image of myself is as a girl. But yet I always find myself fantasizing about women, no matter which form I choose to take in my mind. And that is the thing about femininty, it is alluring and intoxicating. I can never take my mind off of it, how I am attracted to all things feminine, and how I wish to be the epitome of femininity myself. I can't walk through a department store without looking at womens clothes and wondering what could have been, or what could be. My penis disgusts me. Well, not quite. But I know that it shouldn't be there, and only brings me disappointment whenever I see it. What is stopping me from transitioning and living my life as I please? My family, my friends, my relationship. Has any one ever seen Up In The Air? "Make no mistake your relationships are the heaviest components in your life. All those negotiations and arguments and secrets, the compromises." They're weighing me down, preventing me from living for myself. Strangely, I seem to be able to cope with this. I'm not depressed, I have no desire to harm myself. I am incredibly level headed and completely content. But there are those who live with contentment and those who strive to achieve everything that they want. I am weighed down, unable to break free. Hopefully the future holds change. I am living in a shell of my true self, which I cannot express to any one.
Same here. I'm not gay but I'm not 100% straight either. I wouldn't call myself bi-sexual since I can not imagine a romantic relationship with a guy, but I do get aroused with the idea of being penetrated, and have imagined myself as a woman having sex with a man. I don't want to be a woman permanently, but I would love to be one for a day or two. I guess I'm just really curious.
It sounds like more of a fetish than an actual gender crisis. If you want to act and dress as a women though, who's to stop you? Good luck.
hi my name is zoe, i am a 19 year old trans woman, like you i had alot of things that where holding me back from transitioning my family, my friends, my relationship, but when it comes down to it real friends, relationships and family will stay by your side nomater what you choos. not saying itl be easy for them but in 10 or 20 years do you rilly wana look back and regret not atleast trying for happyness? remember its never to lait to transition but the older you get the harder it will be. theas days thers saport groups in most cities and plenty of them online , it isnt somthing you need to go threw alone if you ever need somone to talk to feel free to contact me , i can eaven set ya up with a some online saport sites and chats if youd like woofie_jess@hotmail.com
