Hello everyone...new here. I searched for this topic and couldn't find one like it, I hope I'm right. My apologies in advance for the lengthy post. I've been with my husband for 9 years, he's known me as bi-sexual for longer than that. Since we've been together I have been completely monogamous. The longer that time goes on, I'm becoming very worried. At one time we had a great sex life, but now it's suffering. All that gets me off anymore is to fantasize about women and I just seem to lack interest in having sex with him. We've halfheartedly discussed incorporating someone else...I think this may help me feel more desire for him too, but I'm terrified for a couple of reasons: 1.) I've had multiple 3-ways in the past (always the outsider with the couple) and EVERY single one of those relationships were destroyed for various drama. 2.) I'm terrified that I may fall in love with this hypothetical woman and want to leave my husband (not acceptable to me) 3.) I'm terrified that my husband may want to leave me for reasons above or will think he gets a free pass to sleep with other women because of this new openness. I guess I'm just searching for advice...people who have been in this situation before. I saw some posts from bi-males, but to me that situation is a bit different. I think my guy has always felt less secure about my bi-sexuality. Many thanks!
you cant have it both ways....either risk the risks and get a 3rd or figure out a way to spice it up another way you could always hire a pro... just so you know...MOST men blame their wives for sagging sex lives
Hi Ellgrrl, from experiemce I can say it can change your relationship - but then if you are not happy with the present then maybe it needs change. Many people in just your position - have you looked at HUGS (both partners needs to join, or MMOMW (making mixed oriented marriages work) - youl'll find both by searching. Great groups, some great really supportive people with lots of very different stories. There is also AP - Alternate Path - for women only; again from what my wife says a great group of people with lots of advice. I came out as bi after 19 years married - thought she always knew I had tendencies/experiences and for a year we opened up to a three, but we are now taking a break and seeing what we really want/need. Good luck, Simon :sunny:
Thanks for mentioning the groups Simon...I hadn't heard of them before, so I'll check them out. I'm beginning to realize that something should probably needs to change for both of our benefit. I always thought it wouldn't matter, whoever spoke to me in the right voice, I would follow. I never believed that sex was that important, that it would just come naturally. I guess it just isn't that easy.
Why do you feel that you might fall in love with another woman? Are you open to polyamore? The way I see it is either you need to act or just continue fantasizing. Are you missing the touch of a woman, or just the feeling of eating pussy? If it's just the eating thing, there are some very realistic fake vagina's out there.
This is probably too late of a reply to the question that was asked, but here goes: Well, we've been trying to spice it up between us...when we do the deed it's usually really great, it's just hard convincing myself to do it most of the time. And during the deed, I often have to fantasize to take me to the next level. I think I miss most the delicate touch and sensual curves of a woman. I'm very different sexually with a man than a woman...I become much more sexually aggressive (in a good way) with a woman. When I try to do this with a man, it just never works out the same.
Hello ElleGrrl, I am sorry your torn between your man and a woman,it can be quite hard huh?? Which are you more interested in @ this point?? Perhaps you and your husband could experiment and not hurt your marriage?? (An OPEN relationship) Good luck sweetheart
You can fall in love with another woman and still keep your marriage. A lot of women do that. My wife is bi and has a girlfriend who is also a friend of mine. She's going to be the godmother of our child. It can work if you all want it to.
Ahhhhhhhhhhh thats sweet,your wife is lucky you are so open minded about it I do hope things continue well for you all!
