Hello First I would explain up till the place where I need advice, please read everything before you come with advice. This weekend was I and a colleague on the way for a good quiet evening of playing and a little alcohol was involved. The evening came and he wanted to travel to a nattkubb since he had not seen one before. So we jumped in a taxi half drunk with good humor. Upon arrival we start with shots and soon we were talking with 2 other ladies, and everything was fun. my colleague got on well with the one woman he thought was cute, which was nice since he is single and does not go out much. I was quick to tell the other lady that I was married. time came the night club closed and they invited us for a party. I could not say no because of my colleague as I showed he had no money for the cab to the place or home again + I saw no danger as I had said I was married at the time I had and showed holiday pictures of me and the wife, + I had not flirted in any way with her. We arrived at the place the four of us and we sat there drinking talking Listening to music. Soon I was very tired as I walk in the city just 1 per yr and the sun started to show. The lady who talked with me said I could sleep on her side because it is not elsewhere en cheating Involved, sounded like a great idea. Now i dont know what happend next but 10min after we got to bed we had started having sex, 2minuter in act I stopped full of panic and told her that it was wrong. She looked at me and told me it was maybe wrong for me but right for her. I lay down on her side and asked if she was disappointed if I went home, she looked to me and said in alread HAD cheated and yes She might get a little bit sad. Full of panic I came up with a stupid excuse to take a smoke, draged my colleague out and told him why I wanted to go. he understood and took the blame on him and told him that I had to follow him home because he had no money. her I had talked to were now in the door and asked if I came back I was still drunk and full of panic as I said yes and gave her a kiss and left. This was 3 days ago. My wife knows nothing, but I do not know if I should send this lady a text message and explain why I have not returned, or if I should be quiet and never contact her again. So I know I've Been a triple idiot, but what Shall I do?? I know my wife never would figure it out, so ill live the shame will knowing it will never happen again And yes I love my wife and have never done anything like the 6 years we have been a couple But I still feel bad to this woman of lying and
well if you think there's a chance your wife could find out it's gonna look pretty damn bad so maybe telling her what happened would be a good idea? maybe being quiet is an idea too i don't know what sort of lady your wife is so not sure how badly she'd react but all depends if you can live with the guilt confessing may make it all better in your mind.
this is one of those situations where i cannot begin to understand your relationship with your wife. as far as any guilt you have, that is immaterial in my view....you did it, you have to deal with it and accept it. your guilt is not a reason to either tell or not tell. concerning her, will she be more hurt by you keeping mum, or telling her? depends on how much you care about your relationship and where 'the truth' stands between you. my experience is...the hardest thing has usually turned out to be the right thing in the long run.
Well my wife would be krushed, thats something i know by 110% And no i will not tell her, and i know she will not find out, this other person is not someone even close to the type of persons we normaly have as friends ect. we have had something simelar years ago when she told a guy she loved him, and we had a huge fight when i found out. But we got over it and now we are a happy family, and no its not an exuse. I know i was a jerk, and as heartless as it might sound i know i will forget it soon enough, its just that it just happend and now im realy confused. My english is not the best, but what i meant where this, should i tell the other lady why i stopped and left like that? dont know why i would want to explain myself for this person. Smart ting would be to say nothing and go on with my life right? still as stupid as it is i actualy feel bad for telling here i would return when i know i will not. have to say that at first i was angry with her, but i had to face the fact that i can not blame her for getting me along, even though i dont know how it happend.
Reb: the hardest thing has usually turned out to be the right thing in the long run. As stupid as it is the hardest thing right now is not to tell the other lady anything. She dont have my number and only my first name and we live in 2 different citys (how ever she knows where i work, but why would she contact me?)
I don't know why you feel any type of loyalty towards that other woman. You sure as hell don't have any commitments to a drunk chick you met at a party and banged while drunk. If you want to text her, text her, but you really don't need to. As for your wife, I'm not sure. Maybe at this point it would be selfish to tell her. I say this because the damage has already been done, and the only real reason you would tell her is for YOU to be relieved of your guilt. If you tell her, I suggest leaving her completely. On the other hand, maybe she deserves to know, but then again, if the deed has already been done, maybe this will be crushing her for no reason. It might be best for you to carry this burden. You can see it as punishment - which you deserve. As you can see I don't know exactly what I'd do in your situation. I'm just offering things to think about. P.s. What the hell is a nattkubb? Do you mean a night club?
yeah, a nattklub is a night club, sorry going abit fast on the fingers from time to time. I will carry it as my punishment, i love my wife and i will not try and risk to lose here. I still dont understand how / why it happend in the first place. When it comes to the other woman im glad to hear that someone thinks there is no commitments involved, ive never done anything like this before ( nor will i do it again ) but i guess 1 of the reasons why im confussed is that i stopped in the middle of the act, just to leave. Felt that was realy realy rude, for doing something like that, even though i dont want anything to do with this woman, never ever again still feels like she deserves some sort of explination. But at the same time i feel like i should stay away and not give here any reason to give me any seccond thoughs when it comes to contacting me. as you so nicely said it: I don't know why you feel any type of loyalty towards that other woman. Have to say it sounds like something towards the thing i realy should do and forget here.
You've been an arse, put it behind you and move on. Why oh why would you even contemplate texting this other woman? It's as Shivaya said, someone you met and that's it!
So after reading what you guys have said ive desided to not send her a text. As stuid as it may be the only reason for me wanting to explain myself to her is that i left without finishing the act or coming back as i said in my little panic state. But then again, if she does this with someone she just have met, she knows hes married ect why would she care? Anyways i will tank everyone of you for the advice. Thanks again *bow*
i would say you have your answer, then. i have left a number of things 'just lay still' when i thought 'if i touch it, i'll mess it up'. i'd say 90% of the time, life goes on pretty good without me touching them. the other 10%, i just have to deal with it. your english is fine. what you are asking and so forth comes across fine. a few generations back one ancester of mine was czech...they could barely speak english in the first two generations in this country. you're doing well at it. wish you the best....
