Instead of continuing my DMT trip reports in my thread titled "2nd DMT Experience", I've decided to just start a new thread and include them all here. Besides the misleading and innapropriate title of that thread, I have many of these to share and considering that I still have plenty of DMT in my posession, will most likely have many more coming in the following weeks. This first trip report was written for another forum of which I have a few friends whom I know both IRL and otherwise rather well and so they are faimiliar with my family members and friends names as well as what I do throughout the day on certain days, so I apologize in advance if any of this is confusing. * Monday Trip # 1 * I'm taking a 'lunch break' at work (smoking a quick cigarette and watching the rain, typing this trip report out in between phone calls) and reflecting on my first DMT trip of the day yesterday, about 10 minutes after I hung up the phone from speaking to Josh while riding on the bus home from work. I had a friend over who I met at my AA meetings. He is a very polite boy, about my age, rather muscular and has tattoos all over. He is soft spoken and kind of shy, but very enthusiastic about psychedelics and his spirituality; we are very similar in that area. Anyway he had invited me to partake in an ayahusca session with some old woman he knows, and I had invited him to a smoked DMT session, and after about a week of considering it in a nervous state, he finally felt ready. I met him at the train station and during the 6 minute walk to my apartment I quickly took him through the pattern, the program, the effects at 25-30mg and the effects at 50+mg. He said he was not sure how far he wanted to go, I told him to just take one hit from the pipe, see how you feel, and make the decision in the moment. We got back and I laid out the large, comfortable jungle blanket across the hard wood floor, put two pillows down against the bottom of the sofa, turned off the television and lit a cigarette to fill the bottom of the pipe with ash. We didn't talk much during this, people usually don't. I sat down close beside him and began to spoon out the DMT crystals into the pipe in roughly 30mg piles, 3 times. I asked him if he wanted to go first, to which he hesitated, so I reassured him and told him I was asking him to go first out of hospitality, that it's best to take it fresh as it's both less harsh and easier to get enough in you. He obliged and I held the pipe to his lips and lit it for him. He took one long large inhalation and I pulled it away, took a second to observe his facial expression (which was blank) and then hit the pipe myself. After I exhaled the smoke, I again looked to him and asked "do you want more?" to which he quickly shook his head to tell me "NO". A very serious expression came on his face and he looked down into his folded legs and closed his eyes; I laid down with my hands behind my head to relax and the ringing was beginning. 2-3 seconds after I laid down, so did he, and sensing that he and I were on equal amounts and going to the same place, felt comfortable to tune him and the rest of my enviorment out, and closed my eyes to watch. The first thing I noticed was the overwhelming sensation DMT brings to both your head, your body (especially your throat and chest) and extremities; it's almost like a mild electrocution with a sort of 'sick' feeling to it, like when you have the flu. I opened my eyes quickly to make sure that I was truly about to go out, and sure enough the ceiling had become a liquid plasma like pink... thing, and so I closed my eyes again to focus on where the real activity goes on. First was the geometric patterns, then the light beings swimming in them, then the flower, the flower began to open up (it's amazing how every time the flower opens for me, it's just like the first time, I don't know what to expect and the most intense pangs of fear arise) and I slowly started to go through it. As this was happening, the golden / amber light turned on from behind me (the very same light, and from the same source, as in the shared hallucination Aura and I experienced in the teepee and I again during several trips) and I saw Sophia in my visions waving to me, asking me to come back. I opened my eyes again, as no matter how prepared I think I am, no matter how many times I do this drug, the fear of going through the flower / tunnell never goes away, it's just as bizarree and terrifying and in fact gets weirder and more difficult for me in repeat experiences and your sense of reason, your sense of "this is just a drug, it only lasts 5 minutes, it's not real and even if it is real it can't actually 'physically' harm me, I'm not 'really' dying" is completely taken away from you. I saw my living room again though it was 100% moving and dancing with life, totally animated and spirit beings where peeking out of everything in the room, from the room itself. Assured that I was not dying, I closed my eyes again and resumed right where I had attempted to leave off, going through the flower. This time, as I was going through it, I came into a space filled with cascading waves colliding into each other made up of neon flurescent lights with infinite tiny pockets of universes spiralling in pixelated squares, triangles and rectangles which all together formed a massive wired network, and in the midst of this (as if superimposed against this space as a backdrop) was a hill with a forest on top of / beyond it, and sitting in lotus position at the top of the hill was an ayahuasquero. I walked up this hill to him, fully aware that I was in fact lying down yet simulteanously, I was fucking 'walking' up the mother fucking hill to this native dude, and as I came upon him I began to speak, and asked him the following question; "If this is the most fundamental layer of our reality, if this is in fact the electromagnetic field, the sum total of emissions from my DNA that constitutes my personality, why is it all like ...." the .... is because I didn't uses to words to eplain what "it all like" was, but rather I put my two hands up to the sides of my head, pointed my fingers inward as if in position JUST about to grab my head from each side, and began to violently shake them, sort of I guess to symbolise having a seizure, or showing intense pressure, massive amounts of stress and insanity. The ayahuasquero looked at me for a moment, a quick one, and then suddenly burst into laughter. He never said anything, he just laughed... at me? At what I was trying to imply? At what I was feeling? At the DMT experience itself? At my belief that this is the realm of the microscopic, rather then a bunch of phosphene imaginative interpretations into which I project archeytypes that my brain despereately clings to out of an inability to navigate and function comfortably in this realm? I have no idea, but at the time I understood, and I felt that he was laughing because it was just the way it is, and it's foolish to constantly torture myself by trying to use logic and reason to project some kind of order onto the chaotic nature of not only the DMT experience, but Nature itself/herself/himself. Feeling that he was right, that I was foolish to have been blessed with such a wealth of psychedelic journeys into this realm and yet still remain fascinated by the turmoil each and every single time I step over into it, I began to laugh with him. While we were laughing, everything started shimmering, my mother-of-pearl goggles came on and I began to feel my body glowing and buzzing again. There was a very sexually charged vision / body experience that came next, which happened again even more intense when Aura and I smoked it later on last night, our round 2, my round 3. I felt my own personal nature, my minds way of identifying as both a boy and a girl, the reflection of that reality in the form of my body and the way I dress, my mannerisms, and my sexuality itself in a raw, unfiltered way. There was nothing orgasmic or really even overtly sexual about these visions / sensations, but I knew in a sense that it was sexual and that I was being hyper charged with sexual energy and passion. This was the peak of the trip, I assume about 2 - 2.5 minutes in. The next 7 - 10 minutes I began to come back down to Earth and the visions were much like dream sequences, coming to an abrupt and very sharp end. I do recall the dream images here but they are far too numerous to share, it's just like having a dream sober during REM sleep, a thousand life times go by in a few seconds, seemingly disconnected, random and with no much to be interpreted. After this my friend and I opened our eyes and looked over at each other. My friend was obviously profoundly shook up by the experience, and to his own admission, had been terrified and deeply disturbed, however, being a seasoned psychedelic explorer he had expected as much and was totally ok. It took another 2 minutes or so before he could spit the words out properly to express himself, and by then Aura and Sophia joined us from the bedroom and while my friend discussed his visions to my ex, I gave my daughter a huge hug and a million kisses all over her head and smiled, thankful to God, thankful to the ayahuasquero, thankful to whatever it is. As I mentioned, I went on to have 3 more deep DMT experiences last night, all 3 of which were far more intense and insane then this. This was only slightly challenging, to the point that I hesitate to even call it as such, especially in comparison to my 4th and final trip of the evening in which the elves appeared immediately upon exhalation and shook their heads at me, telling me that I was not welcome and themselves appearing to be terrified of what was about to occur to me. I will write all 3 out in detail when I get the time, they are much harder to put to words and there was countless more visions in each.
Very nice report! You really have the ability to write in such a way that it's interesting to read it throughout. I myself have never experienced really 'elves' but in both of my breakthroughs there were human like beings, with arms and legs but no texture. Just lines over their bodies and chess like patterns. They keep on weaving their arms and telling me that whenever or however I would come to that place, they will be there welcoming me. This brought so much love and peace to me and I kept on thanking them. I don't know how big my doses are. I just put in about half to a whole teaspoon in the glass pipe, heat it alot, and after that inhale while holding a lighter beneath it. IMMENSE amount of smoke starts to form and after 1 toke I'm out. Immediately there. No transition. I wonder how much I get in one of those experiences...
Well thank you very much! My only remaining passion in life actually is writing, it's something I take very seriously and hope someday to use to make a living. This report was written in a hurry, but even when I don't have time for proper spell checking, structure and poetic expressions, I still try my best not to bore people out of interest. Again, thank you very much friend! To be quite honest, they only ever really looked like elves twice, every other time they didn't even have faces, or masks, or took facial expressions out of the surrounding 'things' lol. I just call them elves because it's the simplest term I can think of to conjur the image of those tiny synchronised dancing shifting beings in peoples minds. Sometimes they are within the fabric of the visions, entirely without form, just sort of "popping" out of the patterns. This happens to me often as well, sometimes when I don't think that I've taken enough to breakthrough, sure enough I'm 100% there without having any transition. Just, breathe out the smoke, close my eyes and within a second or two the beings are before mye. It's strange because last night, the last 2 trips I went through (the 3rd and 4th ones which I will write about soon) were within just a few minutes of each other, and that 4th trip was definitely the most intense. I took only one, VERY large hit, quickly went back to the pillow, and the intense fear hit me right away as my OEV's immediately went spiralling out of control; it was like nothing else I'd ever experienced before with DMT. In fact, it was quite like a psilocybin experience I remember from about 3 years ago, during the peak. Just, everything, the whole enviorment was collapsing in upon me, I couldn't even make out a book on the shelf two feet away from me, the whole scenery exploded and it was VERY violent and painful. I had the problem breathing and with sitting still for a few seconds, my body remained mostly motionless but I turned my head to the right (to the bookshelf) to try and grasp onto something familiar and 'solid', some object that wasn't in neon flames lol, but it did not work and of course I was forced to surrender to it. As soon as this happened though, as soon as I saw the elves shake their heads in disapproval, I realized I was in trouble and should not have so quickly come back to the DMT world. With all other psychedelic drugs I have at least some ability to realize what is going on and, not exactly 'control' the visions or the thought flow, but somewhat aid in directing it, but with DMT and especially during this trip, it was like watching a program unfold before me, like a movie in my head was started and there was no possible way to alter what comes to the screen during a movie lol, so I just bit my tongue and held on for dear life, hoping it would not cause me to have seizures (this is due to bad memory associated with mushroom use, when I actually did have seizures due most likely to infection or something, and now I can't help but associate that feeling with the memory, like a truama I guess).
Haha great to be having a writer share his(/her?) experiences. Due to the complexity of explaining one, it is very entertaining to read them of one capable of using the appropiate words. In my first breakthrough I was just flying to a square shaped tunnel with 90 degree turns. In that place there were those beings I saw, but only their upper half. As if I was lying on a bed with them inspecting me(I believe this is one of the main explanations of people experiencing alien abduction/probing in bed time). As long as you give in, this does not have to be a bad experience at all. In my second breakthrough I was quite scared, because I did not anticipate on a breakthrough. Suddenly the feeling of one struck me, and it all came back to me. All the feelings and memories of my first breakthrough which were forgotten immediately came back. I was very scared. My friend, who is not a good sitter, was sitting next to me and I asked him to talk to me. I did not matter what he would say, just say something so I can relate that to the physical world and have a 'safe zone'. He couldn't really bother talking random crap so he didn't. More frightness struck me, having lost hope I surrendered to the breakthrough and closed my eyes. I found myself in a unlimited wide place, with a height of about 2-3 meters. The floor was black/greyish, with the texture of those fuzzy floors you find in theaters often. It was very comforting. I had a 180 degree vision and about 5 meters away from me a bunch of 'elves' with a chess pattern on their bodies started weaving their arms, with their back a little bit bend forward. They did not say a thing but I knew what their intensions were, some sort of telepathy. A big influence on my trip was a song called Avril 14th by Aphex Twin; it's a piano solo and very comforting when put on repeat . The sensation of not being able to relate to anything in the physical world is very scary. To be in an unfamiliar world with both your eyes open and closed, and not being able to escape as in a dream is simply terrifying. On my first trip I had those amazing CEV's I described earlier, and with my eyes open everything was in 8 Bit. That was so freaky. Everything was in huge pixels. Even my sitter, the television(which was turned on to avoid awkwardness to the sitter, but on a low volume) and the cat on the couch. Everything. Apparently I said: ''This is impossible? This is not real!''. Another thing I would like to add is that after my second breakthrough I smoked a joint. Never, EVER commit to such! When I got stoned I had flashbacks and playbacks on my DMT trip. I had the feeling that everyone and everything around me was just a projection of my mind, but being in a higher state. That it was a production of me, that I created this world because actually I am a lone being that got in a state so lonely, that it created a world for himself. I have never felt so lonely in my entire life, and I could not think of a worse feeling than that. That was 3 months ago and that feeling still lingers a tiny bit and prevents me of doing DMT again. Still got about half a gram and 1.5kg Mimosa(good for ~15 grams, oops!). I hope this resides.. I'm looking forward to your next trip reports!
Monday Trip# 2 After the first trip, my friend and I went to our 8pm Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. I’ve gone to the meeting before after smoking DMT, and I always smile when I hear the speaker tell his or her life story and get excited during the relaying of how he or she found God and had a most profound spiritual awakening after quitting drugs and alcohol. I’m not there to judge or to analyze the way AA works, and so I try my best not to think anything contrary or express my own belief; I cannot afford any other form of treatment, AA is free, and so I go with an open mind and keep my opinions to myself. During the break, my friend commented on how he could see some kind of electric light grid juxtaposed with the reality of the club house room, and I told him that it was visible to me as well, that I always get some lingering neon effects after smoking DMT, especially when reading. It was pouring rain by the time the meeting came to an end, and luckily my friend was able to give me a ride to the gas station near my apartment. I grabbed two single litre bottles of soda and walked the three blocks to my home. My daughter was asleep, and Aura asked if I wanted to smoke again, I consented and decided to wait a bit. My back had gone out on Sunday afternoon so I wanted to rest a bit first, it’s still in a lot of pain as I write this and during rain storms it gets much worse (I have three herniated disks and arthritis spreading in my lower back). Filling my head with all sorts of bizarre information by reading a bunch of material concerned with DMT and looking over some Peruvian textile images, I decided to jump back in after about maybe an hour. Aura and I spread out the jungle blanket again, put down the two red pillows in the same positions, and sat down next to each other with the pipe and lighter in hand. She went first, and we both took 2 large hits before lying down. It came on without any nervous or uncomfortable sensations this time, and remained that way throughout the entire duration of the trip. The first vision to manifest on my eye lids was of very complex organic machinery with hundreds of tiny, intricate, interlocking parts all working together to do something which was well beyond my comprehension. There were hundreds of microscopic beings operating the dials, fat square switches, and plugs that reminded me of the patch chords of a modular analog synthesizer. The entire scene was outlined by rapidly flowing veins, covered by tiny fuzzy fibers, and filled with a moving path of what looked like cells that had each an iris and a pupil. I watched this activity of beings operating a very large machine, broken down into a bunch of individual units, for a bit, thinking to myself how interesting it all is, when suddenly my entire perception, slowly at first but with increasing speed, zoomed out several thousand times, as if I was looking through a microscope, and revealed to me that I was in fact looking at what I interpreted in the moment as the axis mundi, in the form of a massive tree positively on fire with billions of different forms of behavior. The most mind blowing thing about this experience was that during the beginning of the zooming out from it, when it was going slowly, I saw so many of these little machines with beings operating them all over that I was in total awe; I couldn’t understand, or believe, that it was possible to see so much detail at once. It was breath taking. What followed this initially was a replacement that totally wiped that screen clear to a white background, with some kind of cartoon like sequences of these two dimensional anthropomorphic beings interacting in some bizarre fashion that I do not really remember so vividly, but they were themselves white, against a bright white background that fluctuated in brilliancy, and they were only discernable by an outline of multicoloured fluorescent zigzags. This in turn became similar to textile being kaleidoscopic fractal patterns which greatly resembled some of the images I had been looking at. I started to feel like I was going inside out, or falling into myself while looking at these patterns that stretched to encompass the totality of my peripheral vision, when I decided to open my eyes. The strangest part of this trip occurred next, as I blinked and began to observe my surroundings, I realized that I was outside, that it was night time, and I was looking at the aurora borealis dancing before the stars. To my left and to my right were standing two massive polar bears and I put my hands to my belly in response to intense pangs of nausea. When I looked down I saw that I was covered in fur clothing; I was an Eskimo woman, in the middle of labor, aided by two bear’s lol. It was like something out of a Coca Cola Christmas commercial mixed with a National Geographic show. The strange thing was that it was not typically psychedelic in the least; it looked and felt totally real. This passed shortly after and I was back to normal, I could see Aura and we both remained silent, looking about us for a few more minutes. My body was glowing and felt totally pain free, no back pain, as if I had been anesthetized while on a heavy dose of MDMA. Before smoking again, we shared our visions, and just before putting the pipe to my full lips, tingly with pleasure, Aura said to me, “Just as I was coming out of the vision of beings, toward the end of the trip, I saw nothing but soft blue and white, and all I kept thinking was ‘glaciers, glaciers,… and snow.” Needless to say I was stunned. Trip # 3 to follow, hopefully today.
Well, to explain it because it's somewhat confusing online, I am a boy. I'm gay, somewhat bisexual, I have a very feminine figure, and dress in an androgynous way. I don't consider myself exactly transexual, but I do wear things like barrettes, hair pins, and a tiara, I use lip gloss and I always rocking my short shorts So I'm considered by my ex and some friends as a boy princess lol. I came out just over a month ago, I have two children and it was a very difficult thing to do. I'm about to turn 26 and I've known I was gay since I was 12. It's funny how after coming out, I got to process this massive change to my life with a few grams of DMT. I have pictures on my profile if anyone is curious as to what I mean. It's been a very difficult process but I am now comfortable with myself and feeling much healthier and happier, no longer so self destructive and tortued by my own confision and fear of rejection.
No problem! I greatly enjoying sharing my experiences and reading or hearing others! Unfortunately, I've come to accept that I just can not get out onto paper or into the computer any description of the final trip that evening. It was all over the place and nowhere at the same time. Just too overwhelming and bizarre, no insight to gleam or anything like that. It's sad because it was something I feel should be shared, it was not like any of my other 50+ DMT trips nor like any that I've ever heard or read about from others. "Too much" is about all I can say, it was disturbing but easily recovered from within minutes, just enough to get me to lay off for a few days. I recently had a hypnogogic episode (this past Sunday? Or maybe Monday?) that involved an open eyes experience very VERY similar to that DMT trip; I remember during the 'after dream world' part, trying to get off the sofa to go and have a cigarette out front and constantly falling down (as if gravity was greatly intensified) and the room was all concave to convex inside to outside upside down and backwards and so on. When I would finally get to the door, I would turn around and see that I was in fact still lying on the (breathing, growing, animated tendril grasping fern growing) sofa, looking at myself looking at myself; vision would blur and run to and fro between 'myselves' and I'd wake up on the sofa again, to repeat the process several times before I actually 'woke up'. I've had this happen many times with sleep paralysis before smoking DMT though, so I don't necessarily assume the two experiences are related, though I don't discount the possibility either. Anyway I will surely be smoking DMT again this week, and afterward will of course come back here to relay the details.
'twas nice, very nice! I haven't smoked any more since mid June, and I'm considering smoking again tomorrow. Or tonight, depending on how I end up.
