I have studied altered states for several years and have had many experiences with and without substances, but one of the most powerful and bizarre are those states I find myself in during sex/masturbation and climax. If the states of arousal and climax aren't altered states, I don't know what else to call them. During states of arousal many of us find ourselves willing and wanting to do odd things - things we would never really think about in the "normal" waking moment. And if you have several "fetishes" or compulsion (as do I), you find yourself submitting completely to them whether they be sadistic or masochistic. For example during masturbation, I often find myself desiring to become a complete slave to a beautiful woman and to be degraded or humiliated by her, but usually during climax I become a beast and very sadistic wanting to spank, hold her down or sometimes call her degrading names. It is a very sadomasochistic experience, but it is extremely exhilarating. Also, I have started using a meditative technique during masturbation that brings on euphoria at climax - recently I had two words simultaneously pop in my mind at climax "Axiom Tyrum." I found out immediately afterward that the word 'tyrum' meant *urban dictionary nonetheless* a sort of tantrum, while axiom was, of course, a self-evident 'truth' (so to speak). Was the climax a self-evident truth tantrum? Also, during climax of sex and masturbation I have visited the darker recesses of my mind as well. I could see how certain 'bad people' do certain things in the moment of lustful climax. __________________
Good posting & well written. I fully understand what you are saying, as I have never really understood how the minds work of those whose need to go through all the S&M procedure or other weird fetishes before they can get anywhere. It's one thing to yearn for certain fetishes, such as the use of sex toys, for instance, as a supplement to sex or masturbation, but quite another, and regrettably not uncommon, to be physically incapable otherwise. Obviously, when such activities are between consenting partners, regardless of how weird it may be, then they're not hurting anyone else (at least not in the real sense). What really is a problem, though, are those who are driven to force themselves on others, such as in the case of rape, or with paedophiles, whether it be forced or through grooming, where the minor believes him or herself to be consentual. I believe the 'Altered State' you refer to probably has something to do with the deep seated animal instincts that lurk in the depths of all our psyches, such as the time when I lost my virginity. I was 23 & was being molested by a woman in her mid-40s. I was scared & was doing my best to resist, which only seemed to encourage her all the more, but eventually I reached a point where my animal instincts took over & I couldn't resist any longer, at which point I became the dominant partner & assumed the Missionary Position.
Thanks. I appreciate your comments. Yes, I agree - when it comes to forcing others, I think is where you need to set the limits. I have many 'fetishes', but I don't HAVE to have them to get off. I fantasize a lot, but my partner indulges in my fetishes and fantasies and we have a very experimental and fun sex life.
