In 1968, the Beatles went on a retreat in Rishikesh, India, to study transcendental meditation with the Maharishi. Ringo left shortly after it started; he was totally disinterested. Paul left a few weeks after Ringo, I think, but for John and George, it was a truly spiritual experience, especially for George. A few years ago I had this epiphany of sorts, which led me to meditation and to seeking higher consciousness. It's been such a milestone in my life, and for me is the key to happiness and to peace. I've since met someone I love very much, and I would love for her to come on this journey with me. I know that she's mildly interested, but it's no more than that. I'd love to encourage her to join me in my consciousness endeavours, but I know that if she feels forced or pushed, then I have not succeeded in the slightest. Today she told me that she feels like I'm pushing her, and I feel like I've failed both of us, but I so desperately do not want to leave me life-mate behind as I seek to better myself and achieve mental clarity. She feels that it's not necessary to meditate on a daily basis, whereas I feel that and have read in numerous sources that meditation is something you set aside time for, something that must be a priority. Basically, I don't want the love of my life to be my Ringo or Paul, but I also know that it's not something I can make happen. What should I do? Has anybody else been in this situation? Peace.
Don't force her. Forcing her will be harmful to her and to your relationship. I beleive there is more to gain if you seek a healthy relationship with her. Also, realise that most traditionnal meditation teaching can be harmful for most women. Women's emotion fluctuate fast, and tradition tells them to calm down and repress their inner waves. I suggest you read this : http://lorinroche.com/page46/page46.html
Do. Not. Push. All roads lead to Rome. Let her find her own road. And walk some of it with her - you might learn something.
Thank you. I was actually meditating the other day when this occurred to me. Who's to say I'm even right? I completely agree that forcing is the wrong way to go. The mere notion of forcing her to do anything is so upsetting to me anyway, let alone over this. I know that she's curious about what I'm doing; I think I should probably stop worrying and let it be. Thanks again. Pax vobiscum.
We are all on our own private spiritual journey and the only people that we can change is ourselves. If you follow your path and she sees notable differences and results within you then she may very well walk with you. If not... that is fine too but you can't use her as an excuse to not follow your path.
I met George once and talked with him at length about his spirituality. It was on the set of the movie, "Checking Out," which he produced. It was funny because he just did a cameo as an extra pushing a mop around in a school scene. He is a Hare Krishna. But not of the Hare Krishna movement. He had a four foot long strand of sandalwood beads which originally had deep grooves in them. He had worn them smooth from japa. Now, do you think he made everyone do meditation? Some people cannot sit still, or enjoy the lack of a definite goal. My wife is Catholic. I am Buddhist. Though previously I was Hindushmindu, meaning mainly Hindu. She didn't bug me about it, and I returned the favor and never bugged her. We have been together for 20+ years. Your religion and practice isn't indicated for your spouse. My wife always said, "I am my own spirit!" And frankly, after 20 years I am glad she doesn't meditate. There could be no better spouse, and she isn't taking lots of time meditating when I want to do other things. And I have learned over time that we are both our own spirits. And nobody elses. Best of both worlds, Ole Chappy. You do not know what could happen if you forced any form of meditation upon her, as simple and profound as it is for you. Not exact, but meditation is like acid - some people will bad trip off it. If you have love then "Let it be." If you become, or are, a devoted meditator, or yogi, then that should smooth things out for the both of you. If you are making friction then you're proving that meditation isn't doing much. Besides it's all about your self, and some people have stronger identities than others. So be happy. Now you can meditate and go to lunch right after instead of waiting another 6 hours until her supreme Vipissana is over. You're a lucky person. And it would be kindly of you to not judge others as many nonmeditators are more evolved and generous than meditators. I mean just consider the facts, you already are subtracting whatever time you meditate from serving others. As an example. I would never disrespect meditation.
as some scruffy guys who once in the while got shown the light said: that path is for your steps alone.
My wife was the same way when I started meditating. She was dead set in her beliefs and would not listen to what I was telling her as I moved along on my journey of discovery. I started watching TV shows about ghosts, people who have survived bodily death and come back, and UFOs as well as shows about science, outer space, psychic detectives (she really likes watching detective shows), etc. She will often leave the room when these shows are on, but also watches them with me on occasion. It has really dramatically changed her perspective from strongly rejecting the information I was telling her to a general acceptance that there is much she doesn't know and that there must be some truth to what these shows are telling us. I don't try to shove it down her throat or make her do anything she doesn't want to do. I just treat it like any other subject we discuss and think of it more as passing along information that I have learned and find fascinating rather than something I think she needs to participate in. She's starting to eat healthier and is way more open minded than at the start. Take your time and let her know that your relationship is as important to you as anything else you are doing.
Nirvana is individual sense of fulfilment – As much as one yearns for the mutual appreciation of a lover, trying to impart the satisfaction to someone else seldom works. It seems to me that accepting another’s belief and feeling contentment in their happiness should be enough. Any forcing of the issue may drive a wedge between any unions. Keeping one’s conviction is admirable though any persuasion for others should be tempered with a degree of respect for their non-agreement - methinks
