So a few months ago my ex and I broke up after 2.5 years of a very serious relationship. I honestly thought he was my soul mate, and he almost proposed to me. But he cheated on me and "fell out of love" so I left him to become happier with myself. He's still seeing this girl and it hurts badly. But now I'm to the point where I'm seeing other guys. But my number one issue with all the men I have talked to is that they aren't intelligent enough. I know this sounds harsh but I love to discuss/debate more intellectual topics and when I attempt to they either say "I just don't know/care enough about that topic" or they make a joke out of everything. It's so frustrating because I'm still use to my ex. We had countless intellectual discussions and agreed on nearly everything. Now my question is is it wrong to be this picky? Am I just wanting something too soon? Is it so terrible to feel this way? I'm only 18, going off to college, so I'm just waiting for someone to come along I guess. Oh, and I know someone is going to say that I should be just dating around, and to that I say that I am. I just want to be appreciated on an intellectual basis too. There's this guy that I like, and we're seeing each other, but he's just too pushy to get into something serious. And I know he isn't the one, so is it good to just "waste" my time?
When I was in high school one of my teachers promulgated that we all are searching for the one special to marry regardless of our proposition or intent in formulating a relationship with others. You might think that someone is only a "fuck-buddy" or someone to "waste time with;" but, love can not be ordered and it often happens when you least expect it. Love happens and then you struggle to hold on to it. Thomas
It is definitely not wrong to be picky. and u have every right to expect guys u're dating to be in your [intellectual] league. i mean, u don't have to feel bad for thinking that someone is not enough talkative to your taste. However, considering your history with your ex and the fact that u sound like u are not over him, it is very possible that u subconsciously keep comparing other guys to him and that they never live up to your expectations simply because they are not him. i've been there, it can be upsetting but it's only a phase. all in all, everything u said sounds very normal to me. be patient, have fun, don't worry
time = distance / speed therefore: time to mend a broken heart = chose the next guy who walks into the room and screw him after like one date it's maths, yo
Thanks everyone, you are all right. It's hard to get over someone if you feel replaced. There's only one guy that I don't find myself comparing to my ex, really. Thanks for that enlightening bit lmao
if your ex cheated and "fell out of love", it's probably a sign that there was something wrong with the relationship. it might help you a lot with future relationships if you figure out what went wrong there are lots of smart people who don't necessarily want to debate a lot. I don't think you should assume that someone is not intelligent if they don't want to debate. regardless, it sounds like you want a debater so go to college and join a debate club, take lots of philosophy classes, etc. I'm sure you'll find someone who fits the bill what you want may evolve over time. if you keep an open mind, there may be other qualities that are more valuable to you. or you may be satisfied with less debating, or finding debates and discussions outside of your relationship
