The Missionaries Won't Leave Me Alone

Every Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday I have missionaries knocking on my door to convert me to Christianity or read bible verses to me.

Today I opened the door and these people just started reading a bible verse to me without so much as a "hello".

I quickly responded by saying, "Satan will win the war" and slammed the door in their faces.

No I am not a Satanist. I am an atheist.

I just want to know if this was a rational response. I'm just sick of these people annoying me all day! I get 3-7 visits each week!!

What would YOU do?

 

Answer the door naked and fully erected

 

Learn the name of at least 2 of their churches and the pastors there, shouldn't be too hard, they let anyone in and you can pretend you left the oven on for a quick exit. Next time they knock, say you already share their faith in the lord with a soft smile. When they ask you which church you attend, say the name of one of the churches, if they say "that's our church, too!" say "Oops, I meant to say (other church), I only said (their church) because I met Pastor (whatever) last week and I was just thinking about him! Well, take it easy, guys, I have to go back inside because I'm looking after my baby brother. Good luck out there! God bless you!"

 

+1

 

What dark sugar said .... then ask them if they would like to perform their good christian duties on their knees ....

 

i dont answer ...I can see them coming up the street and just let them knock and knock and knock until they give up


never had "missionaries" or LDS here though...always just JW's

 

I like to talk to them about their religion, and how they feel about religion causing so many problems in the world today. I like to talk to them about where the proof of God is. How their religion is so much better than any other? How they feel about a religion taking away people's own spiriual abilities and letting a pastor decieve and make you believe thay through him you are hearing God's message. Who the fuck made that fat, ignorant fascist scum run this church?

 

Sugar's got a good point but if the sight of a missionary makes you lose your boner answer the door naked with a knife in your hand and covered with some kinda blood. Tell them you already have some missionaries in the back room you're talking to.

 

or you could just respect the fact that they actually believe its their duty to try and convert

no amount of arguing or acting like an idiot will convince them that you are right and they are wrong

 

You just say "Thank you but I already have a church home" and shut the door.

 

Converse with them in jibberish until they go away.

 

I always like arguing with them.

"if you can reason with religious people, there wont be religious people"-House

 

Well Bbad ya got a point but I really just wish they would have enough respect for me to get a hint when I tell them I have my own belief system. It really ain't a matter of right or wrong, just respect enough to back off.

 

Something that seems to have vanished here.

With the exception of the Salvation Army, I havent encountered a door knocker since my teens

 

My great grandma used toi tel them, "We're Catholic." and slam the door in their face. I've learned enough about religion after 12 years of Catholic school that I could start an Inquisition against unsuspecting door knockers and explain to them why their going to burn in hell for their heretical teachings if I wanted some lulz. But I usually just refuse to answer the door.

 

I don't answer the door. I used to just tell them I was not interested, but after they accused me of liking evil, I don't bother.

Arguing with insane people will not get you anywhere. Telling me I love Satan will get you labelled insane by me.

 

You love Satan.

 

Thanx.