Exceptable dress

the way you dress, does create a perception of what you are...our appearance is fully symbolic and society picks up on those symbols to convey a conception of people's identity. It is misleading i agree but remember that this world is about appearances because it's the first way of interaction - what you might wear may have repercutions on the views of society and that happens with women who dress in a provocative way; society sees them as "easy" or "gagging for it"
I have no problem with women who like to dress like that cos they feel comfortable as i said before, but i dont agree with teenager girl who dresses like that for the wrong reasons (attention)...i'm not saying they should dress like nuns, but just leave something for the imagination, that makes it nicer

 

I think that adults should be able to dress however they want. It's none of my business...but children (teenagers) on the other hand, I think a bit of modesty is not only acceptable but neccessary. A 14 yr old has no business dressing sexy. The problem is, "sexy" clothes are getting younger and younger. I can find skirts and shorts for my 6 yr old that would show her ass if she bent over. My step-daughter came over for thanksgiving dinner at grandma's house this year. It was about 40 degrees outside that night. She had on a SHORT plaid skirt (Brittney Spears style) and knee-high boots on. Her mother thought that was acceptable dress for a 6 YR OLD! She had no business wearing something so skimpy...especially when it's cold outside.


Like I said, I could care less what adult women wear. Hell, I don't ever wear a bra. But children should dress appropriately. There is no reason they should dress sexually attractive.

 

one of my lecturers at uni commented on this ^ she went shopping for her youngest daughter who's like 5 years old and in the childrens section of the shop they had BRAS!! for girls aged 4!!! boobs grow 10 years later, please what the fuck is going on with this world man!

 

The sexualization of children... ^^^^... that's so wrong, it makes me want to hurl. I can understand kids being in a hurry to grow up - weren't we all? But why would parents support that and buy them clothes/makeup/whatever that push them along? It's like kids just can't be kids anymore - they have to be "sexy" from the time they're in full-day school. It's sick.

 

i wear what i want, when i want, where i want.

if you have a certain level of self confidence, then that's all you need. no amount of nay-sayers will affect you in the least.

maybe that's why i don't get all into these kinds of conversations. i'd rather take up arms against the pay gap than women wearing short skirts.

 

oh and I must say there's definitley a difference between dressing slutty and dressing sex. ie low cut top and longer skirt or shorter skirt and turtle neck. If you show your legs off don't show your clevage. a really good book to read that my grandma got me when I was a teeenager is 'chram-better than beauty'

 

RG grrl I understand exactly what you are saying, and in a perfect world that would be true. I also beleive a womyn (or anyone else) should wear what they want and not be judged, but "should" doesn't make it happen. We live in a sexist world, and womyn are judged harshly, by men and by other womyn. It doesn't mean that we shouldn't try to change things, but that the way things are, acting like they are different doesn't usually change them.

I think, as Nova said, changing ALL expectations of womyn will make this a nonissue in the future.

Years ago, in the 60s my aunt was asked to leave a resturant for wearing a pants suit. The Matre D told her to "go home and put on a dress like a lady!" things have changed. But there is still a lot to go.

As for clothes for kids. JEEZ. Looking for stuff for Sage is almost impossible. Belly shirts with "Hottie" written on it, for a FIVE year old? I have ended up waiting for sales at Marshal Fields as the quality is better and the selection is more classic than the MTV inspired shit at K Mart. Who puts a little child in leopard print pants and high heels? I guess some people do, if that is what they sell. I actually walked out of K Mart in the fall, as I could find nothing for Sage I found appropriate. (I don't buy licensed cartoon charater stuff either, so there was nothing to buy her there.)

 

the oversexulization of children is clearly shown through the clothing that's availible. some of the clothing they make for little girls is disgusting. If you have a gap kids outlet near by they're dirt cheap and have very appropriatte clothing for little girls. Some of their styles and colors are exactly the same as the clothes at the adult gap store so it makes for an embarassing situation sometimes as I work with kids and love the gap.

 

Why is the girl more at fault than the people who ridicule her?
How does that make any sense?

 

I'm pretty sure most of you girls would have worn dresses that showed yyour ass when you were 6, girls havebeeing wearing things like that throughout the century, it doesnt mean sex. its just clothes... I'm sure you havent been vastly affected by the length of your skirt at age 6.

I mean you can see examples in old telly shows and family photographs.
Its not like short dresses and skirts are new.. children have always worn them.

As for the sexualisation of children, it seems that it probably has more to do with grown women making youthful appearence sexy rather than young gilrs dressing as grown women.

I mean, presenting grown women, for example in pornography, dressed in bobby socks and school girl uniforms only creates a scenario in which these things are sexy. School girls themselves arent 'sexy' , its the context that grown women place these clothes in. Its just creating norms pertaining to what is sexy and desirable.

Another thing, and dont get me wrong, I believie that women should do what they like with their hair, but shaving the pubic region and presenting it in sexually explicit material only creates a norm in which a child like appearence is sexy and desirable...

Grown women dressed as children are more of a problem than young girls dressed as women.... If your going to see it as a problem

 

i don't like clothes. i like wearing not very much, but i try not to go overboard and mothers always here to stop that. I walk aroud in a sarong and bathing suit top in the summer. or a halter or a tube top. i wore a tank top today. it was 45 degrees out. am i a whore? i don think so. no one really pays much attention to me, not being of especialy impressive build, so what do i care? i enjoy being comfortable tho, and i'm willing to look a little risque ( or covered up, as the case may be) in order to do so.

 

In some ways you are right. Look at a Shirley Temple movie or a little rascals shorttie. The little girls in the depression wore VERY short skirts, as little girls did not wear pants back then, it was a matter of having the dress out of the way, not sexuality. And the media certainly didn't sexualize womyn or children the way they do today. MY mama never let me wear miniskirts a a child (I was a child in the 60s, I was 6 in 1968, the height of the miniskirt.) She thought it would sexualize me to the wrong people.

TOTALLY! This is one of my personal sticking points with pornography. This practice is sick and it DOES sexualize children, as IMO does pubic shaving.

RG Grrl I TOTALLY agree with what you are saying, and I am NOT a status quo supporter, but, in the real world, we have to often work THROUGH the status quo to change things. In some ways (this isn't OT wait for my point) I think we can challenge and change the quo by subverting it. For instance, I breastfed my kids in public every chance I got to help normalize, it figured more people seeing it wouild desexualize it. But I feel uncomfortable in other aspects, especially when a womyn's or child's saftey is in danger. I WISH there were no danger to womyn who dress certain ways, their shouldn't be, but as Nova said, we have to work in other ways to change the status quo about expectations. As it stands now, dressing a certain way does make some people have an expectation. NOT that we should cater to them, only that we should be careful.

I dress "hippy." This, at times makes some ignorant people think I am a druggie or am going to be shoplifting. (I have seen ladies at department stores follow me around, to "make sure" I am not stealing anything.) I think if we are going to challenge status quo with our appearance, we need to choose the setting carefully, and have our behavior exemplary. I am extra nice and polite when I dress "hippy" to help change people's expectations. When I BF my children in public, I smiled a lot, made eye contact with people and gave them little reason to think that I thought I was doing anything outside the normal.

Expectations of womyn are impossible for us to live up to. As Nova said again, there are other issues besides this one. BUT, I think they are all related.

Blessings,

Maggie

 

totally agree, they are DEFINITELY all related.

it's just always been my opinion that working toward change by saying "well i can dress however i want, and everyone should respect me just because!" but then at the same time 1) not having the confidence level to get past the cat-calls and girls calling you a slut, and 2) not realizing WHY women are looked at, isn't really going to get you anywhere.

women's dress is more the iceberg in the situation, there are core issues that have to change before women's dress can come into play, imo.

 

I believe that you're all wrong, i don't personally dress like that but i think everyone has the right to dress how they prefer for whatever reason and not get judged by it!!! After all men get away with murder....
Girl power xxx

 

haha did you even read this thread?

 

i think adults who want to dress sexy and or trashy should have a right to do so, as long as they are prepared to deal with the inevitable responses of other people. i have the obligatory "hooker boots", etc, and when i wear them, i know certain people are going to make assumptions about me. i'm an adult, i'm not advertising myself (i'm happily married), and frankly, i don't give a shit about what strangers think of my clothing choices, so this has never been a problem for me.

i do have a huge problem with children and young teenagers dressing very provocatively. i have a five year old niece who is fairly large for her age. she wears about a little girl's size eight. the only clothes i can find for her are teeny little tops that say things like "i love boys", or "i'm a hottie". ick. she's still a baby. she can't even read the words on her shirt.

her older sisters are 14 year old twins. i have the same problem for them. everything in the stores are very very tight (and short), and say provocative things on them. the girls thankfully don't dress sleezy, but it really is hard to find decent looking, nongeeky clothes for them.

 

I've not seen anyone close to my age post on this thread (I haven't had time to read ALL the posts, so forgive me if I'm wrong in that aspect) But I thought I'd offer an opinion from someone who is a little younger and sees these things more closely...


As a freshmen in highschool this year, I see a lot of "punk" girls dressing in short plaid skirts, black tube tops, dying their hair black, wearing knee high boots, ect ect ect, and I see their younger siblings back in elementary and middle school doing the same. I can see the older high school girls doing it, (kinda) but 10 or 11 year old girls going to SCHOOL like that?! (and it's even WORSE when teachers do things like that... I've seen many teachers in the middle and high school wear skirts so short you'll see everything if they bend over, and you can see right down their skirt if they lean over a desk to help a student) And it kills me when I'll walk into a Kmart or a Walmart, see a 6 year old girl go into the respected clothes section, pick up a shirt that says "Boy magnent" on it, run up to their mommy and plead for them to buy it. For christ's sake, I sometimes wonder if they can even READ what's on that shirt. And what's even more terrible is the parent who says "Oh, isn't that darling!" and throws it into the shopping cart without battin an eye. It's insane.
I myself have trouble these days finding clothes I like that fit me, since I have very odd body measurements, with a big bust an hips for a 14 year old, not to mention I have a little bit of pudge on my tummy. (family of early bloomers) I'm probably pretty much in my adult body, and trying to shop in the "juniors" or "teens" department in clothes stores is damn near impossible for me, so I'm forced to go into the adult section, where there are at least more 'tasteful' clothes. And hell, even right now, I'm sitting here in an old pair of jeans and a Miles Davis Tshirt I bought from Hot Topic (pretty much the only things I could fit into from there), something close to my daily "schoolwear." An at school, it's not uncommen for me to get called an old granny becuase I decide NOT to wear clothes that show half my belly and my thighs. Hey, I admit, if I was skinner, had a smaller chest and the like, I'd probably wear a short plaid skirt with my big pair of 'hooker' boots every now and again too, but it's NOT SOMETHING TO WEAR TO SCHOOL. That's something to save when youre going to a punk concert or a rave, you dont need to wear clothes like that to learn algebra. So the trends that are going on in younger girls today just kill me, I'm glad I'm not even tempted to go into that area of wear myself. I'm happy with loose fitting band shirts and jeans

I hope that made some sense, and I apoligize if I went over a lot of thigns already discussed.

 

i'm your age. those emo kida re weird. what about guys? the emo guys in girls jeans that show their entire boxer area don't get called names, but the girls who wear the same jeans with a teeny top do. double standards like no other.

 

If people didnt comment on the clothing of others...this world would be a lot more colorful and even more half naked. How about...that nudity is something we all have regarless of our clothing...people should not be ashamed to show their bodies...granted theres a time and place for everything but people are so judgemental. Just let folks ware waht they want to.......shit...

 

Oh hello, I'm sorry if I overlooked you.

Well, around here the 'emo' guys who wear girls jeans get called all sorts of names, even worse than the girls. I guess that just depends where you are... But I should have mentioned that in my post, that's a very good point!