Need Advice On How To Get Over Someone Whose Long Distance

So my situation is this: I've found someone online who, if they could move here from the USA (I live in Canada), would be the perfect one for me. She can't unless I marry her or she gets a skilled trade job or goes to school here. So basically it's impossible. I've known her over 2 years 2 months online and have used a webcam/mic, with her. She perfect for me but both of our situations suck. Plus her mother would fight her and shed have to storm out and run away to come here. She's not confident enough to do that plus all of the other reasons why she can't come here are basically making it impossible for us to ever be together.

I'm wondering if anyone has any advice on how I can get over feeling scared I won't find anyone who fits into my mold like she does? I'm terrified of wanting her so much and having to find someone else but not being able to make myself do that.

We've been able to connect really well and have strong feelings for each other despite being online and so far away. I'm afraid of not liking her so much and need to stop being so attached to how sweet and wonderful she is.

 

From the outside,Lumina,I'd have thought the 1st step was a holiday.
As in,I'm going to stay with friends for a week/fortnight,and have a look around Canada.
That way you get to spend time together and see if any unforseen irritations occur,plus it can be done with no ruffling of anyone's family feathers.
If all is as you hope,then further 'holidays' will be a lot easier as it becomes an accepted fact that she has trustworthy friends in Canada who make sure she enjoys her visits and returns safely.

If you can be patient,after a few 'holidays' she can come out,admit she has a partner of whom she is inordinately fond and wishes to be with and you can apply to marry.

The skills thing-well,nurses are always in demand-any chance she or you could study to be one?

If you DON'T get along when you're actually together in person,then no harm done.

Just my two-penn'orth.

I hope you find your happy ending,Hon.

 

Of course,that works both ways-you can go for a holiday in the states.

However you do it-you have to decide if a year of taking flak for coming out and perhaps breaking a family up is worth the rest of your life together.

If you think it is,get started-soonest done,soonest healed.

Tho' you do make it sound as if both of you are being secretive-which leads one to suspect you haven't been honest....so maybe it's time to START being honest.

You have but one life-and some of it's already gone-how do you want to spend the rest?

I still wish you the best of luck and a happy ending.

 

lesbian forum is for women only mr puggy ...even if you're helpful ...

 

Well the thing is we can't be together but seem really suited and I wish I knew what to do to get over her. We talked about what if we could be together and it would be great but reality is the immigration laws are awfully too strict.

 

I just got out of a long distance relationship, and yes it's hard as hell, I understand your love is strong for each other, but it's also important that both of ya'll meet and share a moment together. If she can't come to you, maybe you should go to her ?

 

It's easier getting into the U.S. from Canada than it is getting into Canada from the U.S.
I go to Canada every year and it seems more difficult than getting into Mexico. lol

I recommend just going for a vacation though. If you really want to get over her, stop talking to her for a while or cut your conversations short. Believe me, it helps.

 

FWIW I think that the holiday idea is really great ... but I'd make one slight modification. I think you should both book a holiday in the same resort at the same time, which is neither your place nor hers. THen you can meet up on totally neutral territory but in a relaxed and fun-filled environment.

At the moment, you're only seeing problems; where I think you should be seeing opportunities.

Don't assume it's impossible, and don't start by looking for obstacles. Start by trying the water; seeing if you really Do work as well in the flesh as you do on webcam. And if you do, THEN'S the time to start thinking about solutions.

If she's right for you, hun, then there WILL be a way to make it work. :mickey:

 

You can get tourist visas that last a bit longer than a 'non-visa' would. You could both take turns visiting one another (it would be better in my opinion, to meet in person prior to making a large-scale life change anyway).

Gay marriage is legal in Canada, I know a woman from NY actually, who married a Canadian woman, and the former now lives there permanently (with the occasional visit to the US to see family etc.) This could be a long-term solution ...but again, I would suggest visiting one another first.

Giving up shouldn't be your first option; especially if you feel you connect deeply. If abandoning the relationship is what you've decided, the only way to 'get over someone', is time.