I have an appt tue, haven't seen a shrink in 8ish years was sent for anger management then. started in 2nd grade on and off till i was 17. Not sure if it will help but anything has to be better than dealing with the mess in my head alone. Worried about it, I have never been completely honest with them due to fear of consequences. Don't want to tell them the wrong things but dont want them to think i'm all fine and dandy. been reading a lot about what I fell and think in my life. some or several types of schizophrenia and antisocial and social anxiety disorders seem likely diagnosis. all i ever wanted was to be "normal" guess thats only for those born into "normal" families. from the time i could make a decision to myself i felt i never wanted to be part of this world. to much pain nonsense and struggle, no way to earn a living by just doing what needs done always need some stupid gimmick too many worthless fucks seem to fall ass first into everything they want/need.
If you aren't completely honest with them how are you going to get the help you need? Ask around, find a good therapist. Sure there are bad therapists out there, but there are also alot of good ones who sincerely want to help. I'm sorry you have so much pain in your life. Get the help you need and all that can change.
trust is a big issue. you may not trust your therapist yet, or maybe your therapist is not a good match for you if you can find a therapist that you trust, maybe you could start by letting them know that you are not telling everything, and maybe explain your reasons why there are a lot of really unfair things in life, and it sounds like you have gone through some really unfair and traumatic things I hope that somehow things can get better, and that good things can start happening in your life
