Hi all, Firstly, I am brand new to this site, and also the LGBT community in general, and I could really use some words of wisdom from those of you who have already walked through this. Please. I'm twenty-one, and over the past few days I have finally had my come to Jesus moment, if you will, and I finally came out to a few close friends of mine who I knew would support me (they did, and it was so wonderful). My coming out didn't feel weird, in the sense that it was a long time coming--I had been having these sorts of feelings for girls/women really since puberty, but I grew up in a household that was (and is) very intolerant of homosexuality. Because of the fear of abandonment and the shame I felt about it, I denied this part of me for years. Finally admitting to even a few people that I do actually have sexual feelings for other girls felt really great--it felt like the truth. Now. That being said, I've gone and gotten myself really confused. Last night one of my friends that knows about my sexuality invited me to come with her and a couple of her friends to the gay night at a bar/club near my house. Excited about exploring this brand new part of my life, I quickly accepted. My experience at the club is hard to explain...I definitely had fun dancing and hanging out, but the gay part of it all felt really weird and almost uncomfortable for me. As I was walking out after closing, I met some gay women who were talking to me while I waited for my ride. I realized that they thought I was straight, and when i told them I wasn't they were surprised and got really excited, telling me I needed to meet up with them the next day and join their community, and what-not. It felt great to be included and wanted, and in the exact same breath, it freaked me out. My thoughts were, "Hm, this feels a little too real now...do i really want this...am I sure I'm gay...It feels like I can't turn back now...what if I'm not really gay...oh God oh God oh God..." Haha that's a pretty accurate description of what my mind started doing. Will someone please tell me what you think is going on here? Is this a normal reaction for someone who is new to the scene? Or does it mean that I jumped the gun in coming out? Or maybe the club scene just isn't for me? I am so confused, and I'm trying really hard to just be open and go with the flow and any other cliche along those lines, but I'm having a hard time with that. I want to know what my deal is! Anyway, I'm sorry this ended up being so long. Any responses would SO appreciated. ~Claire
Hey hun, this reaction is normal when first coming out, your not 100% comfortable with your sexuality so it will feel weird surrounded by the gay community. This is a new scene for you so its ok to feel uncomfortable . As you get older, you will become more comfortable with your sexuality
Relax sweety I'm just as old as you are, and just a few months ago I was just as awkward. I only have one advice for you: Just Breathe And have fun, off course, lots and lots of fun!
I don't know about you, but I'm uncomfortable in any new social situation. These women's sexual orientation is only one aspect of these personalities and character. They may not be the group for you, or the scene might not be the scene for you. I have never liked the bar scene. But you can meet women there for sure. There are other ways to meet women too. Coming to grips with a new sexual orientation is a huge deal. You may even do a lot of changing . Be patient and enjoy. Look within, contemplate. Your post suggests you are already doing that. Enjoy!
