Am I psychotic???

Well I don't hear voices, nor do I really see things that aren't seen by others, I have in the past but not usually.

okay...

I have whispers in my head, friends, family, other humans i don't know and random voices, I don't really hear it like you hear someone talking to you but I hear "whispers" like thoughts that don't sound like my thoughts. I believe it is imagination I believe it is memories playing over and over from conversations.

Whenever they start up commenting or something of that nature, I meditate a bit and picture a gust of wind pushing them aside and they dissappear.

I don't have mania I stay pretty depressed most the time but I do have mild mood swings many times during the day. Things look different and I feel different. like I was walking in a store and felt like everyone looks like fake and robotic not super intense but they just look like weird.

i think about different things... it is weird how i exist like...

I was looking in the mirror and I have been worried about death lately and if there is a hell.. well I looked in the mirror and realized if i exist in this life then i popped up in this world somehow and so I will exist again, not remembering this life but I will exist in a different form.

I start thinking about existence in it self, like where it all came from on a serious level not a common thought like hum i wonder... I feel weird about it I exist.

I think about how society is fucked up like how we are brainwashed in a way, not like super bad like "oh well we hav echips in our head" just like we watch tv and media and are told stuff in school so they warped our perceptions. I think about how people are egos and stuff lol. i don't know how to explain it, they act out who they want to be but are not really that person.

I think about how each thought you entertain warps your reality, how we can all experience the same thing in a different way, subjectively.

I think about words and how they dono't mean anything other than what we give them. I believe you can't really describe experiences or relate perfectly because experiences aren't limited to words.

One that gets me is how small we are, I think about how I am one person of billions one on spot of infinite spots in one house of many one one street of many in one neighborhood of many in one town of many in one county of many in one state of many in one country of many on one continent of many one one planet of billions in one solar system in one galaxy of billions in a universe possibly endless or complimenting other universes experiencing one perspective of possible many in one dimensions or plane of possible many. I think about how small we are as a species. I think about how we are all egotistical in how we think we are important to the universe or how we feel we are normal in certain things when there is no normal to me, it's subjective.

I don't believe psychotic I think I just think deeper than most.

I have bouts of hopelessness course we all do, suffer some social anxiety and worrying in general but that's about it.

 

There are others? No seriously, I think exactly like that. I've never heard anybody describe my mind so exactly in describing their own.

 

HECK YEAH.lol. finally someone to relate to.

 

People used to tell me about 100 yrs ago (well about 25 - 30) that I thought too much. You have just perfectly described so much of those thoughts I had, and still have from time to time...all these years here later...still can't stop that damn thinking.

But the question about being psychotic - NO...there's too much sanity in your writing and questioning of yourself to be psychotic. (They NEVER question themselves. )

I personally feel that the "hearing of other's thoughts" is something certain ppl do (which I am UNFORTUNATELY ONE too ) and with time you can (will) learn how to tune out a lot of it. The hardest time for me is when it's time to go to sleep...when I'm in that lull state just before sleep, my traitorous mind is subject to let all kinds of mess in! I usually have to (imagine) put a white light around myself to get to sleep. Yes, I may be crazy...but I'm not psychotic - it'd have to be something else - & at this point I'm comfortable in it (as long as I have a bit of weed periodically). :mickey:

 

You're just refining a sense of bicameral separation in your mind. One part is talking to the other part. Quite normal for your age. For some reason this is we all operate, and it's different from animals.

 

The main advantage that you have is that you can OBSERVE this stuff and NOT identify with it .
It seems to me that you are experiencing a 'break-through' accompanied by enhanced power flowing through you . . . . . the energies magnify everything .
My suggestion is to ignore the voices .... just like in a meditation . As soon as you do not care the 'voice' will attempt to direct your attention to another 'issue' .... do the same and 'let go' and do not care . . .
i have had similar experiences ....

 

Yeah thanks for the advice everyone. Lynn Brown I like that idea about the white light.

The Seal.. I'm googling bicameral.

 

I am glad you made this thread. This has been my "personal inner world" for so long I might never have thought of it.

 

Yes.

Welcome to the club! :afro:

 

thanks much haha i kindly enjoy it.

 

Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a deep thinker. Ignorance truly is bliss..
But if having this deep perception is
delusional and psychotic, bring on psychosis...
and I suffer from social anxiety too.

 

Psychotic? nah, receptive for sure. I feel the same

 

I feel and think the same. If you can give me any advice to help I'd appreciate it. I know I'm different from others. I just wish I knew how to cultivate it!

 

You should definitely get this above stuff checked out. It could be the beginning symptoms of a much worse condition.

This other stuff is fine. It's just called being philosophical. It's nothing to get depressed about though. It makes me feel rather happy actually.

 

I have come to accept that I am in ways similar to my species but I am very much an individual in how I perceive or at least interpret the world, and that is something we can all hold special. No need to feel bad about it.

I guess a way to cultivate is to work on things that interest you personally grow inside on topics that are nagging at you, you will fill more fulfilled as a person.

 

I've had all these same thoughts lots of times in my life - and I'm 58. Also "voices" - some I've learned are mental voices of certain people who have externally confirmed their awareness of and intention to communicate that way - but I didn't get this component added to my experience until I was in my late 40s.

Definitely not psychotic - perceptive, deep-thinking, and thoughtful.

 

well, i've been studying both the spiritual/metaphysical concepts of consciousness and also the psychiatric and i can't make up my mind which school of thought has more merit.

on one hand the spiritual/metaphysic is appealing in that it can explain so much with nothing more than faith/belief in one's personal experiences. flights of fancy are given wings when one believes in impossible things.

however and on the hand the psychiatric approach is more logical and orderly. all the stuff experienced as spiritual/metaphsical is viewed as symptoms of psychosis. lol so common are my experiences there are actual names for them, names like"auditory hallucinations" and "paranoid delusion".

here's the thing ... my only religion is self honesty so i must be honest. the psychiatric view looks more real to me but that makes me sad. in a strange way i rather enjoy my delusions but if i'm to keep true with my religion i'm going to have to disspell them. i mean, i can't believe in a lie once i know it's a lie. my beautiful delusions are lies. **sigh**

BUT .. i have had in the moment confirmation of telepathic communications and have experienced and witnessed some very interesting phenom. these facts complicate my desire for a neat and logical mentality and a curable conclusion as they allow for possible impossiblies.
**double sigh**

 

I am the true definition of textbook psychotic at times. Which is that I take absolute delight in and enjoy other peoples misery. I also do my best to manipulate people and advance myself or get them to chill out about my bad behavour. My happiest times are mostly revenge related moments that I achieved and making people feel my pain. So no you're not psychotic.

I know this sounds terrible and I feel remorseful at times and my crappy past is the cause of my current state. THis moment is a mixed state of mind.

 

You sound more like a sociopath than someone who is psychotic. Even when you described "feel remorseful at times" you still do not own up to your BAD actions. But rather seem to justify and rationalize your "state of mind".

That (what you seem to be) is quite different from what the OP describes. Sociopath and psychotic are 2 completely different things.

Edit: I should have said sadistic sociopath.

 

Yeah that sociopath stuff freaks me out.