Finding it hard to orgasm with partner

On my own it's fine, stick on some heavy bondage/denial porn and I can orgasm with just a finger on my clit.

With my bf however I can only orgasm after a long session with a bullet vibe during intercourse (could be 10 mins to half an hour - feels like forever) It gets boring. The last two evenings I haven't been able to climax at all when we tried. I'm not as stimulated with my partner as when I watch the sort of porn I watch, because me and the bf can't do the stuff that I like (expensive, not enough room, not in a house with 2 housemates, he had never heard of bondage before I came along). I get very horny. I get very fired up with him, and it gets very hot. But it's better when it's quick and he does his thing, and I feel half relieved, rather than try the kinky stuff and have me giving up.

The obvious answer is to relax more with the bf. But it is getting frustrating and I'm getting annoyed at both myself and him.

Have any girls had this trouble? Any guys come across this with their lady? Any advice?

 

Find some one you better sexually compatible with if it's really an issue.

 

Everyone is different and maybe you need to reconsider partners. I hate to say that though.
I have been with my wife for many years, and it has always taken about 20 to 30 minutes for her to orgasm via penetration or oral. I like to give her oral and keep going after she orgasms to make her have a second bomb go off making her more sensitive during intercourse.
That said maybe you just need to find the combination that gets you there and your golden from there on.

 

I have this issue. I've orgasmed just once with my husband and it took a lot of concentration. Almost not worth it because I was trying to hard to achieve it that it took away from the whole experience. I don't know if that's how it's supposed to be or not.

It's easy to say it's the partner but maybe just how our bodies are wired. Some people can have an orgasm by nipple stimulation, others by sex after 5 minutes, some have to go 30. Just depends is what I'm starting to notice. I'm still somewhat sexually inexperienced but he is...but I guess he's proof that quantity doesn't equal quality...not talking down to my DH, I love him very much and I'm certain we can work past this...we just been married 2 months!

It could be that I just need to get to know my body better? Like spidge said, need to find the combination that gets me there. The tough part is that H likes to give up too easily and has even gone as far as comparing me to his exes saying they "never had that problem." Made me feel shitty and now I sometimes feel pressured to have an orgasm whenever we have sex and have even faked it once, which I feel really awful for. But oh well...we're still young and have years to discover things together. I wish you the best of luck!

 

I started having this issue a few years back, but I figured out why it was happening, and it didn't have anything to do with my partner (my wife). The bottom line is that I was watching too much porn. Porn desensitized my libido, and the only way I could get off was either watching more porn, or thinking about porn. Then, I could only get off watching certain types or porn, and later only certain acts of sex (that my wife wouldn't, or couldn't, perform) would get me off. It was a vicious cycle.

I stopped watching any form of porn, and did my best not to think about it. At first it was nearly impossible to reach climax, and sometimes I couldn't even get hard. It didn't take much time though before things were looking up. It was gradual, but getting better and better. I still sometimes feel the effects - almost like a flashback, but overall my sex life has improved tremendously.

I'm not saying that porn is bad, or people shouldn't watch it. I'm just saying that, for me, it was poison.

 

Is it just this man you have had this trouble with?

 

Maybe try letting him watch the porn with you? Would he be in to that?

 

Duct tape and some closet space are NOT expensive, and probably won't bother housemates.