small town gay "life"

I live in a smaller town. There's one gay bar and a few tinette-sized gay groups. I haven't been able to meet gay men who I feel really comfortable with. It just gets to me sometimes.

What did some of you do to meet people? I'm looking for a few close gay male buds to hang with and a partner. Any serious suggestions will get serious consideration.

 

Being gay is a rough road...........which is why I chose to be straight as an arrow. How about the classifieds in neighboring towns. Your phone number in one of those swanky gay magazines may get your name out there too. You have a not-so-easy task ahead of you, my friend. Good luck.

 

If you can, make a goal to move to a bigger city, its very hard without the support you have from home, but it will be easier to be gay, beacuase no one is in your business, and no one cares, i moved from a small town in New Zealand, to the biggest city in NZ, to be more comfortable, and to be myself, and then made another goal to move to Australia.
I was scared and alone, but i finally did it, and fell in love with my BF of three years,
so even if you think that there is no hope of you being able to do it, try! make goals, save money, make a network of contacts in the new city and you will find someone, if its too hard you can always go back home, and by then you'll be stronger and may be able to come out more and be a part of the scene in your town.
GOOD LUCK

 

Hey man. I'm from a small city in NZ, Dunedin, and suffering exactly the same thing. I can empathise, but the secret is just to get on with life - enjoy it, and try not to worry too much. I know that's hard, but life can be measured in steps... ...right now you're not at the top. You'll get there.

Join some clubs. That's what I'm doing - getting into a bit of pottery and stuff.
Have fun and people will just turn up unexpected...

 

Gay love is so grand!

 

Bro, are you a gay groupie?

 

On the internet; you can make a profile at a personal's site and search for people in your surrounding area.

 

Thanks for the feedback.

What's a gay groupie?

I've got a profile on one of the big gay sites. My town does have a "room" on it, but most of the people you find there are from out of town. Most of the few locals there are about 20 years younger than I am.

I've also tried a personal ad in our local daily paper and in the nearest gay regional paper, but responses were few and far between...and the one local guy who responded was married. Sorry, but I don't do married.

I guess I've just got to grit my teeth and go on.

 

i have the same problem man... theres one gay bar here... not many gay groups at all... next to impossible to find any gay men im remotely interested in... all the gay people here work at applebees.... an evil capitalist chain o death.

 

a gay groupie is a straight person who enjoys hanging around gay folks.

 

Yeah, alot of gay people here work in either applebees or chilis. It's really weird. Just keep your eyes open for guys who look interesting. They're around, it's just that they're not over-the-top, so you don't really notice untill you talk to them.

 

"Fag hags" and "Mikey dikeys"... :|

 

Yup im from a small town and me coming out wont be easy.

 

Damn, your small town actually has a gay bar? There isn't a gay bar within 100 miles of my town. There isn't a gay anything. No marches, no rainbow flags, no groups...nothing. Consider yourself lucky to at least have that.

As far as everyone telling you to post personal ads, that's a fucking joke. Maybe one out of 500 people would actually find LTR material that way. A quick screw, yeah. I placed a personal ad in the local paper a couple years ago, and all that replied were psychos and married dudes. Point blank, they were people who simply wanted to have kinky sex and move on with their happy lives.

I've met quite a few gay people over the years, but only one that I was interested in. One! The problem is that gaydar doesn't work, so you could walk right past a nice looking gay man or woman and not even know it. My experience has been luck...being in the right place at the right time. There's no right way to go about looking for a partner unless you live in NYC or a similar town where there are thousands of openly gay people and meeting places. That's why so many gay people move to the city.

In closing, unless you plan on getting out of your small town, don't get your hopes up about finding a good partner. People in your shoes usually have to "settle" out of desperation or get extremely lucky. If I didn't find out my last BF was gay by chance, I'd still be a virgin right now.

 

Im from a tiny village in scotland so had little option but to move to the nearest city an it was really good for me and helped me deal with things a bit better but even after that i moved to edinburgh because aberdeen just didn't have what i was looking for in life.. thats just me tho. I have friends who live in remote places and they're perfectly happy.. the key to them being so happy tho is they make regular trips to some of the uk's bigger cities, they go to london or glasgow for a weekend to check out the scene and to live it up a little, you've got to get out and about and see whats on offer, you'r selling yourself short if you dont.


in my opinion you should use the net to find some other guys who want to make a trip somewhere an just go an have a laugh, you never know you might find somewhere you like and might even want to move there... you gotta be pro active an make it happen. mx

 

no gay bars near me for 200km, so i have to travel for fun.

 

Being a gay guy in a small town would not work for me. It may work for some people who agree to travel on weekends, make pen-friends or buddy up someone from a very small pool of people. Sure, you can strike gold everywhere. Only your chances are very small in a small town. That´s a simple math...

Save up and move on. Use all the means conceivable and leave no stone unturned. Luck favors those who work very hard to get it.

KD