Wife had "room sex" before we married

There ya' go. I doubt it's possible to have sex with (almost)any woman that hasn't already had sex with someone, since it would appear most girls start having sex in their mid teens. That's just the way it is. Glad you got a handle on it.

 

It is not a flame war. That would sound a lot different.

I'm being sarcastic about your double morality (see my earlier post). You have a problem with your wife's sexuality as far as it concerns her life before your marriage but if she discovers her wild side while with you then that's okay.

Post as many details about you as you like - sexual and otherwise - but try to be coherent in both thought AND action.

On a side note: does your wife know you're spreading your sex life around on the net?

As I said before, post all you like. Just try to be coherent and think about what you write .... especially if it's rather serious stuff.

What status exactly are you referring to? And what do you know about my life?

Also remember that you are posting on an internet forum that is open to basically anybody. You shout out of the open window into the street below. That way you can get ANY kind of answer.

 

Oh, you have no idea what we are capable of. :elf:


But seriously, while you are going to get all kinds of opinions on an open forum, it takes two (or more) to have an argument.

Damn right. :cheers2:

She didn't even know you, so she had no agreement with you to handle sexual things in a particular kind of way. It's none of your business. Not even a little bit.

 

Well, at least we found common ground on the awakening bit. Cheers to that.

RE: Before we met, not my business - Yes, I have come around to that point of view. I think I'm over it.

 

Yawn .... what took you so long? :eggnog:

 

:willy_nilly::beatdeadhorse5::grouphug:

 

Sorry ... couldn't resist.

 

I couldn't either.

 

That kinda crossed my mind ....

 

What I don't understand is what did she gained from being watched by total strangers, and what ever happened to door LOCKS.

 

this is room sex... she had the lock

but he had the key

a guy there also tried to fuck a table lamp... it was hot

oh no y he go say such st00pid joke?? :frown:

 

That was my initial thought, too. The room-mate(s) had a key. She said "it was a pretty wild dorm," and that lots of people were having sex, and no one had any privacy, so it was not that unusual for people to walk in/out while a couple was having sex.

I asked if she was under the covers and she said "you know I don't like covers." She is proud of her body and I think she liked being watched and wanted, at least a little bit.

She had a very conservative upbringing. Like many college students, she had to break the rules to prove she was her own person. I think this was the main factor in what for her was a real walk on the wild side. But even today, she does not sound apologetic or regretful of it, but is just sort of "it is what it is" about it.

 

They get to be pretty much secondary when hormones rush to the scene.

 

You make it sound like she SHOULD be apologetic or regretful of it.

It is what it is, she had sex, I don't see why she should regret it. People walked in, saw, walked out. Happens.

I've been in overflow housing like that, no air conditioning, tiny rooms, no oversight whatsoever, and a bunch of freshmen who don't know each other yet makes for lots of open drinking, drug use, sex. In my dorm, it wasn't a matter of opening the door, nobody closed them....

 

I think the harsh responses are unfounded. I think you need to remember that this happened a long time ago when she was young -- she used bad judgement. Rather than focus on how you feel learning she made some mistakes, try chalking up her past behavior as something in her past (not yours!), and start reminding yourself of all the things you love about her. Do you really think you would adore somebody who has BAD character? I don't think so. I think you love somebody who showed bad judgement in that incident. If she has been a great wife, you need to let that incident remain in the past instead of allowing it to dominate the way you think and feel about her now after she ha spent nearly 16 years as a good wife, creating a home for you. Why not focus on the things she has done to make you feel happy and fulfilled?

I disagree with the person who said get out of that church. Most religions preach forgiveness, love and acceptance. We're all works in progress. You don't have to adopt a "holier than thou" reaction to this new information. You can choose to realize that by admitting you would have liked to have a turn with her then, shows your judgement probably wasn't perfect at that age, either. Only you can decide how you want to respond to this information. You can dwell on it and obsess over it, condemning her character, or you can dwell instead on the kind of marriage you want to have: one that brings out the best in one another, not one that harps over past mistakes or sins.

 

Oh what fond memories. I had a girlfriend back in college, she loved to fuck. It didn't matter if my roommate came in or not. Oh wait a sec how many years ago did you say? Tell Joe says hello

 

Nice point.

I am very grateful for her honesty. She will answer any question I ask, and will give it to me straight, whether she thinks I'll like the answer or not. I love this about her.

Okay, brothers and sisters, I am OFFICIALLY OVER IT now. Thank you for your feedback, suggestions, jeers, and analysis. It does help.