Hey guys, I'm a 16 year old closeted gay male, well sort of. Over my summer break I had a realization that I was gay. I mean I knew it the whole time but this is when I finally admitted it. I've always been thinking about coming out.. how horrible it would be. I finally got the guts to tell my friend (i'm a very shy person, I did it over text) that I was gay. She texted me back and to my surprise it was positive, something along the lines of "Why are you so embarassed? It's okay to be into guys " and afterwards I texted her and kind of poured my heart out. I never got a text back and since then school has started and we haven't talked about it once. I feel like I am literally back to square one. Now normally I wouldn't care about staying closeted but.. there is this guy that I have a really big crush on. My first crush ever, even though I don't know him well he is very good looking and I know that he is funny and nice. I don't know if he's gay and I feel that we exchange looks a lot but I'm afraid that's all it is ever going to be which is why I feel the need to come out, so that he knows he can tell me that he is. (I don't wanna just.. embarass myself telling him I like him and he freaks out and tells all his friends) What should I do?! I really don't want to tell my parents.. I don't feel like that is even an option really. My dad is disgusted when he sees two guys holding hands and I know my mother would accept it but she's the kind of person who could never keep her mouth shut. My sister would accept it too but I just feel like she would hold it against me. I don't know who I can talk to about all of this.. I just need someone to help me get through it all. I really don't think my best friend likes the fact that I am gay, I am pretty sure she told her boyfriend who I hate as well since he calls me fag very often now. I'm too nice and reserved to even get mad at her or to shy to strike up this conversation with her, especially since we almost always have our other friends with us. I just feel like it's my time to feel like I am worth something. Ugh.. what to do! This means alot to me if anybody can help, thank you very much!
your situation is 100% understandable. you shouldnt crawl back into your shell because your friend simply didnt text back. if u think about it, that is overthinking it a bit. (which is 100% understandable too) dont worry about telling your parents just yet, take things 1 step at a time. just focus on telling your close friends first, cuz most likely they'll be fine with it, and when i mean most, i really mean most (especially the female ones). that text she sent to you means sooo much!! so just talk to her, tell her that you got kinda freaked when she didnt text back so you just need someone to talk to about it, especially since she's the first person you've come out to. she'd understand how big that is for you. just take things one step at a time dude, it'll go very well, and it'll be extremely worth it, you'll see. i advise you to keep your eye on the prize, watch or read other peoples' stories of coming out, and once again, take one step at a time.
Why is this story always the same? Ugh so tedious! Dump the friend she's immature shit with a shit bf although his need to call u a fag every time he sees u leads me to believe that u could probably have some angry sex with him but whatever. Just ask the guy u like to hang out or if ur too shy for that, try and position urself in ways that force the two of u to be in the same place perhaps there u could try and get him alone. If I were u ii would fuck the friend cause her having a problem with err gayness may mean she likes u or she may have a moral problem with it and want to save u. So ide. Fuck her and the bf behind the others back. Then ide get drunk with the guy and fool around
You want to learn from your experience. Some people will accept your being gay. Some people won´t. Some will nominally accept it but would not be really comfortable about it. And the list rolls on and on ... Your environment is simply too immature to accept your sexual orientation at the moment. Telling them that you are gay puts them into a situation to necessarily react to your coming out. Saying, "yeah, fine" may be too difficult for them because they may fear that this somehow reflects upon their sexual orientation, too. So, I´d put this on a back burner until you get to college. Now, you have that crush on a cute guy whom you do not know too well. You also seem to believe that you may have a better chance of getting closer to him, if he knew you were gay? I'd stop short of assuming that. Actually, your being openly gay in your environment may put him totally off. When you come to think about it, he either likes you or he doesn't. The fact that you are gay won't really make any difference in your favor. If you like each other, you'll get where you want to be one way or the other. Your being openly gay won't really do much to facilitate that. KD
well, since you're 16 and depend on your parents for food and roof over your head i'd strongly advise you against telling them until you no longer depend on them for anything. that might include putting yourself through college like that as well. it's simple really, it's your life, and who you are attracted to sexually is really none of your parents' business anyway. the thing with your best friend....you probably should talk to her to clear it up what's going on. make it clear to her that it is not her business to go around telling other people about you. it's like you betraying some of her secrets to complete strangers. how would she feel about that? you gotta show some strength in this. if you let her walk all over you and treat you however she sees fit then it's never gonna get better. you have the say on what happens in your life so don't let her pull that shit. and the crush thing....you shouldn't come out thinking then he will come out to you too. it doesn't work like that. if you have reason to think he might be into guys, then try to make friends with him somehow. that's the best way to go about this. put yourself in a situation where you two would have to interact with each other. even if he is gay, he might be confused, he might be in denial, or he might hate what he feels for guys. the idea is to find out what's going on in his head in this regard before you make a move on him.
