I've been married for about 15 years and have known I was a lesbian for a long time. I've only recently decided to come out and I don't know why I waited or what is it that now has propelled me to make the decision to come out. I know my family will be hurt by it. My husband is not a bad man but I can't live this life any more. I'm getting older and I just want to be free to be me as I am meant to be. Has anybody else here gone through this? I have been with women so it's not some experimental thing for me... I think that I was just so programmed that I had to be with a guy that the option that I could be with a woman was never really in my head.
Maybe you have to be honest with your husband, and explain it to him. Everyone deserves to be happy, even though it will hurt your family, and be a shock to them. But keeping this inside of you is hurting you more. I also agree that we women were program to be with a guy. Have you talked to a close friend about this?
First and foremost, be honest with yourself. Do you have children? If so, how many and roughly how old are they? If you cannot provide your husband with the (sexual) satisfaction that he craves due to your desire to be with a woman, over time, you may begin to resent him for wanting to be with you. This can turn into something much bigger over time. I haven't personally gone through this, however, there is a pretty awesome book called Late Bloomers: Awakening to Lesbianism After Forty by Robin McCoy that I HIGHLY recommend. It's available for Kindle and Kindle Apps if you don't want to get caught reading it.
I had to leave a bunch of my boyfriends because the physical attraction just wasn't there. All great guys and I was lucky to be with them but I never would have been one hundred percent happy with them.
