In love with my best friend...

Don’t really know where I’m going with this, don't even know if I'm posting it in the right place, just need to let this out…
I am in love with my best friend. I didn’t realize it at first- only a year and a half later, when the signs became really obvious did it hit me that I have a huge crush on her. I decided to not tell her because I’m too afraid to risk our friendship. I want to stay as close to her as possible, as a friend. But I dunno if I can stick to that resolve, my affection for her is getting stronger with time and I’m worried that at one point I’ll slip up and that will be it- one wrong move and I lose her. I will be extremely devastated if that happens cuz she’s the closest person I have.
Has anybody had similar experiences? Maybe advice on how to handle this? ^^

 

I also fell in love with my best friend, and when I open up to her, everything went downwards after that. But she did admit that she was sexually attracted to me, but the friendship was not the same.

You should not tell her and keep this to yourself unless she tells you that she's has feelings for you.

 

ok, thank you very much dreamsDOcomeTRUE. good to know that i ain't the only one in this situation. somehow comforting ^^
i'll try not to tell her. but what if my actions give me away and she confronts me about it? i try not to be too obvious but you never know...

 

If your actions become to noticeable, she will start to feel uncomfortable with you. Do she know that your a lesbian?

 

no... i'm actually not really sure myself- i'm still questioning ^^
all i know is i have a strong attraction to her

 

how do you know if you're a lesbian? you can't really base it on just one crush, can you?
or do you kinda have to figure it out for yourself through experience and thorough self-analysis?
i guess it's a little early for me to know, since i'm just 16 (going on 17 in November) ^^
when and how did you realize that you weren't straight?

 

I'm only 18, and I notice this since I was a young girl, I will always look at the girls instead of boys.

I figured out through self analysis, are you attracted to guys also?

 

I fell in love with my best friend. We aren't friends anymore because of a completely diff issue, but when I told her things weren't as awkward as I had thought it would be. We still remained really close and hung out all the time and she still let me sleep over and share her bed and stuff. So it all depends on how close you guys are. She and I were practically joined at the hip. Very close and something like having feelings for her didn't change that. If you two have a strong friendship I don't think it should matter whether or not you tell her. Just be honest with yourself it'll work out in the end. If it ruins your friendship then that means you weren't close enough to get over that little bump in the road. Who knows she may be experiencing the same thing you are. If you're both too afraid to speak your mind then it'll never lead to anything. I hope this helps you Good luck ^_^

 

I totally disagree with that! Honestly if my best friend ever told me something like that I will defiantly feel awkward, how you can you not be


slammacow maybe you loved her as a friend. unconditional love.

 

Meh maybe I'm just different. Whenever my friends tell me they like me it doesn't bother me and things don't get awkward and same goes when I tell them. Lol I guess I'm in my own little boat here hahaha

 

I was def in love with her though. She was my first love and it was strong enough for me to get jealous over her telling me she wanted to have sex with her bf. I very rarely get jealous and I pretty much turned into a green monster lmao....

 

so i'm getting two very different replies here... tell and don't tell...
slammacow, i understand that if we're truly close enough friends my confession won't make things awkward or put distance between us but at the same time i'm very scared of the risk. i read (or heard) somewhere that 9 out of 10 times this kind of thing ends badly

dreamsDOcomeTRUE, i don't know. i don't think so. looking back on it, i think this girl is my first crush- i have never felt so emotionally attracted/ attached to anyone before that, guy or girl. let's see... no, i don't think i was ever attracted to any guys, not even a little. when my friends discuss their crushes and ask me if i think so-and-so is cute/attractive, i always vaguely answer "i guess" or "i don't know" cuz i dunno, i'm neutral towards them. i'm not attracted to guys but i don't hate them either. they're just there. do i look at girls? ... i guess i do catch myself thinking sometimes as i walk by something like- "ooh, she's pretty/ hot/ attractive" but it's just for a second until i become occupied with other thoughts.

 

btw, slammacow and dreamsDOcomeTRUE, thank you both for your input. i appreciate it ^^

 

your definitely a lesbian then, since you never had an attraction towards male.

 

GAAAAAAHHHH!!! I just got done crying about this!!! Yes!!!! I have a similar experience!!! 'Cept I won't admit that I am in love with her. She's my best friend and I am falling flat on my face for her. She's awesome. Here's the difference between you and me though, I told her I had a crush on her. She knew that I was gay, and I know that she is straight. We are still friends despite my crush, and I would like to keep this friendship for the rest of my life because we are so close and jive so well...But I'm afraid that my attraction is going to eff everything up. I wish I could turn my attraction OFF so that we could just be friends, because obviously she's not reciprocating my feelings of attraction (and she's in a relationship) so it's not like it's just going to go away. I also have no desire for a relationship with anyone. Don't want to date, don't want to look for anyone. Didn't want to be with anyone when this friendship started either. Now that I find myself in this friendship, if given the opportunity to date my friend, I'd jump on it, but otherwise I still want nothing to do with a romantic relationship. This is so messed up.

 

dreamsDOcomeTRUE, really? what if i just haven't met/seen the right guy yet? but then again, i'd have at least started acknowledging their presence by now- i only notice girls. could i really be gay? i never thought about things like this before, i just kinda was who i was... this idea of being a lesbian is new and slightly intimidating for me. since i was raised to think that homosexuality is bad (my parents are extremely homophobic. i disagree with them but i can't help how strong they've influenced me. personally, i have no problem with homosexuals but i think it will take me a while to get used to the fact that i am one myself), i never even questioned my straightness before. if my parents found out i was even thinking of liking girls, i'd be so screwed... but i shouldn't let what they think affect me so much, i can't spend my whole life living as they tell me to, i oughta make my own decisions. but they're my parents... sorry, i'm quite insecure like that- i worry too much about my parents approval sometimes. though who says they have to know about this? but i'm paranoid that somehow they'll just find out one way or another... or am i just using my parents as an excuse cuz i'm finding it hard to accept this new aspect of my identity? i'm lost D: or am i just over-thinking things?...
BraveNCrazy, my sympathy and a hug to you, i understand what you're feeling. i also wish i could turn my attraction off, it would make life so much easier. you're lucky you stayed friends though. how did you summon the courage to tell her? i would never be able to...

 

I'm not sure, really. It was awkward, but she and I are really close. I kind of had a break down today because I'm so obsessed, so involved and it scares me because I don't want to ruin this friendship.

 

If you were never attracted to guys in the first place and always thought about women, then yes you are lesbian. My parents don't know that I like girls, and I personally think its not their business to know. And just like you I'm still having trouble accepting my sexuality, but it just have to take time I guess

 

well i admire your confidence ^^
i break down too sometimes. well i'm not sure if that's what it's called but once in a while when all my bottled up feelings need to be let out, i pretend i'm talking to Her in my head and i pour out all my thoughts and worries to her and eventually cry myself to sleep. this kind of thing is probably not a break-down though, those sound more serious and intense.

ok... so all obvious signs say that i'm lesbian. alright, nothing wrong with that... now i just have to get comfortable with this idea. it's gonna be hard and like you said it'll take a long time but i think i'll gradually be able to accept myself.
thank you for helping me to figure this out ^^

really? you seem pretty confident with it though, at least compared to me ^^ or maybe i'm just bad at judging people...

 

I was in love with my best friend, I told her I was curious and she turned to be the same. We dated for awhile but had a falling out (she has anger issues) But for your situation I think you should tell her how you feel, nothing worse than keeping your emotions locked inside. it can be painful and all it does is grow.

If anything just ask her if she ever thought a girl was attractive or if she has ever wanted to kiss a girl.