Pregnant x ruining my life

Yeah God forbid a man has a desire to have sex, what a pig that thinks with his little head.

It's funny everyone always tells the man when they do get a woman knocked up that it takes two to tango and he has to pay up. Yet somehow when the couple doing this tango are both of the understanding that she will use the pill and then she stops without telling him, with the intention of getting pregnant without his consent...the man is reduced to a cry baby if he has something to say about it. Well here's my opinion on that...anyone who thinks like this is rather childish themselves.

 

Who said they couldn't say anything about it?

"The bitch lied to me, I'll never trust her again."
is vastly different from;
"Poor me, my whole life is now fucked up because of that ****."

 

That's true. Well, I have to go kill some feral pigs on my property and I think we've pissed a big enough puddle in this thread. I bid you good day sir.

 

Wow, loads more to read.

Its not necessarily about me whining on a forum, its admitting the way im feeling at present and seeking advice from that.

It does feel like she has ruined my life, genuinely and I say that because the relationship was hell, but it was 1 where I was trapped...If I walked I could have guilt on my hands if she tried suicide like she said. I knew I was miserable and barely putting any effort into the relationship, but I really wasnt thinking of myself and what I should of done for the best.

There doesnt seem a point in saying "dont have sex if you cant face up responsibility's". I mean everyone has sex really, if we are honest its the sole purpose of being on the earth, to do well in life, breed and start a family, then your children carry on your life through generations. It comes natural for humans.

Who really has sex everytime with a condom and the girl on the pill? The pill is the best contraceptive but even combined it still wouldnt be 100% safe? The whole point of any precaution is to prevent children occuring, so if it does occur shouldnt that really be dealt with as a joint decision.

She slipped, I didnt know about it. On the subject of a vasectomy, if I wanted a girl to get pregnant and told her I had the snip, when I didnt and she became preggers, she would make the decision to get rid of it no matter what I said.

Just as when ended when I tried talking responsibly to her she kept telling me she was going to tell my mum. I said it would be better coming from me and I would tell her in less than 2 weeks time. We agreed on that, but then my mum spoke to me a week or less later to say she knew as this girl had told her. This meant because she gave my mum her version of it all, my mum has based her opinion on that (shes a typical mother who listens to what someone else says but as soon as i say it its not taken seriously. A bit like she thought this x was great, a nice girl, and believes that, she cant believe what truth I have said about her)

When we were together and I found out she had lots of people to talk to about it, she told her mum early, friends, she has 2 sisters and a brother. Im an only child, I had lost touch with all my friends (because either I wasnt allowed to hang around with them or I didnt hang around with them because she would always be with me checking up on me)

She probably knows full well she has me where she wants me, either crawling back to her to say lets give things another go (no chance though), or being forced to pay maintenance, which I cant afford with my work hours.

She does live an hour or 3 away, my only method of transport there is train. Lets say I went for the option of being there but not for her. To pay for the train, maintenance and general things in life it would mean 100% I would have to get another job, that would mean I wouldnt be able to move out of home for quite some time and I would be spending nearly all of my life at work, I would have to cram in time to see friends, time for my current relationship and time for myself as well as travelling to her to see the kid.

It costs £50 odd train return, and is quite a distance, which also means I would be there and either have very little time with the kid before coming back....or dare i say it, I would have to stay over.... and that could indeed be serious trouble.

Because she has all the say she would never bring the kid to me, n she would know it plays into her hands too easily if she didnt

 

I got a 50 spot says it aint urs

 

and if it is, OJ gets out in a few years

 

Too many words to make it through eh???

Hows this...

Move out
Get your own place
Pay child support
Remember to use condoms regardless of what the woman says

Stop whining about it all... it's life... get used to it.

 

Really, you have no choice but to get a better job.

You should definitely have to get a lawyer, they are expensive.

You can probably get a paternity test ordered after the child's birth, which could save you a lot of trouble if the baby isn't really yours. (Do this if there is even the slightest chance of doubt.)

Even aside from that, you're going to want a lawyer to protect your rights and your child, from this horrid wench. You don't want to get one too late if she turns out to be as abusive of a mother as she is in a relationship, or if she uses the child to fuck with your life even worse.

But besides a lawyer, it costs a lot of money to raise a child; more than the child support probably would.

Also, you're going to need to get a license and a car.

You have no choice on this one. No matter what happens, you're going to need a lot more money than you have.

 

lmao $500 a mo.? what planet do you live on?

 

Well, I just got a child support order (despite me, the mother, and our mutual lawyer being there and telling the judge to fuck off, we're adults and will handle OURSELVES like adults, and that I do more than 200 in just her dishes monthly) for 202 dollars, wwith 100 medical and some sort of like 2 days visitation a month.... he KNEW that we're close, see each other daily, I'm there taking care of my kid daily..... Malicious old piece of shit, hope he strokes out and can't talk

So, for minumum wage, be prepared to be paying 300+ per month. Basically, get a lawyer and money NOW. Don't wait. Make sure you get a test at the soonest possible point, make sure she knows you will do so (could save you a lot of headache if she knows you have a lawyer and will get a test-if she also knows it's not yours, she may drop the issue) and be prepared to do what you need to.

Also, no, she was never going to kill herself, and if she did, it would never have been your fault. She's just a manipulating bitch, who got you hook, line, and sinker. She managed both "I'm on the pill" and "I'll off myself without having you around to beat up on" on one dude. She's fucking talented.

 

I don't know why men take it out on the child instead of the woman. It befuddles me as a woman. If I lie to a man and get pregnant, he should hate ME and support his child. It's not rocket science.

 

Well you're right, but think about it.

The child is tied to the woman. Guy almost never stands any chance of getting custody, and usually isn't ready anyway (after all, he's not the one who decided to switch things up on himself and have a kid). And The woman WILL use his kid against him, if he doesn't cater to her every need and kiss her ass. AND she'll get him for child support, no matter what he does.

So.... It could be pretty challenging to deal with the kid separately from her.

 

I don't think they have any intent to take it out on the child. They are just trying to get out of a situation they didn't ask for or expect.

It's not really easy to get away from the lying **** that did it, and still be in the child's life.

It's a shitty situation for a man to be in; it's not quite fair to him (especially in the rare cases that there were no signs of the woman being untrustworthy); and there really is no 100% solution for those men.

 

Increasingly, men DO get custody. If she's as selfish as OP says, he'll be raising the child in no time. His mom is very smart to maintain a good relationship. This baby is partially his fault. He can't blame the mom for him not wearing a rubber.

 

It may be increasing, but custody courts are still way tipped towards the mother.

And he can still blame the mom for being a lying manipulating asshole.

 

I don't think so.

Baby was to trap him. She's a psycho bitch, and nobody would stick around, to the point where she played these "i'll kill myself" games when he tried to leave her. So this kid is to trap him.

Seriously, OP, suggest adoption so as to give both of you a fair shot at life while being with someone you actually like.... if she won't do it, show that bitch what's up.

And yeah, men might get custody, but it's still not right to do that to the kid. Any mother that would choose to have a kid in that sort of situation is already obviously a bad parent......

 

The ONLY way it could be 'unfair' is if he was raped.

It's not like its a case of you walking down the street and some random woman gets pregnant with your child...

First, you have to stick your dick into her... (in most cases)... Wait... make that... you have to CHOOSE to stick your dick in her...

If you choose to do that, you should be prepared for the consequences of it.

It's like any other choice in life, if you make a bad one, you are going to pay for it, this one just happens to last the rest of your life...

 

In a lot of ways I feel the same, and yet now that I am a clear-thinking adult I can see some of the psychological scars that were left by the absence of a stable adult male in my life. I think, as a female growing up in poverty with only women, I was worse affected than if I had been a boy in a secure household.

As far as I am concerned, why would you want to take the risk of potentially leaving your offspring underdeveloped or troubled because they don't have a daddy? Furthermore, why wouldn't you want to see your own son or daughter growing up? This will happen only once...this individual will only be 1, 2, 5...once. You will regret not knowing them.

I understand the problems with her, and if she's ultimatuming it then you need a lawyer. You can fight for the right kind of access.

Give this some serious thought, away from her or even any thoughts of her or the relationship. Consider your son or daughter, at 5 or 6 years old (when you, too, will have grown more)...will they look like you? Will they share some of your interests? Will they laugh like you, or do well at school, or need extra support? Never knowing any of those things would frighten the life out of me. You would never know who you had created...what your main contribution to this world was...You could also leave a little person missing you, and eventually more frighteningly, an adult missing you.

Think this through.

 

That doesnt come easy though. In the UK at this percise moment jobs are very hard to come by. Theres nearly as many unemployed people as there are employed.

At current im taking less than £400 a month. Another job = would be a very lowly 4 hour contract which barely makes £100 extra a month.

Own place = even for a 1 bedroom bedsit with the complete basics, it would be in excess of £300 per month, you cant bring a kid up in a single room place and if things went to the crunch, I would lose a battle on living arrangements.

if a place is £300+ a month and child support is nearly the same thats over £600 paid out per month before I have even paid bills, and bought things like food.

In order to get all the money for all that I would need to be working over 50 hours a week (which at a lot of places isnt legal), and regardless I would be at work that much id have no time to see family, no time to continue my current relationship and next to no time to see the kid anyway.

She is the bitch who runs her own business, After paying her staff she has well over £1500 per month left over, she has parents that are in the money who previously said they would match her money that she has to put in for a new BMW.

Chances are with custody she would win any case, she has cash, is probably better established in life, has help off friends/family, and she could more than easily throw the card in a court to say I was depressed.

The 1 thing I didnt want to happen was if im working that much, getting milked outta every single penny, the current relationship fails because of it, my resentment will not just be at her, it will be at the whole lot of them and I will just walk away from it all

 

In otherwords, you will continue to be a fucking child, and in the process, help to destroy the life YOU brought into the world through your irresponsibility...

For those of you who came out in support of this guy... pay attention to this shit...

She (the psycho fucked up bitch) runs her own profitable business employing other people, whom according to this un/underemployed fucking loser living at home with mommy is trying to trap him into a relationship....

Sound reasonable to you?

Grow the fuck up kid.