LSD and Bipolar 2 (Manic Depression)

swim wants to try LSD to not only experience it but to expand his mind creatively for his music ventures.

The issue is, its very likely that swim suffers from Bipolar 2, because swim has the obvious reactions of a bipolar person when smoking cannabis which is a burst of mania during and slightly after the high.

When swim first started smoking cannabis he was suffering from tons of anxiety and depressive issues which cannabis totally lifted him from to the point of curing it but also unknown to him threw him in to a long manic phase of about 2-2.5 months which was probably prolonged by almost daily use of the herb and these highs being his "first highs" so of course they are more intense to begin with.

But on the other hand swim noticed that his highs seemed to give him a more or less serious burst of creative genius that was really and utterly genius and has turbo charged is progress in guitar. So of course knowing this swim wants to experiment with LSD and see where that takes him also knowing what it has done for other artists obviously.

Now about 2 years later from his first time smoking swim can smoke bud and get his onset of mania but can identify and enjoy it as long as he is not very anxious to begin with. Swim is very familiar with his mental state and triggers now and mentally believes he could handle most things as he just came out of a very tough mental state that involved the loss of friends, having to move away from his home that he is very close to, and falling out of love with his first musical project that he spent a year and half writing that literally was his life.

Swim wants to know, if it safe to take LDS if he is Bipolar 2. Which is the bipolar where you DO NOT hallucinate but tend to be more depressed than often, very anxious, and at times CAN be dellusional which swim has experienced in that first and ONLY manic phase brought on by his first times smoking which did pass and now knows that none of that is actually real and highly doubts those dellusions could ever manifest in him they way did before due to his familiarity with mania now. Swim thinks hes made total peace with his past which is not bad like he has done bad things but to him is very sad and at times humiliating, but his future makes him a little anxious. Generally he is at peace right now with most things and is gradually becoming content and then some with what his next 2-3 years looks like.

More than anything it is the fear and anxiety of where LSD might take his mind that deters him from doing it, not him himself. He is afraid one of his worries about the far off future, or thoughts that depress him about his past, might get grabbed ahold of and taken for a ride to hell with him on it even if it crosses his mind for one second. He also worries that because for his first time he will be doing it with friends who are not bipolar and mentally healthy, he may do things because of his bipolar that make him look wierd in front of his friends and that will humiliate him and/or make him paranoid that they are judging him which would totally fuck his trip up, but thinks maybe leaving the circle for a little while and listening to music would help. He almost thinks that doing it by himself for the first time is the best option actually, but doesnt think that would be the best idea if something went very wrong.

Does anyone have any experience with taking acid with bipolar 2 specifically and does anyone have any advice in general for swim? by the way, swim does NOT take meds for anything except GERD, as he refuses to take meds for his mental issues and would rather tough them out on his own and defeat them with his mind itself as he believes it will make him a stronger more enlightened person, which in fact it has. swim is also highly intelligent, and very creative as well naturally.

 

you may have the time of your life... or maybe you will experience a rough trip. bipolar or not.

its generally not recommended to trip if you are diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

kind of a roll of the dice. so you think acid will help you musically?

 

It's really a coin flip especially with a mental disorder. LSD's primary effects on the brain are different than those of cannabis but LSD can elicit very powerful emotions, thoughts, and ideas which can manifest in strange ways. Having someone sober sitting you guys would probably be wise if you feel uncomfortable about some of these issues and how you'll appear to the others.

Playing the guitar is amazing on LSD and the trip in general is a really profound experience.

 

Its not so much like im in pursuit of an acid trip just to get better at guitar. But to put it simple ive played by myself and with others off of drugs and on drugs, we played better and sounded better on them no doubt. But I really would like to experience it regardless. I dont see any drug as a play toy, or a way to get fucked up, I had life changing experiences just on weed so I respect the power of psychedelics fully.

The weed these days contrary to popular opinion is garbage because it is generally all Indica or some shitty Indica dominate hybrid, which is shitty for creative endeavors. Any weed after Reagans crackdown on drugs is basically garbage and the medical movement is bullshit and has also brought the recreational quality of cannabis down. WAY too much THC and not enough cannabinoids which are the key to great pot. So im really in search of a better "jam drug" than weed.

Id say what I have going for me going in to a trip, would be the ever present knowledge that I just ate acid, anything abnormal happening after is the acid, and that knowing I could possibly be bipolar, any thought I have that could be considered a dellusion is simply my bipolar and I just pay it no mind and put it in my mental "trash can" if that makes sense.

Of course I could NOT be bipolar, and bear in mind if I am, im the lesser more mild bipolar 2. My theory to support that I am not, would be that I am usually depressed and that the emotional lift I get from weed added to the fact that I am actually extremely intelligent and creative makes me feel that I actually can do anything (not like flying or something stupid like that, but more career, fufilling my dreams oriented), which when you are full-ride to harvard intelligent, is less of a dellusion and more of a real possibility. The things I see in to more deeply (the more intense high I get tends to make me look at things very deeply, like trying to find its symbolic meaning and things like that) than other people could not be biplolar at all but just my creativity. but who knows.

My real worries going in at this point, bipolar are not, is that I will have to face something, a worry, something in my past, my deep inner psyche, whatever, and having to face that in front of people. It doesnt bother me knowing I might take a trip to hell, thats okay, ill face it and ill be okay, I just dont want to be screaming in agony or something in front of two of my friends. I know ill be okay during and after, its just im not trying to freak out my buddies during their first times tripping. Also I worry about getting bunk cid. Cut with some other shit I dont need to be on. That worries me because legit acid is probably relatively safe for a bipolar 2 person, its when theres speed or something in it that makes it dangerous. Stimulants are THE MOST dangerous thing for bipolar patients. I know I could easily get it from some of my more dealer-type connections, but I know they might get me anything as long as theyre getting paid. Or I can get it from a guy I straight up hate and dont even want to talk to (its only on my end, he doesnt hate me as far as I know) who does tons of acid and that is his general and only drug of choice. He gets good stuff for sure. Im from the midwest so we dont get the greatest of any drug here.

My trip location is probably going to be at one of our state parks on a two day camping trip, saturday for tripping, sunday for rest and reflection. Im bringing a sitter no ifs, ands, or buts, who will be holding on to our phones and if I can get them, probably some meds to abort the trip. Im bringing my mp3 player, lots of bottled water, and some fruit, as well as my guitar and my friends are bringing a guitar and a djembe respectively. Just to give you an image of what were planning.

 

Bump. I was hoping to get a little more insight on this.

 

I'm highly skeptical of psychedelics being some sort of creative enhancer. No drug has "helped" me in my composing ventures (I'm into avant-garde jazz/rock at the moment), but holy shit (assuming the experience is positive) you will be very inspired. I'm sure you'll have a great time.

 

the state park sounds like a great setting

not sure about your mental "disorder"...it's sorta common knowledge that you shouldn't trip when you have one.

 

Im not thinking it well help composing so much as just writing on the spot. I just know that when im high, my writing becomes a lot more free flowing because of all the emotions I tend to feel when im high. Anything I do musically when im high I generally do better. I once came home high and mixed a song in the studio perfectly in less than 5 minutes. Ive tried mixing when im not and it never comes out as good. I remember it had something to do with the effect that weed has on the sound of music and that I had control over how the music should be panned/volume/effects. It was like because of hearing it that way I was able to keep adjusting the mix more and more so that the "high-sound feeling" got better and better until I couldnt get it to be any better.

Everybody needs to bear in mind though that if I am bipolar that im bipolar 2, which is a mild form of bipolar that does not cause you to hallucinate or have manic episodes, you stay depressed generally and become "hypomanic" as the other end of the spectrum. and that bipolar is not a thought disorder but a mood disorder. Its nothing like schizophrenia or any other more severe disorder. A lot of people look at bipolar as "crazy" when in reality its more "moody" than anything. Schizophrenia and Bipolar 1, they are "crazy" if anything.

Im not diagnosed as bipolar 2, thats my own speculation. Im diagnosed as depression and social/general anxiety. But ive talked to a bipolar person at length before and we had so much in common along the lines of thought process and such it was crazy. I also have the typical reactions of a bipolar person to weed. Which may explain why its so beneficial to me artistically. Ive also always wondered why I could smoke with other people, them being just regularly high, and im on another planet. Not because of being high itself but because of the emotions/thoughts flowing in to me because of things I look at, and settings. I feel sometimes other people dont feel like that when theyre high at all, they just feel "high".

But regardless, Ive researched LSD in depth which is why ive gone to great lengths in making sure the setting is right and that anything in my control will not interfere with having a good trip. Im not scared to do it as as long as the acid isnt bunk and im feeling good on the day I do it.

My reason for questioning if I should take it or not if I MIGHT be bipolar is that im concerned that even if I make the setting absolutely perfect, if mentally I am prepared, and if the acid is good, that I will just have a bad reaction regardless. Personally I think I dont have a reason to be concerned at all now. But if more than one person with firsthand experience in my situation were to tell me it was definetely a bad idea preperation and all, I wouldnt do it.

 

well what's the big deal then? everyone has mood swings. if i went to your doctor i'd probably get diagnosed as bipolar 2

i understand now that you speculate that you have bipolar 2 "ness"
but maybe you aren't so different as you think. maybe you can't feel what others are feeling, and they have a similar reaction to weed.

but obviously i don't know you, so maybe you're bat-shit crazy


acid makes me fuckin' emotional though. i get "acid tears" frequently when i trip. and there's been a few times that i over-reacted to something and caused a situation.

 

I got diagnosed with a schizoaffective break which is supposedly mood disorder + Schizophrenia. If Bipolar 1 includes hallucinations do you know how schizoaffective differs from Bipolar 1? Because I thought the distinction between the 2 bipolar disorders was the longevity of the mood swings and one of them doesn't go into a severe manic stage or something.

Anyways I used LSD prior to admission and have used it since as well. I have used a good amount of other drugs though as well. I don't remember being on any drugs at the time of admission to the hospital but assuming I wasn't, I don't think LSD has ever really caused me any significantly negative mental effects. I have occassionally felt very much overwhelmed by the trip and there is rapidly swaying of the emotions which you may feel more than someone without bipolar but you should be alright.

I did have a psychotic relapse fairly recently with some other psychedelics and I've been exploring these chems for awhile now. So respect them as powerful mind altering plants and chemicals.

 

Bipolar 2 doesnt go in to a severe manic stage, bipolar 1 however does, and can cause psychosis. All I know is that ive never hallucinated to my knowledge. No shadow people, no voices, no noises, none of that.

What I tend to experience on a daily basis is depression which can vary in severity, and anxiety which also varies in severity.

I think ill be fine as long as I go in with the right mindset and my setting is right.

If anyone else has any advice for me ill take any I can get.

 

You are going to trip regardless of what you read, which is fine. Just be responsible for your actions. You buy the ticket, You take the ride. The age of onset for Bipolar is different for most people. So you may show simptoms of Bipolar 1 later in life.

From what I read you are concerned with bugging out during an LSD trip. Normal concern, but one thing to remember during a trip is to let things go. If you are constantly worrying about if your friends think you're acting weird, or if you look fucked up, or if you are about to loose your mind... you will manifest what ever you want. Be aware of spirals in logic, if you're going down a rabbit hole you do not like, change the music, locations, shoes, what ever you need to turn off a negative loop.

Depression is chemically based, however, one of the most effective therapies for bipolar patients is congnitve behavior therapy. Which essentially teaches an indvidual how to cognitively restructure their thoughts. The difference between you having a great time and a bad time is how you are interpreting whats going on around you.

If you take acid, just give your brain a rest afterward. At least a week no weed, alcohol, etc.

 

let us know how it goes for you, i'm kind of in the same position. i've got some acid now, but i'm very wary of trying it for the first time because of my history of mental illness. working on getting an accurate diagnosis now, but i'm fairly certain it is bipolar II, similar to yourself. i have periods of severe depression, and then usually come 'up' into a hypomanic state for a day or two, then level out back to normal. rinse and repeat.

i'll probably try it at some point when i'm relatively stable, but it would be helpful to hear how things went for you!

 

Exactly. My hypomanic states last for a week or so then I level back to this almost nostalgic/transition/mixed state and then I go back to depression.

For me though every day is different. Like everyday has this unique emotional/mood undertone which bad or good doesnt even describe. Its like everyday has a different aura about it.

I think the big thing for any bipolar person doing acid, smoking weed, or any other psychedelic is the anxiety factor. I remember that once my parents found out I smoked back in the day, it ruined smoking for me kind of. I was constantly anxious about them finding out I was doing it at home. Usually the anxiety would subside once I finished my bowl and got the piece put away but sometimes it would transition in to my high and cause some full blown paranoia, but that only happened twice, otherwise it usually just would tone done my high or even kill it.

Anyway, I think that somehow the anxiety plays off the reaction of the psychedelic to the bipolar disorder and then causes a manic reaction if you go "up" as in youre anxious and then feel safe again during the high. But if you go "down" and feel anxious/paranoid during the high I think it causes a depressed reaction. I was already depressed and anxious in a bad mental state after going through this kind of numb emotionless period from shock and stress (its actually some kind of PTS believe it or not) and smoked around a bunch of douchey assholes who just made it a million times worse. I thought I would get a lift but this is one of the first times it really amplified bad feelings to the max. I was scared to smoke for awhile after that and even now I dont generally like smoking around people at all anymore.

The best thing I think anyone with bipolar disorder (I cant speak for anything else really) is to do whatever youre going to do in an ANXIETY FREE environment. So there is literally no anxiety of any kind going in. As I noticed that when I smoked at home when my parents were away for like a week or more I had the best highs ever, it felt like just how getting high is supposed to feel, which is free in all things.

I havent tripped yet. I dont feel that I could trip right now, in like I said before, an anxiety-free environment. Alone all by myself out in nature would be ideal I think for me in the future, but for the first time I think its best to trip with people so I can get the feel for tripping in a safe environment. The problem is that I dont feel comfortable around anyone at the moment really. I dont have that many good friends so Im just waiting until I find one or two people who I feel totally cool around. People who dont judge, and people who just "get it". The people ive hung around the past year or so just dont get it.

Haha its kind of like they all want to be like this :afro:

and I just want to be like this :daisy:

Once I trip I will do a full report and let everyone and you especially know how it went. Ill probably post on here just giving a heads up that im going to do it when I do.