What's the most retarded thing that ALMOST put you in jail?

I threw doubles three times in succession.

(It's a Monopoly thing)!

 

some of the longest hours ive ever endured, luckily, they were few. but the process of being...processed, was one of the most dehumanizing situations I've ever been in, and probably the most powerless I've ever felt as well.

 

I'm pretty good at avoiding the law's punishment. I always wonder fi eventually I'll get in deep shit. I hope not.

 

One time I was riding late at night with a friend and my cell phone rang, so I stopped in the middle of the road and answered it. A cop pulled over and came up to me. I was stoned and had more weed and some cocaine too. I was very lucky I didn't get busted, I don't know how I didn't...

 

Too many close calls for legit reasons,

but the most retarded was me and a friend were stealing a school crossing street sign. We needed the pole for something we were building. I saw an unmarked car coming down the street and joked about it being a cop. We both laughed until it stopped beside us and a uniformed officer stepped out. He accused us wanting to turn the sign around to cause people to hit kids trying to cross the road (sick fuck) and wouldn’t believe we were just stealing it for skateboarding. We were charged with mischief under 5k, and taken in. We settled on community service in the end.

 

I once was driving over to a buddies house in my old Caprice Classic.. had over an O on me all busted up and a scale.. extra baggies.. also had a couple pipes in my car.. including one in the ash tray that was open.. also had a joint in my ear and a shank in my glove box.. So im driving.. I had 1 headlight out.. first 4-way stop I run into a cop.. keep driving.. next 4-way there is one cop at every intersection except the one im at.. so i turn.. and a cop follows me.. next thing I know im being pulled over..

So as im pulling over i close my ashtray.. stroke the side of my head and drop the joint under my seat... he comes up to the window and goes "You know why I pulled you over?" "Probably because of my headlight?" "Yep.. Can I see license and insurance" .. So i reach into my glove box slowly sifting through because i knew there was a shank in there.. find insurance card and give it to him.. he goes away and comes back "insurance card is expired" So i had to sift again... Find it.. give it to him.. "Ok.. Well get that light fixed and you wont get pulled over anymore.. have a good day".. I just about shit myself.. and drove off