Why don't the at least try?

.

 

"Womyn" GOD you are such a fucking loser!

BITCH! that fits you better anyway Oh i'm sorry BYTCH

 

Okay, well i think enough has been said here but i have to get this off my chest.

Maggiesugar..i looked up to you on advice but you and others on here have made me feel quite bad. We all have a right to our own opinions but its as if you all are saying we mothers who chose not to breatfeed are bad mothers.
Im insulted and i know im a good mother to my daughter. She is in very good health and god im a stay at home mom who spends 24 hrs a day with her.
I would never put her in harm, her needs always come before my own.

Yes its great that there are mothers out there who breastfeed, im not putting them down because i feel differently, so why are you guys??

We all have a diff view on things, and everyones always saying on here not to judge, so i dont understand why us moms who dont are being jugded now...

 

Rayni
there is a way to get your point to people without being rude.
Maybe you should leave the breast feeding thread if it angers you so and attend to some anger management.
Nothing replaces the breast milk that we are MADE TO CREATE AND GIVE TO BABIES FOR A REASON.
If babies were not better off drinking natural milk of mothers we'd not prouce it and all its nutrients.
Your points are valed that peple can be healthy people without being breast fed. But the other womYn (lol)...have better reason to believe that it gives the child the healthiest chance possible if breast fed for the longest possible.

 

I don't think anyone was saying anyone was a bad mother for not breastfeeding. Of course everyone has the right to choose whether or not they want to continue breastfeeding or not breastfeed at all. But there's no need to make up excuses if you are secure in your decision. You can only feel guilty if you feel guilty.

My youngets was supplemented with formula while I worked 2 jobs when he was 2 months old, after exclusively breastfeeding 6 other babies. I'm not going to lie to myself or anyone else about it being the better choice for him. It wasn't, it would have been best if I could have exclusively nursed him. But it was what I had to do to support my family. He's bright and healthy, and my breastfed son is dyslexic. I don't think formula was responsable for his intelligence, and I don't think breastmilk was responsable for my other son's dyslexia.
I chose not to pump after giving it a half-hearted try. I know if I really wanted to I could have done it. I didn't want to. I decided to breastfeed at night and let his father give him Enfamil during the day.
Simple as that. No excuses.
I definately don;t believe in forcng anyone to do what they don;t want to, but I also believe in taking responsability for your actions and choices.

 

Wow Rayni. You really went over the Kuukuu's nest with those last posts. I do not know if I should laugh, or feel sorry for you after your crazy comments.


You have no sources.
You are bullshitting.
You do not even have a child.
Your grammar is like a hick on crack.
Your comment on how we should get abortions just shows your maturity level, and how rotten to the core you are.
You are not a very good spokesperson for the formula companies.LOL

You are thirty years old. Looks like your mother did not do a good job parenting you.

Notice more women are breast feeding and the rate of ADD and ADHD has risen!

I am only noticing your bullshitting, keep going, your getting a large pile.

Breastfeeding is ancient by millions of millions of years. Trace it all the way back to our ancestors that were not even human. There was no prehistoric formula factories. LOL The human body is a being of perfection, and a miracle. Nothing tops the breast, and if you do not believe me. Look on the back of your precious formula container.


You will not even try to enlighten yourself.

 

No one said you weren't a good mother. But I will not deny facts about the superiority of human milk. To do so is negligent.

If you feel what you did was best, you have no room to "feel bad." Did I "feel bad" when you said womyn who breastfed into toddlerhood made you sick? NO, why, because I know what I did (nurse my kids into toddler hood and a few beyond) was best. I didn't' take your remarks about breastfeeding toddlers personally, because I know what I did was best. If you know what you did was best nothing myself or anyone else has said has the power to "make you feel bad."

I was NOT offended by this comment, by skye.

My choices make you "sick?" Well, that is your opinion but it has no bearing on what I know is the best choice. NEITHER should my comments (most of them simple facts) about the actual benefits of breastfeeding and the deficits of not doing so. Why should my comments offend you? Were your comments about being "sickened" intended to offened the MANY of us on this forum who have or are breastfeeding toddlers or preschoolers? Are we breastfeeders supposed to have thicker skin?

Guilt is internally motivated. No one can "make" you feel guilty except yourself. Facts should make no one feel "guilty."

If you know what you did was best, you should feel proud of your decisions and nothing anyone else can say should change that. FACTS are facts, I won't stop quoting them.

No one here intended a personal attack on you, skye. But breastfeeders should not have to be silent about well know facts because some people may "feel guilty." Guilt in an other person is NOT under my, or anyone else's control. There was no intention of "making" you feel anything. Just to state the facts and our OWN opinions as well. Which we breastfeeders are entitled to.

Blessings. I never meant my listing of facts or my personal opinions to be an indictment of your parenting, skye. We are both entitled to our opinoins and those opinions don't and can't change fact. Yet breastfeeding mothers are just as entitled to our opinoins as nonbf moms are to theirs. I see no reason why those of us who DID breastfeed, and those who support BF, with no guilt about thier choices should be silenced to make a few people feel more "comfy" with different choices. If you make a choice OWN it! If you feel GOOD about that choice, continue to do it and defend it, If you feel "bad" about that choice, make some changes, and don't defend it (as Briighid and Apple have done. I used some formula with my first baby, too, and felt AWFUL about it, why, it simply wasn't neccesary, and I don't make excuses, I accept my decision and made changes so I wouldn't ahve to "feel bad" anymore.) That is the only way life goes on. Seeing what is a choice and what isn't and changing things we know we have done improperly and continuing the choices we KNOW are right.

Maggie

 

WOW just because you don't agree with what is being said Rayni, dose not mean you have to get nasty and call people names. And make horrible comments like that.


Skye I don't think anyone ment to make you feel bad. You are a good mother. My mother was a good mother, she gave me formula. I am a good mother and my child did have formula for a while. We all just feel very strongly about this subject. I have to say at least you expressed your opionion in a nice fashion. I just don't understand why some people can't disagree without being nasty about it.

 

I didn't read in any of these posts that a womyn is wrong for not breastfeeding. Just the facts that breastfeeding is better. People have to make choices. My son was not breastfed. He was adopted. I know I could have tried to breastfeed him, but I let work and other issues interfer and decided not to try. That doesn't make me a bad mother. It just means I looked at all the facts and chose the next best thing, organic formula.

Rayni, Skye and anyone else who felt disrespected, no one is saying you are a bad mother. You made the choice you felt was best for you and your child. But don't put others down for making a different choice. I really don't think there is any room on this list for the kind of namecalling I have seen here. Maggie and Bridgid are well respected experts in the subjects of childbirth and breastfeeding. I think we should respectfully listen to what they have to say. If you don't agree say so, but don't use insults and namecalling. Let's all take a few deep breaths and calm down a bit. This list is for support not namecalling.

Peace,
Kathi

 

I think this bord is lucky to have a few people who know a lot about the subject~ Thanks mammas.

 

Absolutely! This is one of those situations where in many cases it is just beyond possibility. Some mamas try to nurse an adopted baby, but it is WAY more than many can take on, especially if they have other kids as Kathi does. (It takes up ALL your time to adoptive nurse, and I have nothing but respect for mamas and daddies who give their hearts and lives to an adopted baby!)

Mamas certain can be great mamas and not BF. Kathi understands that no one was targeting her at all, (as we weren't) as she KNEW what she did for her baby was absolutely the best she could give at the time. (I hope I am not speaking for you, Kathi, I have seen you post about your little child before, and your commitment is total.) See, if you KNOW your choice is right, you don't ever feel bad about it. And there is totally no reason to feel bad, if you know you have done your best.

 

Kathi, do you have a source for organic formula? Is is home made, or do you buy it? As an LC we are not allowed to suggested brands of formula, but I could let my clients who actually need to supplement know there is an alternative. I have a client right now with PCOS, and has a physical limit to how much milk she can produce (I see a client in her situation about once a year) she give the baby ALL she has, but stilll needs a few extra ounces a day, as he is still hungry in the late afternoon.

Let me know if you have a resource for store bought organic formula. I, due to restrictions from my governing body, am not allowed to give recipies for home made formula to my clients, although some kids still do well on it.

I know they have it in Europe, but the drug company monopoly on Formula manufacture is so tight in the US, that I have never seen organic infant formula in the store. (But my local Whole Foods has toddler formula, which a few of my clients have used.) Please let me know if you have a source.

TIA!

 

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=organic+infant+formulaI know they have things liek this at the food co op near me. Here sia link to get a list of natural food co ops everywhere then hopefully you may find one near you...

http://www.nationalco-opdirectory.com/ you can also email these folks and ask them what products they have and they'll tell you if they have it or not.

 

Maggie:

Here's the formula we used for Dakota:

http://www.naturesone.com/products.htm

Available in Dairy or Soy-based versions....

 

What is the difference between giving a baby that and giving a baby regular formulas?

 

Being organic, the ingredients were grown without pesticides, so the product will be free of pesticide residues. Cows producing the dairy version will not be doped up with antibiotics and growth hormones, and the soy version is made with non-GMO soybeans.

 

Organic cows also tend to be happier and healthier. So it is reflected in their milk. They actually get to graze outside under the warm sun, and eat fresh grass. Regular cows are poor creatures who often live in silos, where they cannot move, covered in shit, and diseased(that is why they give them the antibiotics).

 

Wow, thanks Ellis. I really like their site, they are really breastfeeding freindly and seem more concerned with the baby's entire well being than just selling formula, which is really refreshing.

I have bookmarked the site, and printed some of the nutritional information for more research.

I am glad this is available, I am always scared when my clients want to use Home made formula, it is so easy to mess it up, and you just can't buy things like Taurine and DHA and add it successfully on your own.

This will really come in handy. I am glad you and Kathi found this for Dakota.

 

When I had my daughter (5 years ago now... ) I was really looking forward to breastfeeding her.... I tried and tried, but it was really hard going, she had real problems latching on. I'm kinda big breasted, don't know if that was the problem or not, but I was miserable, I spent the nights crying while she was asleep because I knew she would wake up and need fed and that we'd be there for hours and hours to no avail, and that I would be in agony for hours afterwards. She wasn't content and I was a mess!!! I eventually tried to express milk into a bottle, God, I filled 4 bottles in one sitting!!! That worked a treat!

Some of the midwives were really supportive, but one was a bitch. I was still in hospital and I asked for some help to get her to latch on and all she did was slap my daughter onto my left breast saying, "come on you little sod, get sucking". She was really rough with her, as if she wasn't latching on on purpose!! So, I didn't ask for help after that......

When I have another baby (hopefully soon! ) I will definitely try again, but I am not going to be distressed and have my baby distressed if it doesn't work out. The time with your new baby is waaaay too precious to spoil with negative feelings like that.

 

Well, there are many reasons why mothers choose not to breastfeed. Some have oversexualized their breasts, some have to go back to work full time, some have to take meds that are contraindicated, some adopt, some foster (like me!). But the biggest reason, IMO, is because this country has been overrun by mainstream parenting philosophies that try to detach the baby from the mother as early as possible. It's the "norm" to feed your baby on a schedule, to put them in a lonely crib and let them scream, to wean them from the bottle as soon as possible, to take their security blankets and pacifiers away to avoid making them too dependent, etc., etc... A lot of women are actually accustomed to getting all these cutesy bottles as baby shower gifts, and popping them into their baby's mouths. It's just "easier"...


It's sad, to me, that more people aren't following their natural motherly instincts, but that's why us AP'ers have to get out there and show them that they CAN mother the way they feel is right, as opposed to following some mainstream parenting book because the doctor said so. Yes, there are some AP mamas who choose to formula feed, and of course this is a free country, you are free to do as you please. But for the most part AP'ers are a breastfeeding population, and we need to be supportive and insightful, and give advice to some of these young mothers who have never been exposed to a natural AP lifestyle. They just go by what there grandmothers and mothers and mother in-laws have done before them (bottle feed) because it's "easier" than asking for help from someone who's been there/done that.

I myself didn't have the option of formula feeding. My son was a boobaholic (still is at 2) and wanted to nurse every 15 minutes for the first two months of his life. He would not take a pacifier. Through tears I tried to make him a bottle of formula, becuase surely this meant that he wasn't getting enough to eat. He refused the bottle and screamed bloody murder. So I spent my first weeks as a mother on the couch, with my baby at my breast, typing on Mothering.com and breastfeeding.com. I believe that I probably would have supplemented with formula had my son accepted the bottle. I tried formula feeding, but it just didn't work out for me. I don't feel guilty at all, we gave it a shot and it just wasn't for us.

But I believe a lot of women think it's "gross", or "wrong" for their baby to use their breasts as a pacifier, so they automatically think their baby must not be getting enough milk, they introduce a bottle, and ultimately their breastfeeding days are over. It's really not their fault- no one ever told them that it is perfectly normal for babies to use their mamas for comfort, nd that most babies want to be constantly close to their mamas. Again, most people are used to forcing babies to detach and be more independent as soon as possible, so it's just not "acceptable" to carry a baby in a sling 24/7- that would be spoiling! So, we just need to offer this information to women so that they can make an INFORMED decision about how they care for their children, as opposed to conforming to the norm of society...

Good luck to all the mamas out here. It isn't easy! And, if I may be so bold, MOTHERHOOD *IS* THE END ALL, BE ALL!!! I formula fed my foster daughter, and it was just as hard as breastfeeding my son. We're all in this together, for the greater good of the future, and we ALL need to make the best, most unselfish choices when it comes to raising our children.

I loved your comments cosmic butterfly and maggie sugar! LMAO