Sex : Killed what we could have had???

Hello,

I'll try to make this short but please please read on and comment, I feel really sad about this situation..

About 7 months ago, I met this wonderful guy and two months later we started started going out..

I'm 29 and he's 30. At the beginning, everything is good. Sex is good, although I would have liked to take things a bit more slow, I ended up agreeing to sex and I liked it..

After about 2 months of going out, he looses his job. And from then, I lost all desire in sex... I just don't want to have sex with him because I feel it's not sexy to have a boyfriend who doesn't work.

He pratically lives with me, spent about 5 days a week at my place, but can't help pay anything. I'm the one paying for everything and even helping him out to pay for gas and his car payment...

I thought that after he finds a job, things would get better and back to normal. He now started working again, but I'm in a bit a debts now and I feel that it's his fault, because I helped him pay...

I felt that I had to help him as he is my boyfriend but that this situation SOOOOO early in our relationship kind of killed what it could have been???

I think I did help him because deep inside I know he is a wonderful man and I could see myself growing old with him, have kids and the whole lot...

I just don't know how to be able to feel desire again for him after that? Can it come back? Could we ever start again now that he has a job and all can be normal?!

 

if your only concern when searching out a partner is money, then i don't see why you wouldn't be able to like him again once he starts making lots of money again.

 

It's not my only concern... I did help him and put myself in debts for him..

But in the beginning of a relationship, in my case anyway, it really affected me that I had to be the one paying for everything..

I still like him alot and still want to pursue the relationship but the desire for sex is not there anymore and that's what's scares me.

Can it come back??

Your answer shows that this never happened to you, but thanks anyway..

 

Non sequitur
Think about it... unless he expected you to help... either way, your debt is the result of your actions and not his responsibility because if I'm not mistaken, the word "no" exists for a reason. Don't lend money unless you're willing/able to give it away.

 

:iagree:
For as we all know Money "Can't buy you Love"

 

Well... I think that is what 'killed what you might have had.' If you relate sexiness with work or money, it doesn't suggest you are very interested in the intimacy of sex itself.

I would suggest you find a rich businessman so you can masturbate over his piles of money while he's away at the office making more.

 

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^^ This said it all . Well said stinkfoot .

As long as I live I don't think I'll EVER figure out women !

 

Clearly it's a mental thing. Go easy on him. The notion that a man should work is right and wrong......laziness is completely understandable as a deal-breaker, but the economy is tough right now, and he only went a couple months without a job.

 

my wife hasn't worked in years, I still love her

 

Isn't that all you need? Seriously? I'd happily live with a woman who thought that of me in a trailer park in the middle of a tornado zone, with just enough money to feed my family, as opposed to being well off but stuck with a loveless harridan.

In fact, I made that decision 5 years ago. Never been poorer; never been happier.

I think you need to analyse what it is that you want. If it's a rich guy, fine. But be honest with yourself, and with others, about that.

 

Ughh, you horrible, horrible person.

 

what could have been can be revived, if you truly want it